Azn Badger's Blog

What About the Lysine Contingency…?

Peak Season: DEFEATED. Cue Celebratory Farley Clip.

Well folks, the Azn Badger’s peak season adventure at Amazon has officially wrapped.

Well, my peak season anyway; I’m sure there’s a shit ton of people from other shifts that still have to work, but I’m done, and frankly that’s the only thing that matters.

Anyway, here’s hoping I don’t get laid off in the next few weeks!

If I do, it’s probably for the best, being as I honestly don’t feel like living out the rest of my days using my 4 year arts degree to boast the honor of being a “professional box maker.”

Also, I suppose the $3.50 (each way) toll that’s going to start applying to my commute across the 5-20 bridge every day, would also serve as a reason to celebrate my termination at Amazon.

Anyway, with the completion of another blistering, though atypically only 40 hour work week; I present to you this week’s celebratory Farley clip:
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/player.swf

Filed under: Movies, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

A Celebratory Farley Clip

Pictured: A comic genius.

Today was supposed to be the busiest day of the year at the Amazon.com warehouse.

I can attest the truth in this statement, as I was placed in freezer detail not once, but twice today.

Needless to say, at the moment I am tired, beat up, and intensely bitter.

Hopefully I can muster the energy required to do all of my Christmas shopping tomorrow…

Regardless, in celebration of my day off tomorrow, here is a clip of another one of my favorite Chris Farley skits:

Filed under: Movies, Uncategorized, Wrestling, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Azn Badger = Hypocrite

The Azn Badger has been feeling a little hypocritical as of late.

Despite my general disdain for the UFC/MMA culture, I’ve found myself playing the demo for UFC: Undisputed 2010 pretty much every day this week.

I know, I know:

“How can a hardcore boxing fan that talks shit about the UFC all the time allow himself to support the organization by playing it’s official videogame!?”

Well, A): I’ve never had anything bad to say about the actual sport of MMA, only the culture and obnoxious fanbase that seems to have sprung up as a result of it’s ascension into the mainstream.

Sorry to beat a dead horse, but...

And B): Chill out, dick wad.  It’s just a videogame, and a fairly good one at that.

To be fair, I used to play the previous iteration of the game with my roommates for shits and giggles.

Only 1 out of the 3 of us (the one with legitimate interest in the UFC) actually took the time to learn how to play, so for the most part the matches boiled down to little more than button mashing sessions not unlike a round of Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots.

"AND IT'S ALLLLLLLLLLLL OVERRRRR!!!!!!!"

At the time, I used to watch a fair amount of UFC, usually in support B.J. Benn, (he’s a Hawaiian pro athlete, therefore he’s worth my time) as well as for the social value it presented in me in hanging out with my roommate.

Though I no longer have roommates to play games or watch cagefighting with, for some reason I feel like I’m mentally in just about the same place that I was back then.

That is to say:

I’m not exactly the most cerebral of people these days.

I would probably shit myself with glee if I had one of those bubble thingies right now...

As with most things these days, I blame work; as it has retarded my brain functions to the point of making games like Undisputed 2010 seem like the coolest ever made, and dare I say; potentially worth buying.

Did you hear that?

That was the sound of Hell freezing over.

While I still don’t have a clue how to play the demo properly, (the command list in the options screen is like 50 pages long) the pick up and play factor has been a godsend in terms of keeping me sane this week.

I don’t know if it’s just the 60 hour work weeks or what, but I just can’t seem to find time for more involved games like Batman: Arkham Asylum.

I want to finish Batman, but for whatever reason I just feel “too busy” to play it.

Batman: Great for Azn Badger on 3 day weekends, too "smart" for him during 60 hour work weeks.

UFC gives me an experience that can be over and done with inside of 5 minutes.

While I’ve never been one to seek out instant gratification in my games, (if it’s any indication, Demon’s Souls was my 2nd PS3 game) at this point in time, I think it’s the only kind of gaming entertainment I can handle.

Though I’m legitimately excited to try games like Valkyria Chronicles, games that require a high-degree of time investment and involvement from the player; the more hours I put in at work, the less I see myself being able to fully enjoy a game like that.

In my current mental state, I'd probably just try and bumrush my way through every mission...

Anyway, I’m beat to shit, (anus still recovering…) so that’s all I’ve got for tonight.

Chances are I’ll pick up UFC at some point, though I assure I’ll do so grudgingly, and while mumbling under my breath that boxing is the superior and more gentlemanly sport.

