Azn Badger's Blog

What About the Lysine Contingency…?

And Now, Serpentor Making A Fool Of Himself.

Yeeeeeaaaah…… So, Serpentor was kind of lame.

In case you don’t remember, Serpentor was the self-proclaimed emperor of the villainous Cobra faction in GI Joe.

Intended to be a replacement for the comically inept Cobra Commander, Serpentor was created from the DNA of countless great conquerors and rulers throughout history.

This had the unfortunate side-effect of giving him a strange tendency to speak almost exclusively in “commands,” leading to rampant use of the phrase “This, I Command!”

As you might’ve guessed, this could get annoying, and more than a little tedious at times:

Anyway, we should probably move on to explaining the retarded-ness of the clip at the top of this post.

Despite what you might think, the clip of Serpentor screaming “Cobra-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!” is actually taken directly from the GI Joe movie.

I’m not kidding.

That means Serpentor’s voice actor, Richard Gautier; was asked to come into the studio, and yell “Cobra-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!” into the microphone, most likely for a half an hour straight.

All I can say is, I hope he got paid.

As dumb as that seems, (and sounds) it’s perhaps even sadder to think that the whole “Cobra-la” thing sounds eerily like a riff on the now infamous Arabic battle cry:

A cheap laugh, but a good one nonetheless.

Anyway, you know what I mean.

I have no way of confirming my suspicions, but due to the US and Middle Eastern tensions of the day, (Sgt. Slaughter was only a few years away from his dramatic heel-turn) I’d assume this was the case.

That being said, I always thought this was really fucking stupid.

Here’s hoping you agree with me.

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Filed under: Movies, Uncategorized, Wrestling, , , , , , ,

Remember When Hulk Hogan Got Raped By A Mummy?

Ah, The Dungeon of Doom.

Few other stables in wrestling have produced as many fail-tastic gimmicks, and absolutely horrid matches as The Dungeon of Doom.

Created in the pre-NWO era, The Dungeon was WCW gaggle of supervillain-esque heels that feuded with Hulk Hogan on and off for about 2 years.

While I’m guessing they were supposed to be a legitimate threat, they really came across as the Cobra to Hogan’s G.I. Joe.

Well actually, given the kind of magical/supernatural bent that they had for a lot of the characters, it’d probably be more accurate to call them the Skeletor to Hogan’s He-Man.

Despite this, it’s funny to look back on The Dungeon and think of some of the (decent) name wrestlers that passed through it’s toxic halls.

For example, Lex Luger, Jimmy Hart, The Giant and Meng the Merciless all did a tour with The Dungeon and look how they turned out.

Well, at least The Big Show went on to to greener pastures…

The point is, The Dungeon could’ve been better had their matches and storylines been booked better.

And if they didn’t let Brutus Beefcake do his whole “Zodiac” thing:

Jesus fuck that was some stupid-ass shit…

Anyway, let’s talk about the clip at the top of this post:

I can’t recall the actual context of it, but from what I can tell, The Giant had Hogan in a bearhug, and then “The Yeti” arrived and decided to join in and help out…

Oh boy, you know it’s bad when they have a guy clearly dressed as a mummy, that they decide to name The Yeti.

Or is that “Yeh-Tay?”

I honestly couldn’t tell based on how the announcer kept FUCKING UP the pronunciation.

Either due to his lack of in-ring ability, or due to his love for insta-tanned man-butt, The Yet then proceeded to embrace Hogan from behind, thereby sandwiching him between himself and The Giant; and then vigorously gyrate and thrust his hips in a suggestive manner.

To their credit, the announcing team continually make claims that “This could be the end of Hulkamania” to reassure the audience of the urgency of the situation, but even so; we all know what was goin’ on…

Filed under: Movies, Uncategorized, Wrestling, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Holy Schnikes! 25,000 Hits!

Quite possibly the finest image I've ever produced...

Greetings true believers!

Yesterday was the first day I invited a guest contributor to post on this blog.

Yesterday was also the first day my blog ever scored more than 450 hits.

Not only that, today the Azn Badger’s blog was fortunate to score over 3,000 hits.

… So am I to understand that my blog’s best days are the one’s in which the Azn Badger let’s someone else do the writing?

Ouch.

… Nah, I’m just Joshin’ yah’, I’m happy as a clam!

Thank you Mencius, for you contribution, and more importantly; your promotional efforts.

The success of this blog would be 3,000 something hits less without you.

Anyway, hope you like my Stallone/Ultimate Warrior mural.

I assure you, it was crafted with pure love.

Oh yeah, and Photoshop…

I’m not about to make any promises for what the future holds for this blog, (I learned my lesson about 15,000 hits ago…) however I will say that a potential podcast is definitely in the works, as well as maybe a stupid homemade action movie or 2!

That being said, thank you for your readership, expect more fun and insanity in the days to come.

Until tomorrow folks!

Excelsior!

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