I Believe In Toshiaki Nishioka

Pictured: Toshiaki Nishioka posing with Rafael Marquez.

Well folks, it’s that time again.

Tomorrow night, a Japanese boxer will once again challenge fate and attempt to defend their world title on American soil.

Said boxer is Toshiaki Nishioka, a hard-punching and tenacious veteran who will be defending his Super Bantamweight title against the equally powerful, but slighty shopworn Rafael Marquez.

It might not sound like a big deal to us here in the states, but to date, no Japanese fighter has ever succeeded in defending a legit world title on American soil.

The last champion to step up to the challenge, was former Jr. Featherweight champion Akifumi Shimoda, who if you’ll recall was knocked senseless in the 7th round via a left hook to the jaw from the challenger, and now champion; Rico Ramos.

Pictured: Shimoda, laid out after a monster left hook from Ramos.

Though it hurt to watch Shimoda lose in such dramatic fashion, but in my heart I knew it was to be expected.

I keep tabs on quite a few Japanese fighters, and in that sense I feel the fact that Shimoda was never one of them should speak to his abilities/promise as a fighter.

Besides, the man he won the title from, Ryo Li Lee; was perhaps the biggest underdog champs in recent memory, so in many ways it’s surprising that Teiken was willing to take the gamble in sending Shimoda to the states without a few more tune-up fights under his belt.

That being said, unlike Shimoda, I truly believe Toshiaki Nishioka is the real deal:

Hozumi Hasegawa was, and forever will be, “my guy” in Japanese boxing, but deep down I’ve always known he was little more than a upper-middle tier fighter.

He was never as good as I hoped he would be, but I “picked” him, and wasn’t about to lose faith in him just because of a few losses.

A few REALLY BAD losses...

That’s just who I am.

While Nishioka may not be “my guy,” the fact of the matter is, he’s likely one of the best Japanese world champion boxers of his generation.

2 names always pop up in discussions involving the current state of Japanese boxing, namely that of Koki Kameda, and Toshiaki Nishioka.

While Kameda is easily the more popular fighter, especially among Japanese fans, in my mind I view the older and more accomplished Nishioka as the better and more complete fighter.

Kameda has immense potential, but I don’t see his no-jab, counter heavy-style sustaining him on the world stage for very long.

Plus, HE LOOKS LIKE A MONKEY. And he smells funny.

Like many Japanese boxers, Nishioka took a few losses early in his career, though this in no way prevented his career from being a consistent march upward in terms of quality of opposition.

Left-handed and atypically powerful and gutsy for a Japanese fighter, Nishioka’s only real sore spot in his career was in the early 2000’s when he fought the immensely prolific and longstanding Bantamweight champ, Veeraphol Sahaprom a mind-boggling 4 times in as many years.

During this series of fights, Nishioka lost to, and drew with Sahaprom 2 times, with each fight going the distance and being closely contested on the scorecards.

Fun fact:

Despite Nishioka’s 4 attempts to dethrone Sahaprom, it was my boy Hozumi Hasegawa who ultimately succeeded in 2004 via unanimous decision.

Not only that, Hasegawa KO’d Sahaprom in the rematch the following year, thereby cementing his reputation as a true Bantamweight champion.

Nishioka got a badass clip, so I figure it’s only fair I give one to my boy Hasegawa as well:

In fighting Sahaprom, I feel Nishioka came up short due to a clash of styles.

Nishioka isn’t the most elusive of fighters, making him easy prey for Sahaprom’s cagey tactics and seasoned boxing.

In this way, Hasegawa’s superior handspeed and constant lateral movement were likely responsible for his victories over Sahaprom.

Nishioka may not have Hasegawa’s speed or elusiveness, but he does have a solid chin, power in both hands, and the tenacity of a pit bull.

That counts for a lot when you’re a world class Southpaw with soild fundamentals.

At 35 years old, may not have many fights left in him, nor does his “on paper” reputation paint him as the best of fighters, but as of writing this, I truly believe him to be the best active boxer in Japan, and potentially in his weight class.

Despite his age, Nishioka hasn’t lost since 2004, and in the days since then, his career has blossomed in a renaissance of sorts, rewarding him with sound victories and highlight reel knockouts against solid competition.

