Azn Badger's Blog

What About the Lysine Contingency…?

And Now, Jim Ross Attempting To Be A Heel, And Failing Miserably Due To Sheer Awesomeness.

To this day, Jim Ross remains perhaps the single greatest wrestling commentator of all time.

Gorilla Monsoon was excellent, as was Vince McMahon and, to a lesser degree, Jesse “The Body” Ventura; but for my money Jim Ross remains the best I’ve ever heard.

That being said, his most iconic role has always remained that of the straight laced and technically oriented commentator, though there have been a few instances in his career in which he was tasked with playing a rowdy heel.

The video above serves as a prime example of his demeanor during one of said instances.

The problem with his heel performances however, at least for me anyway, is the fact that he’s just so goddamn awesome on the mic, that even when he’s screaming at the audience, he remains 100% likeable.

Seriously, the man could cuss me out, or condemn me and everyone in my family straight to hell, and I’d still find a way to like him.

That being said, I was never a fan of the heel version of Jim Ross, and I’m happy it’s appearances in wrestling were scarce.

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Remember The Gobbledy Gooker?


While nowhere near as shockingly pathetic as the debut of The Shockmaster, the Gobbledy Gooker’s tragically over-hyped appearance at Survivor Series 1990 was nevertheless one of the dumbest and most pointless events in WWF history.

You see, unlike with WCW’s use of The Shockmaster, who was merely supposed to be a surprise tag partner, a one-time replacement for Road Warrior Animal; the WWF truly dug themselves into a ditch full of shit.

For several months preceding the Survivor Series pay-per-view, the WWF would routinely wheel out a float carrying what appeared to be a giant egg.

As is customary for oddball publicity stunts like this in wrestling, Gorilla Monsoon and the other commentators would totally lose their shit over the sight of this egg, sensationalizing it and generally making it sound like the most important event in human history.

Despite the ultimate pay-off, Monsoon and the other commentators deserve all the credit in the world for trying their damndest to make something of it.

Anyway, after months of build-up, the egg finally hatched at Survivor Series (staged on Thanksgiving Day) following 5 minutes of top-notch lead-in from Mean Gene Okerlund.

What emerged from the egg, was a foul (or is that, “fowl?”) beast that looked like the illegitimate offspring of Big Bird and Marjory the trash heap from Fraggle Rock.

You wanna' give your kids nightmares? Make 'em watch Fraggle Rock...

Said monstrosity, was dubbed The Gobbledy Gooker.

Curiously enough, the Gooker was portrayed by Hector Guerrero, a capable wrestler of the Guerrero clan.

Despite his in-ring ability, Guerrero would complete this segment of the show by hopping into the squared circle and lamely dancing arm-in-arm with Mean Gene.

Whether it be due to the complete and utter lack of crowd reaction, positive or negative, at the appearance of the Gooker, or the inherent absurdity of the concept; the WWF would go on to unceremoniously drop and bury the character until Wrestlemania X-Seven (one of the best Wrestlemanias) where he would re-emerge to take part in a surprisingly entertaining 19-man Gimmick Battle Royale:

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