Azn Badger's Blog

What About the Lysine Contingency…?

Remember When Hulk Hogan Got Raped By A Mummy?

Ah, The Dungeon of Doom.

Few other stables in wrestling have produced as many fail-tastic gimmicks, and absolutely horrid matches as The Dungeon of Doom.

Created in the pre-NWO era, The Dungeon was WCW gaggle of supervillain-esque heels that feuded with Hulk Hogan on and off for about 2 years.

While I’m guessing they were supposed to be a legitimate threat, they really came across as the Cobra to Hogan’s G.I. Joe.

Well actually, given the kind of magical/supernatural bent that they had for a lot of the characters, it’d probably be more accurate to call them the Skeletor to Hogan’s He-Man.

Despite this, it’s funny to look back on The Dungeon and think of some of the (decent) name wrestlers that passed through it’s toxic halls.

For example, Lex Luger, Jimmy Hart, The Giant and Meng the Merciless all did a tour with The Dungeon and look how they turned out.

Well, at least The Big Show went on to to greener pastures…

The point is, The Dungeon could’ve been better had their matches and storylines been booked better.

And if they didn’t let Brutus Beefcake do his whole “Zodiac” thing:

Jesus fuck that was some stupid-ass shit…

Anyway, let’s talk about the clip at the top of this post:

I can’t recall the actual context of it, but from what I can tell, The Giant had Hogan in a bearhug, and then “The Yeti” arrived and decided to join in and help out…

Oh boy, you know it’s bad when they have a guy clearly dressed as a mummy, that they decide to name The Yeti.

Or is that “Yeh-Tay?”

I honestly couldn’t tell based on how the announcer kept FUCKING UP the pronunciation.

Either due to his lack of in-ring ability, or due to his love for insta-tanned man-butt, The Yet then proceeded to embrace Hogan from behind, thereby sandwiching him between himself and The Giant; and then vigorously gyrate and thrust his hips in a suggestive manner.

To their credit, the announcing team continually make claims that “This could be the end of Hulkamania” to reassure the audience of the urgency of the situation, but even so; we all know what was goin’ on…

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Remember When Brock Superplexed The Big Show?

For as much shit as I give Brock Lesnar, I have to admit, the clip above is easily one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen in wrestling.

Hogan scoop slammed Andre.

Goldberg jackhammered The Giant.

Hell, even that worthless pile of merch’ shilling dumb fuckery, John Cena; F U-ed the Big Show and Edge at the same time.

But at the end of the day, only Brock Lesnar superplexed the Big Show and destroyed THE ENTIRE FUCKING RING in the process.

I’ve seen guys get chokeslammed through the mat before, but this is a whole ‘nother thing altogether.

Usually, when holes get put in the mat, or any sort of damage is incurred on the ring in general; you can plainly tell that the incident was scripted in some way, usually through the use of a trap door/pre-fabricated hole.

When I watch this clip, it’s hard to make a case for it being scripted or planned in any way.

For one thing, I don’t think this was actually the last match booked for the evening in which it aired; making it completely unrealistic to consider the organization having originally planned to destroy the ring before the show was over.

Also, listening to Tazz, a semi-professional commentator scream “HOLY SHIT!” at the top of his lungs, it seems to me that his reaction was likely that of genuine surprise.

Regardless of whether this incident was scripted or not, it brings me unconscionable amounts of joy just knowing that a moment like this exists in the world of wrestling.

If ever there was video evidence to convince the Big Show to lay off the Taco Bell, this would have to be it…

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Remember When Goldberg Jackhammered The Giant?

*Note: I’m aware the clip above isn’t from the first time this happened in WCW, however in my eyes it’s the best executed Jackhammer Goldberg ever did to The Giant.*

When I was young, I really bought into the Goldberg hype machine.

I dug the fact that he had an undefeated streak.

I dug his over-the-top theme music.

More than anything though, I really dug his wrestling style and the way he’d utterly obliterate most of his opponents.

He was the borderline mute and utterly unstoppable force of late 90’s wrestling, and by golly; he was damn good at it.

It’s a shame his acting ability never really measured up to his wrestling prowess, as I remember my childhood perception of him getting knocked down a peg or 2 by his appearance in the utterly craptacular Universal Soldier: The Return.

Oh well, at least his appearance in the Megadeth music video produced for the movie was good for a laugh, what with his repeated mouthing of the words “Crush ’em” into the camera and…… No, that’s actually all he did:

It’s funny, as dumb as it is, I actually happen to like this song quite a bit.

To this day it still surprises me that MTV aired the video for it as much as they did.

Even more surprising was how many times I actually sat through it…

Anyway, watching Goldberg Jackhammer The Giant was one of the cooler moments in wrestling moments that I ever got to witness on live television, so I figured I would share it with all of you.

In case you couldn’t tell, I’m a little starved for writing inspiration at the moment…. And have been for the past few weeks now.

In that sense I apologize for the “memory lane” posts about dumb wrestling, but frankly it’s all I’ve got in me at the moment.

Hopefully I’ll get my act together sooner rather than later.

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