He may not have been “my guy” in Hasegawa’s heyday, but now, when I’m forced to pick between him and the impetuous Koki Kameda, I think I’m finally ready to call Nishioka “my guy” in Japanese boxing.

Again, HE LOOKS LIKE A MONKEY.

I believed in him all those times he came this close to edging a victory against Sahaprom.

I believed in him when he finally won the title from Genaro Garcia.

I believed in him when he knocked the piss out of Jhonny Gonzalez.

And tomorrow night, when he faces another cagey veteran in the form of Rafael Marquez, I will believe in Toshiaki Nishioka all the same.

Do it for history!  Do it for Japan!

Filed under: Boxing, Uncategorized, Akifumi Shimoda, boxing, Genaro Garcia, Hozumi Hasegawa, Japanese, Jhonny Gonzalez, Koki Kameda, Rafael Marquez, Rico Ramos, Ryo Li Lee, Toshiaki Nishioka, Veeraphol Sahaprom

Really Digging Deus Ex

In light of the insane number of A-list games coming out this season, I had assumed, well in advance; that I was likely going to forgo purchasing Deus Ex: Human Revolution.

It’s not that I wasn’t interested in the game, it’s just that when you look at the upcoming releases over the next couple of months, well, Deus Ex just doesn’t seem like as big of a deal as it likely should.

That being said, thanks to a very generous (and random) sale on Amazon.com, I found myself saying “Fuck it, it’s too cheap not to buy,” and a few clicks of the mouse later I found myself with a brand new copy of a heavily discounted Deus Ex.

Well, I’ve been playing around with it for awhile now, and I can honestly say, I’m happy I made the investment.

Mind you, it’s not a perfect game by any means, but there’s just so many little things about it that mean a lot to me personally.

I’m not really an avid fan of the Deus Ex series, in fact I only played the original for a few hours before deciding I didn’t need to finish it, but I do have a lot of love and respect for what it represents.

I’ve always been into the whole cyberpunk design aesthetic, and character customization/modification means enough to me that I’ve bought countless wrestling videogames purely for the character creator function, so on paper; the Deus Ex games are very much up my alley.

The new Deus Ex includes both of these aspects of the original, while adding a new layer of polish and presentation that make it far more accessible than it’s predecessors.

For example, the core gameplay; the stealth and shooting, really feel on par with a straight action game.

Action RPGs that feel “floaty” or involve a lot of noticeable number crunching in their combat mechanics are kind of a pet peeve of mine.

I hate shooting at someone in a game, and then “feeling it” as the game computes my character’s attributes, applies them to the statistics of his gun, and then applies said data to the attributes of the enemy I’m shooting to determine the amount of damage I deal.

It’s hard to explain, but you know it when you feel it.

I don’t know about you, but in my world guns do gun-like damage regardless of what “level” my Marksman skill is at, or how hard I pull the trigger.

I don’t get this feeling when I’m playing Deus Ex.

On that note, I feel I should probably point out that, as of writing this, I haven’t killed anyone in Deus Ex!

Early on I found the Metal Gear/Rainbow Six: Vegas-esque stealth mechanics to be robust and rewarding to the point in which I never found a need to kill anyone.

Oddly enough, I’ve found it very rewarding playing through the game relying exclusively on taser-ings and choke holds.

It’s funny though, as good as the stealth mechanics are, in many ways they are somewhat primitive.

Sure, the guards are more responsive to sound than in most games, and their sight distance is atypically high, but at the end of the day; the AI is actually kind of dumb.

For instance, in Metal Gear Solid 2, guards make use of radios, and if they don’t check in frequently enough; reinforcements are deployed to assess the situation.

This always made maneuvering around guards an ideal course of action over fighting/neutralizing them, but it also made the game somewhat frustrating at times.

While the enemy AI and stealth mechanics of Deus Ex are technically less complex than this, I feel it’s a gameplay decision that lends itself well to making the game much more streamlined and fun.

In all, sneaking around in Deus Ex is one of the more enjoyable parts of the game, especially when you’re playing the way I am with a totally non-lethal character.

I’ve heard the AI is less than stellar in direct combat, but that’s something I likely won’t be encountering until I start a new playthrough.

