Well folks, yesterday we covered #25-21 of the Top 25 NES Tracks.
That particular tier of the list was seemingly dominated by Sunsoft games, movie tie-ins, and sports games.
Funny how shit like that works out…
Anyway, today we’re taking our first step up in quality, from the bottom tier of the NES’ best, to the, uh, “slightly-higher-than-the-bottom” tier!
That being said, let’s get down to dah’ music!:
#20. Final Fantasy
Haha! That’s right, SUCK IT fanboys!
Final Fantasy has never really held a special place in my heart.
Neither have RPGs for that matter.
I played the original Final Fantasy as a kid, and simply couldn’t get into it.
Similar to my experiences with the Zelda series, I felt I never knew what to do, or where to go, ultimately resulting in me wandering the landscape for a time, only to run into a pack of imps and get my party of green-as-fuck level 1 heroes ass-fucked into oblivion.
That's a lot of Imps...
To this day, I haven’t played a new Final Fantasy since VIII, and I haven’t truly enjoyed any since VI.
Yeah, VI was the shit…
Name another game where you can Suplex a fuckin' Train. I dare you.
That being said, my lack of appreciation for the Final Fantasy series is what places “The Prelude,” a classic of gaming music history as old as myself; so low on this list.
It’s a beautiful, almost whimsical piece of music, that certainly still endures to this day, but to me; it’s just the title theme of a game I hated as a kid.
Did I mention all the fanboys can suck a big fat Blackanese cock?
...Or at the very least, a big black dildo.
#19. River City Ransom
River City Ransom is AWESOMELY FUCKIN’ BADASS.
Seriously man, the guys over at Technos deserve a fuckin’ Earth Badge for everything they put into The City of River Ransoming, ’cause the whole game is a work of genius.
Unlike this man, who is sadly, NOT a Real Genius...
You take Double FUCKIN’ Dragon, which is already BADASS as is, then throw in some AWESOMELY shitty dialogue and a leveling/shopping system, and you’ve got the AWESOMELY FUCKIN’ BADASS game that is River City Ransom!
Game writing at it's finest.
Excuse me, I think I just came in my pants…
*Ahem!* Anyway, River City Ransom was, and is, an awesome game that I spent hours upon hours playing in my youth.
That being said, though there are many great pieces of memorable music in the game, most notably the standard street brawling theme and the shopping music, I feel that the track that best represents the game, is “The Boss Theme.”
Full of energy and pulse-pounding drama, “The Boss Theme” invokes all of the emotions that a boss theme should.
The only other track that could possibly eclipse it, is the River City Ransom version of the Double Dragon theme, though that loses out by a hair due to the fact that, well, the Double Dragon theme actually sounds a whole lot better in the Double Dragon series than it does here…
#18. Snow Bros.
“Stage 1 Theme”
You knew they were gonna’ pop on the list somewhere, but did you really think the crack covered snow men would rank so low?
When forming this list, I did what I could to check my ego at the door and really try and place these tracks appropriately.
While I love Snow Bros., and all of it’s music, deep down I knew that, musically speaking; it’s far from a work of art.
Unlike THIS, which is... Probably the most terrifying thing I've ever laid eyes upon...
As mentioned in my Snow Bros. article, the “Stage 1 Theme” is a piece of music that I hummed throughout my childhood, such that my mother still knows the tune to this day.
It’s a wonderfully light piece of cutesy music that has a “rotundness” to it that really goes well with the chubbiness and slow-footed nature of the title characters.
I love the “Stage 1 Theme,” and it pains me to place it at #18, but sadly I simply can’t justify placing it any higher.
*Sniff!* Fuckin’ principles n’shit, makin’ me shit on Snow Bros…
“The Battletoads Theme”
There are few 8-bit era themes as rockin’ and kick-ass as “The Battletoads Theme,” and by golly, I love every note of it.
It was tempting to put the stupid-ass “Pause Screen” music on the list as another joke entry akin to Skate or Die 2, however I managed to restrain myself.
While the Battletoads game is, as indicated in one of my previous articles, far from one of my favorite games; the Battletoads themselves are a different story altogether.
In the early 90’s, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were king.
Gods among men, they were...
It doesn’t take a genius to see that the Battletoads, Biker Mice from Mars, Street Sharks and Extreme Dinosaurs were all lame attempts to cash in on their success.
Pictured: The Ninja Turtles for the UFC generation...
That being said, while very little of it actually came to fruition, the Battletoads were, at one point; in line to get their own cartoon, comic book, and action figures.
Because my brother and I had a subscription to Gamepro (back when it was actually good), we caught word of this very early on, and in fact were treated to a some of the early comics printed in the pages of the magazine.
Yeah, something tells me it was a GOOD thing this never got aired...
Needless to say, the Battletoads, despite starring in a series of games that were frustratingly difficult, were pushed on me pretty aggressively as a kid.
Whoever was head of the marketing department for the Battletoads deserves a pat on the back, ’cause despite having little to no positive memories of any Battletoads games, the ‘toads still have a place in my heart.
A lot of my love for the Battletoads though, springs from the awesomeness of their theme music, which is why it sits comfortably on this list at #17.
StarTropics was and is, a tremendously fun, rewarding, and unique game.
While I never actually beat it, (got close though) I have many fond memories of watching my brother play it day in and day out.
I loved the world map, and how it reminded me of Hawaii.
Heh heh, it's funny 'cause it's butt...
I loved the goofy noise the submersible made when it dived.
Most of all though, I loved the straightforward nature of the action levels and the “Dungeon Theme” that played over them.
The “Dungeon Theme” was unique in that, while most of environments that the action scenes took place in were scary looking caves, the music was very upbeat.
It had an island, almost calypso feel to it that really got you into the action, while giving everything a colorful and inviting feel to it.
It also did well to set up the drastic change in musical tonality that would occur when the “you’re getting close to the boss” music would transition over it.
Startropics is a game series that I could see myself sitting down and playing through someday.
It’s also a series that I sincerely hope gets a continuation or remake at some point.
Here’s to hoping for a return trip to C-Island someday…
Mike Jones: Adventurer, Hero, and Banana Holding Buffoon.
Thus concludes the slightly-higher-than-bottom tier of the Azn Badger’s Top 25 NES Tracks!
Check back tomorrow when we finally start getting to the good stuff in the middle-tier of the list!
Filed under: Games, Movies, The Top 25 NES Tracks, Barf!, Battletoads, Best Track in the Game, Biker Mice From Mars, Boss, C-Island, Capcom, Doom Train, Double Dragon, Dowtown Nekketsu Monogatari, Dungeon Theme, Earth Badge, Enix, Extreme Dinosaurs, Final Fantasy, game, Gamepro, Generation, JRPG, Legend of Zelda, Link, list, Mike Jones, MMA, music, NES, Nintendo, Pause Screen, Pokemon, Rare, Real Genius, River City Rampage, RPG, series, Snow Bros., Square, Squaresoft, Stage 1, StarTropics, Street Sharks, suplex, Technos, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Prelude, theme, TMNT, Top 25, tracks, UFC, Val Kilmer, VI, videogame, VIII, Youtube, Zelda