Azn Badger's Blog

What About the Lysine Contingency…?

Remember When Hulk Hogan Got Raped By A Mummy?

Ah, The Dungeon of Doom.

Few other stables in wrestling have produced as many fail-tastic gimmicks, and absolutely horrid matches as The Dungeon of Doom.

Created in the pre-NWO era, The Dungeon was WCW gaggle of supervillain-esque heels that feuded with Hulk Hogan on and off for about 2 years.

While I’m guessing they were supposed to be a legitimate threat, they really came across as the Cobra to Hogan’s G.I. Joe.

Well actually, given the kind of magical/supernatural bent that they had for a lot of the characters, it’d probably be more accurate to call them the Skeletor to Hogan’s He-Man.

Despite this, it’s funny to look back on The Dungeon and think of some of the (decent) name wrestlers that passed through it’s toxic halls.

For example, Lex Luger, Jimmy Hart, The Giant and Meng the Merciless all did a tour with The Dungeon and look how they turned out.

Well, at least The Big Show went on to to greener pastures…

The point is, The Dungeon could’ve been better had their matches and storylines been booked better.

And if they didn’t let Brutus Beefcake do his whole “Zodiac” thing:

Jesus fuck that was some stupid-ass shit…

Anyway, let’s talk about the clip at the top of this post:

I can’t recall the actual context of it, but from what I can tell, The Giant had Hogan in a bearhug, and then “The Yeti” arrived and decided to join in and help out…

Oh boy, you know it’s bad when they have a guy clearly dressed as a mummy, that they decide to name The Yeti.

Or is that “Yeh-Tay?”

I honestly couldn’t tell based on how the announcer kept FUCKING UP the pronunciation.

Either due to his lack of in-ring ability, or due to his love for insta-tanned man-butt, The Yet then proceeded to embrace Hogan from behind, thereby sandwiching him between himself and The Giant; and then vigorously gyrate and thrust his hips in a suggestive manner.

To their credit, the announcing team continually make claims that “This could be the end of Hulkamania” to reassure the audience of the urgency of the situation, but even so; we all know what was goin’ on…

Filed under: Movies, Uncategorized, Wrestling, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Remember “The Fingerpoke of Doom?”

Not just the name of perhaps the coolest offensive maneuvers in all of combat, “The Fingerpoke of Doom” also happens to be the nickname for one of wrestling’s defining moments.

While the clip above shows the “poke” aspect of “The Fingerpoke of Doom,” in order to discover the real weight behind the incident; one has to dig a little deeper into history.

“The Fingerpoke of Doom” is remembered as the most visible turning point in the ratings war between WCW and the WWF.

The actual “poke” was meant to serve as a transitional moment in WCW’s NWO/Wolfpac storylines, serving as a symbolic truce between the 2 faction leaders; however the real meat of the incident actually came in the form of an announcement made later on the same broadcast.

Basically, WCW took advantage of a script leak from the WWF, and used this knowledge to try and sabotage the WWF’s rating through revealing the results to a major match ahead of time.

Unfortunately, this ploy ended up blowing up in Ted Turner’s face, as it resulted in a huge number of WCW viewers changing the channel to watch the WWF!

This of course resulted in the steady decline of WCW’s ratings, (and production quality) and ultimately; it’s acquisition by the WWF.

History bullshit aside, “The Fingerpoke of Doom” is a prime example of truly horrendous booking at it’s worst.

More than that though, it’s a really fuckin’ awesome phrase that I feel proud to have command of.

Filed under: Uncategorized, Wrestling, , , , , , , , , , , ,

Remember When David Arquette Won The WCW Title?

Yeah, that actually happened.

Even during the Monday Night Wars, I always kind of thought of WCW as the AAA to the WWF’s major league.

Don’t get me wrong, my brother and I definitely flipped back and forth between RAW and Nitro during commercial breaks, but in terms of the quality of the storylines and announcing; Vince McMahon’s crew were light years ahead of Turner’s boys.

The one saving grace of WCW, besides the nostalgia factor of seeing the old dogs work the mic and not wrestle except on pay-per-views; was the huge roster of high-flyers and cruiserweights.

It’s easy to forget, what with all the NWO and Raven’s Nest bullshit in between, but Eddie Guerrero, Juventud Guerrera, Rey Mysterio Jr., Psicosis, Jushin Liger, and even Ultimo Dragon put on some awesome matches for WCW.

To this day, I still think back on the cruiserweight matches of WCW as being some of the best displays of athleticism and technical skill I’ve ever seen in wrestling.

It makes me sad that the WWF has decided to make the aging Rey Mysterio their one and only Luchador, likely in an attempt to elevate his status with the fans and make him seem more talented.

How you could ever think having less Lucha Libre guys in your roster would be better for the business is seriously beyond me, but I guess that’s why I’m unemployed and McMahon’s throwing money into making the XFL and getting his wife into the U.S. senate.

Anyway, I seem to have depressed myself.

Time to go watch some Tiger Mask

Filed under: Uncategorized, Wrestling, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Donate