Moving on, another aspect of Deus Ex that surprised me, was the hacking mini-game.

I can’t stand locked doors/sealed off areas in games, so I knew I was going to be doing a lot of hacking in Deus Ex; which had me a bit worried it was going to ruin the experience for me.

To be fair, it took me awhile to warm up to it, but now I think I really like hacking in Deus Ex.

The controls are a bit sloppy on the console, but it’s not overly complicated, and more importantly; it’s quick.

Few things are more annoying in games than mini-games that eat up too much time and take you out of the core experience.

To date, I have yet to encounter a door I couldn’t open with a little finessing, something I can honestly say was not the case in games like Oblivion.

Speaking of Oblivion, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the fact that Deus Ex is a fairly streamlined and distinctly un-sandbox-y experience.

I don’t know about you, but I find sandbox games to be massively intimidating.

I’m very much a completionist when it comes to most things in life, so the idea of being dropped into a massive world with free rein to do whatever the fuck I want, is not exactly ideal.

I need structure in my gaming, a clear purpose or direction to keep me on track.

Without it, I tend to freeze up, get lost, or worse yet, end up spending 40 hours in the first town of the game and never even start the main quest.

In this way, Deus Ex’s small-ish city setting and mission based narrative really “does it” for me.

I’ve never felt lost or daunted, and for once, I actually feel rewarded when I do most of the quests.

That being said, the conversation system of Deus Ex, while simple, is exceptional.

Most of it’s success can be attributed to good writing and line delivery, but I really enjoy conversing with characters and being forced to remain attentive in order to succeed.

On one occasion I found myself having to rely on information imparted to me from optional documents, items I could’ve easily picked up and not read.

You can tell a game’s writing is exceptional when you actually want to read the random notes and e-mails scattered throughout the environment.

The one downside to the dialogue of the game, and this is totally just me being weird, is the very obvious use of a largely Canadian voice cast.

I realize the game was developed by EA Montreal, so Canadian voice actors are to be expected, but I’m one of those jackasses that giggles whenever he hears an “uh-boot” or “bee-n” instead of “about” and “been.”

It’s a minor gripe, but it actually does make the drama a little harder to swallow for me, so I figured I’d mention it.

As of now, I’m currently in the second half of the Hengsha segment of the game, and I’m still enjoying every moment.

I’ve read that a lot of people are extremely disappointed in some of the game’s boss fights, however as of now I have no issue with them.

True, I’ve only fought 1 as of now, but to me, it didn’t seem that bad at all.

Maybe it’s just because I entered into the fight ill-equipped (non-lethal playthrough, remember?) and actually had to scramble for ammo and weapons before I could even begin to fight back, but I honestly had some fun fighting the first boss.

Hell, any occasion in which you have to take on a grenade and mini-gun toting hulk of a boss with nothing but fire extinguishers and a silenced pistol has got to have some redeemable qualities, right?

Anyway, there’s a whole lot more to be said, but for now that’s all I’ve got.

Don’t be afraid to check out Deus Ex, it’s a lot more fun than it lets on.

Filed under: Games, 360, accent, Canadian, Deus Ex, EA Montreal, Games, Human Revolution, Metal Gear, Oblivion, PC, Playstation, review, Square Enix, videogames, Xbox

I Want To See Real Steel, And I Don’t Care Who Knows It

A funny thing happened the past few times I went the theater with my friends.

Trailers for the robot boxing movie, Real Steel ran, and then I’d hear my buddies snicker and giggle at the preposterous nature of it.

The funny thing was, I didn’t agree with them.

Maybe it’s just because I grew up with Transformers and other such robot themed adventure stories, or the fact that I’m a lifelong boxing fan; but I looked at the trailers for Real Steel and saw a film that could be fun.

Well, fun for me anyway.

To me, I look at this as Rocky meets Robot Jox, which in itself was basically Rocky IV with robots.

God I loved that movie…

I’ve always said Robot Jox was a solid premise for a movie, and one that could actually use some attention from the Hollywood remake machine.

I look at Real Steel as not only my best chance to see that silly dream of mine actually come to fruition, but as a chance for me to see a fun boxing movie with killer CGI motion capture effects.

As my buddy told me, in a world where boxing is becoming increasingly irrelevant in the mainstream, you’ve gotta’ take what you can get, whether it be the mediocrity of Friday Night Fights or exploitative and hokey Hollywood dramas.

That being said, based purely on the trailers, I have a feeling Real Steel will likely have a bit more heart and substance to it than most people would expect from a robot fighting movie.

Alongside what I see as being an underdog tournament movie, it seems like the relationship between Hugh Jackman, his kid, and their robot will likely be the core of the film.

If any one of those plotlines ends up being at all worthwhile, I honestly can’t see the action being a letdown, which in my book adds up to a good time at the movies.

Then again, I’m heavily biased on account of my tendency to excuse crappy acting and plotting in exchange for good/great action.

That being said, I mentioned that I’m a huge fan of motion capture technology, right?

Well, I am.

As a fan of martial arts and sci-fi “suit acting,” my appreciation for the power of body language and mime is largely responsible for my love of film.

You see this shit? This shit's awesome. Don't let nobody tell you otherwise.

I look at motion capture as a natural evolution of “suit acting.”

It gives actors/stunt people the power to enter the intricate skin of a CGI character or thing and breath a sort of tangible life into them that mere computer wizardry and animation skills simply can’t.

That being said, while seeing movies like Avatar make use of a form of the technology to tell a story, my action/kung fu movie lover’s heart has always been more interested in seeing motion capture being used for a different, more entertaining purpose.

I’ve been waiting, and waiting for an extended exhibition of what motion capture can do when paired up with martial arts, and goddamnit, I see Real Steel as my best chance to see just that.

I’m excited for Real Steel, and I have been for a long time now.

That being said, even though I vowed I would never do it in my lifetime, this might have to be that one movie I have to go see alone…

Filed under: Boxing, Kung Fu, Movies, Tokusatsu, Uncategorized, boxing, films, Hugh Jackman, IV, Kamen Rider, motion capture, Movies, Real Steel, Robot Jox, Rocky, suit acting, Tokusatsu, Transformers

And Now, Johnny Depp Slapping Some Kid In A Hospital.

That is all.

Filed under: Movies, 21 Jump Street, Azn Badger, blog, funny, Johnny Depp, random, slap, TV

Remember When Kevin Nash Was A Wizard?

This isn’t the first time I’ve used this blog to riff on Kevin Nash.

It’s funny though, I honestly don’t have a problem with the guy, in fact there was a time when I liked him a lot; it’s just that, like many wrestlers who’ve worked every organization in existence, he has a lot of phases to his career that were less than flattering.

That being said, Nash’s earlier turn in WCW as the emerald robed and turbaned wizard character, Oz; is easily the most embarrassing of said career blemishes.

Articulate 7-footers with charisma are a rare commodity in wrestling, such that promoters often jump at the chance to seize one for their ranks.

Kevin Nash always had these qualities going for him, but for whatever reason, WCW completely mismanaged his early career, resulting in him portraying no less 3 different characters in as many years.

Oz, was the second of these characters.

As you can plainly see in the clip above, WCW made no bones about citing Oz’s relation to/inspiration from The Wizard of Oz, even going so far as to parade Dorothy and her friends down the ramp during his debut.

Though I know it’s supposed to be another reference to The Wizard of Oz, I can’t help but snicker at the thought of Oz being from “The Emerald City” AKA my hometown of Seattle.

While Nash’s wrestling ability and magnetic personality did a lot to sustain his standing as a legit wrestler, there’s no denying that the absolutely horrid “wizard” gimmick and silly turban were severely detrimental to his career in the early goings.

His "Crazy Eyes" on the other hand, proved wildly successful with the kids...

Basically, Nash may indeed have made some fans during his first tour with WCW, but I seriously doubt any of them were born during his turn as Oz.

In most cases, I would expect the average wrestling fans reaction to watching Oz stroll down the ramp to be somewhat in line with that of Ian Malcolm’s:

Filed under: Movies, Uncategorized, Wrestling, Dorothy, gimmick, Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park, Kevin Nash, Oz, The Wizard of Oz, WCW, wrestling, WWF

Remember When Hulk Hogan Got Raped By A Mummy?

Ah, The Dungeon of Doom.

Few other stables in wrestling have produced as many fail-tastic gimmicks, and absolutely horrid matches as The Dungeon of Doom.

Created in the pre-NWO era, The Dungeon was WCW gaggle of supervillain-esque heels that feuded with Hulk Hogan on and off for about 2 years.

While I’m guessing they were supposed to be a legitimate threat, they really came across as the Cobra to Hogan’s G.I. Joe.

Well actually, given the kind of magical/supernatural bent that they had for a lot of the characters, it’d probably be more accurate to call them the Skeletor to Hogan’s He-Man.

Despite this, it’s funny to look back on The Dungeon and think of some of the (decent) name wrestlers that passed through it’s toxic halls.

For example, Lex Luger, Jimmy Hart, The Giant and Meng the Merciless all did a tour with The Dungeon and look how they turned out.

Well, at least The Big Show went on to to greener pastures…

The point is, The Dungeon could’ve been better had their matches and storylines been booked better.

And if they didn’t let Brutus Beefcake do his whole “Zodiac” thing:

Jesus fuck that was some stupid-ass shit…

Anyway, let’s talk about the clip at the top of this post:

I can’t recall the actual context of it, but from what I can tell, The Giant had Hogan in a bearhug, and then “The Yeti” arrived and decided to join in and help out…

Oh boy, you know it’s bad when they have a guy clearly dressed as a mummy, that they decide to name The Yeti.

Or is that “Yeh-Tay?”

I honestly couldn’t tell based on how the announcer kept FUCKING UP the pronunciation.

Either due to his lack of in-ring ability, or due to his love for insta-tanned man-butt, The Yet then proceeded to embrace Hogan from behind, thereby sandwiching him between himself and The Giant; and then vigorously gyrate and thrust his hips in a suggestive manner.

To their credit, the announcing team continually make claims that “This could be the end of Hulkamania” to reassure the audience of the urgency of the situation, but even so; we all know what was goin’ on…

Filed under: Movies, Uncategorized, Wrestling, Brutus Beefcake, Cobra, GI Joe, He-Man, Jimmy Hart, Lex Luger, Masters of the Universe, Meng, NWO, Skeletor, The Big Show, The Dungeon of Doom, The Giant, The Yeti, WCW, wrestling, Zodiac

I Kind Of Miss Kevin Riepl…

I know what you’re thinking:

“Who’s Kevin Riepl?”

Well, to be perfectly honest; I have absolutely no fucking clue.

That is, outside of knowing him as the man responsible for composing the first Gears of War soundtrack, I’m really not familiar with his body of work.

IMDb-ing him (IMDb track videogames? Since when?) brings to light the fact that he has some strong ties to Epic Games, in the form of contributing soundtracks to several entries in the Unreal Tournament series.

Despite being familiar with most of these games, I can honestly say their music failed to leave an impression on me.

Probably because I ever recall of the Unreal games, at least from an audio standpoint; is this:

That being said, ever since I first played it, the Gears of War soundtrack, more specifically the main theme of the game; has always stood out to me as one of the better and more memorable game soundtracks out there, particularly in the modern era where games tend to favor ambient tunes over more thematic ones.

If you haven’t heard it before, then you’re in for a treat:

Imagine my surprise when I discovered neither Riepl, nor his brilliant theme music would be returning for any of the Gears sequels.

I may be in the minority on this, but I grew up watching James Bond and Godzilla movies by the truckload, movies that have managed to go 50+ without ditching the legendary themes that helped cement them in our minds as the film classics that they are.

Like many people, I grew attached to those themes and have come to associate them as aspects of the characters they were written for.

Sure, there were occasional moments in time when the themes were cast aside for a movie or 2, but at the end of the day they would always come back somewhere down the line.

Gears of War 2 and 3 were both composed by Steve Jablonsky.

While I’m probably wrong, my gut tells me that Epic contracted his services likely due to a combination of their incredible financial success with Gears 1, as well as Jablonsky’s newfound mainstream fame due to his involvement in the live-action Transformers film.

Maybe it’s just me, but in picturing a bunch of newly wealthy videogame nerds getting geared up for their big sequel, I could honestly see them ditching their in-house composer in favor of succumbing to their own dorkiness and hiring “The Transformers Guy” on a whim.

I’m sure that’s not how it actually went down, but I have my suspicions…

Anyway, while Jablonsky did a terrific job with the franchise following Riepl’s departure, in truth I kind of wish he hadn’t ejected the original theme music in favor of his own take on it.

Give it a listen and see what you think:

I would never consider this theme to be anything less than “good,” but there’s just something about it that feels “weaker” and less engaging.

Don’t get me wrong, Jablonsky’s a great composer, but there are just some elements to the style of his militaristic soundtracks that rub me the wrong way.

While it could just be me still being bitter over the complete and utter failure of Transformers 2 and 3 in living up to the even the slightest of expectations, in general I’ve found his work on those movies, as well as the Gears series; to be somewhat pretentious and/or melodramatic.

Maybe it’s just me, but I feel both the Gears and Transformers franchises tried way too hard to insert unwarranted emotion and drama into stories that were truly devoid of any.

I prefer my Gears minus the extra helping of “Dom and Maria” thank you very much.

Dom and Maria: A plot device that allows for many instances of Dom related emo-ness masked as "emotional masculinity."

Back to Jablonsky.

He does a wonderful job of creating a mood and a “feel” to the music in such a way that it seems to fit the “texture” of the imagery it is meant to be played over, but his incessant use of choirs and Dark Knight/Inception style droning really feels a bit overbearing to me.

His soundtrack or Gears 2 was solid, especially in terms of the action cues, but far inferior to the original in terms of the overall strength and memorability of it’s themes.

While I haven’t played the game as of yet, in listening to the soundtrack for Gears 3, I can honestly say I like it better than the second.

Check it out:

The choirs are less, uh, “manly,” such that the music is much more graceful/lyrical, and less like a rehash of the droning Decepticons theme from the Transformers films.

Even so, despite vastly improving his theme for the game, I still maintain that the Jablonsky theme of Gears 3 is inferior to Riepl’s original.

I acknowledge that Jablonsky’s compositions are quite good overall, and that I very likely could just be being a sourpuss about all this; but in my opinion they should have never changed composers.

Filed under: Games, Movies, 2, 3, 360, composer, Dom and Maria, Epic Games, game, Gears of War, Godzilla, Hans Zimmer, Inception, James Bond, Kevin Riepl, music, Steve Jablonsky, The Dark Knight, theme, Transformers, videogame, Xbox

Attending Midnight Innistrad Release Draft

So, my friend invited me to a Innistrad release party tonight at Greenlake Games.

In case you couldn’t tell, that last sentence was both a “topic” sentence, and a plug for the fantastic local business, Greenlake Games.

*AHEM!*:

GREENLAKE GAMES.

There, now they can’t say I never did anything for them…

*ANYWAY* My interest in Magic, as well as my playing ability; doesn’t even amount to what I’d call “casual,” but for whatever reason, I’m going.

That’s right.

I’m going to go hang out with a bunch of uber-dorks at a card shop, at midnight, simply because my friend asked me to.

Though the fact that I’m bored and honestly have nothing else to do probably factors in a little bit too…

That being said, my bowels are presently suffering from some mighty tremors in the Force, so here’s hoping I can manage the brutal task of sitting for several hours without shitting myself.

Fingers crossed for my bowels, and for me not catching uber-dork cooties.

Lord knows my finances probably couldn’t survive supporting both a comic book, and Magic habit…

Filed under: Games, Uncategorized, Azn Badger, blog, draft, Greenlake Games, Innistrad, Magic, release, The Gathering

So… Larry Merchant’s A Meme Now.

Pictured: The picture that launched a meme.

Seriously?

Of all the stupid fucking bullshit that could call attention to boxing in the mainstream media, THIS is what’s responsible?

I mean it’s cool an’ all, the idea of the perpetually curmudgeonly and grandfatherly Larry Merchant talking back to one of this generations greatest fighters; but even so, I would hardly consider it worthy of being a “thing.”

While I’m on the topic, whoever started the meme that is the mainstream use of the word “meme,” is an asshole that will very likely have a place in future encyclopedia articles regarding “The Collapse of Western Civilization.”

As a lifelong fan, any news, no matter how trivial/stupid, of boxing making waves in the mainstream is good for the sport.

In a perfect world, news of good fights, or exceptional fighters would be sufficient to qualify as “news-worthy,” but sadly, in this day and age; we need to rely on stupid bullshit like Uncle Larry cussing out “Money” Mayweather to get any sort of publicity for boxing.

At many points in my life, I’ve found myself putting my head between my legs and muttering to myself:

“Why couldn’t I have grown up being a football fan?  It would be so much easier…”

Boxing doesn’t have seasons or teams.

Thanks to the lucrative nature of pay-per-view and the alphabet soup of rankings and belt commissions, big fights are virtually impossible to see without paying out the nose.

And if you’re like me, and are from the Pacific Northwest, you don’t have any big name fighters to represent your city, state, or continental region.

Sure, we had a few greats, like Freddie Steele and Greg Haugen, but nowadays we lose pretty much all of the “would be” talent to MMA, ’cause, well; that’s just how it is these days.

Needless to say, where I’m from, “Did you see the fight last night?” is one of those phrases that just doesn’t compute with most people.

If this incident snags boxing a few more fans, that’s terrific.

Just don’t expect me to put up with you if you try to reach out and talk boxing with me and bring up Larry Merchant and Mayweather’s little tiff as you’re opening topic.

To that I’d probably say:

“Yeah that was kind of funny, you do realize there was a fight that night, right?”

That being said, while I’m happy boxing and my boy Larry Merchant are having their (mostly undesired) moment in the sun, I’ll be a lot happier when the buzz dies down and we can get back to business.

Filed under: Boxing, boxing, Floyd Mayweather, Freddie Steele, Greg Haugen, interview, Larry Merchant, meme, stupid, Victor Ortiz

Remember The Gobbledy Gooker?

While nowhere near as shockingly pathetic as the debut of The Shockmaster, the Gobbledy Gooker’s tragically over-hyped appearance at Survivor Series 1990 was nevertheless one of the dumbest and most pointless events in WWF history.

You see, unlike with WCW’s use of The Shockmaster, who was merely supposed to be a surprise tag partner, a one-time replacement for Road Warrior Animal; the WWF truly dug themselves into a ditch full of shit.

For several months preceding the Survivor Series pay-per-view, the WWF would routinely wheel out a float carrying what appeared to be a giant egg.

As is customary for oddball publicity stunts like this in wrestling, Gorilla Monsoon and the other commentators would totally lose their shit over the sight of this egg, sensationalizing it and generally making it sound like the most important event in human history.

Despite the ultimate pay-off, Monsoon and the other commentators deserve all the credit in the world for trying their damndest to make something of it.

Anyway, after months of build-up, the egg finally hatched at Survivor Series (staged on Thanksgiving Day) following 5 minutes of top-notch lead-in from Mean Gene Okerlund.

What emerged from the egg, was a foul (or is that, “fowl?”) beast that looked like the illegitimate offspring of Big Bird and Marjory the trash heap from Fraggle Rock.

You wanna' give your kids nightmares? Make 'em watch Fraggle Rock...

Said monstrosity, was dubbed The Gobbledy Gooker.

Curiously enough, the Gooker was portrayed by Hector Guerrero, a capable wrestler of the Guerrero clan.

Despite his in-ring ability, Guerrero would complete this segment of the show by hopping into the squared circle and lamely dancing arm-in-arm with Mean Gene.

Whether it be due to the complete and utter lack of crowd reaction, positive or negative, at the appearance of the Gooker, or the inherent absurdity of the concept; the WWF would go on to unceremoniously drop and bury the character until Wrestlemania X-Seven (one of the best Wrestlemanias) where he would re-emerge to take part in a surprisingly entertaining 19-man Gimmick Battle Royale:

Filed under: Movies, Uncategorized, Wrestling, Big Bird, Fraggle Rock, Gobbledy Gooker, Gorilla Monsoon, Hector Guerrero, Marjory, Mean Gene Okerlund, Survivor Series, The Shockmaster, trash, Turkey, WCW, Wrestlemania, wrestling, WWF, X Seven