Unfortunately the new Fight Night Champion doesn’t come out until next year, so for now I’m going with UFC.

Either that or Splatterhouse, ’cause Splatterhouse was the shit back in the day, and from what I’ve read; the new one ain’t so bad.

Plus it’s bloody as fuck and probably as cerebral as your average UFC fan.

Haha!  BURN.

Filed under: Boxing, Games, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Azn Badger’s One Day Weekend Itinerary

Azn Badger got hit by truck… Truck was from company called “Wreck Your Shit Co.” Driver was named “Fatigue McRagealot.”

  1. Have looked like bum for some time now…  Shave and haircut = Priority.
  2. Tabemonos*….
  3. Beat Batman: Arkham Asylum.  Was knocking on the Joker’s door last time I played the game… A week ago… Will beat insane clown’s ass and complete game with all Riddler whatchamacallits acquired.
  4. Squander potential purchase of cheap Christmas gift in favor of using 40% off Borders coupon on comic book for self.  Azn Badger works hard, he deserves to be selfish every once and awhile…
  5. Tabemonos*…
  6. Watch shitty movie I’ve already seen 50 million times, only this time watch it on Blu Ray.
  7. Hang out with Mencius.  But only for awhile…  Azn Badger too tired to deal with people…
  8. Tabemonos* while watching Guy Fieri stuff his fat, greasy face for the 50 millionth time.  Thankfully, not in HD.
  9. WRITE FUCKING BLOG.
  10. Watch Amir Khan vs. Marcos Maidana, and Timothy Bradley vs. Devon Alexander on the HBO with the old man.  Khan’ll probably box circles around Maidana, but like they say; Maidana always has a puncher’s chance… Here’s hoping he puts the Brit to sleep, and Bradley ekes out another victory…  The Azn Badger also happens to be an Irish Badger, so hatred of Brits is to be expected…
  11. Attempt nocturnal activity known in most circles as “sleep.”  Most likely fail…

 

What the fuck did I do to my can? I tried to open it and the, uh, "opener thingy" bent all funny...

*Tabemono: Japanese word for “edible object.”  Pronounced Tah-Bei-Mo-No, though in this case the term is pluralized in the English manner of adding an “s” sound for the sake of cheap laughs.  My roommate and I used to do a lot of stupid shit like this to keep ourselves busy…

Filed under: Boxing, Games, Movies, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Tommy Boy Makes The Pain Go Away…

Thank you Farley, for putting a smile on my face today. Really needed it...

I’d like to think of myself as a fairly resolute person.

I approach things with a “get it done” attitude, and rarely find myself deterred by whatever obstacles lie in my path.

Hell, I’ve been writing this blog every day for the past 200+ days, so I’d say I’m a pretty steadfast individual.

That being said, I think working at the Amazon.com warehouse has finally broken my “get it done” attitude, and taken a chunk of my soul along with it.

As well as the feeling in both of my big toes, which mysteriously have decided to stop, well, feeling much of anything these days.

Working 60 hour weeks in a highly repetitious, and fairly physical job is something I would not advise to anyone, even the horribly destitute.

At best it’s boring and tiring.

At worst, it’s boring, tiring, cold to the point of being physically painful, and packed to the brim with corporate red-tape that usually ends up requiring you to slow down while every manager around you is yelling at you to speed up.

I know it sounds like I’m just whining right now, which is pretty much true; but I really don’t like the self that I’m bringing home from work every evening.

10 hours of work, followed by an hour and a half in traffic leave me pretty much a husk of a person, running off fumes of intense anger and fatigue.

Seriously, ever since I started working at Amazon, particularly now during the peak season; I find myself to be pissed off, tired, or a combination of both at all times, even on my so called “weekends.”

A “weekend” is not one day at the end of the work week.

That’s just an annoying pause between work days that tricks your body into going into rest mode, effectively turning you to Jell-O for the following work day.

Oh yeah, and psychologically you can’t enjoy that “weekend” because of the mental prep and early bedtime necessitated by said impending work day.

See what I mean about the anger?

Anyway, I’ve always maintained that this blog was never meant to be a journal, nor an emo pity-party posting bulletin board; so I think for both our sakes I’ll stop now.

To lift the spirits of myself and everyone who just read this unfortunate post, here’s a clip of perhaps my favorite scene in the classic of Farley cinema, Tommy Boy:

Filed under: Movies, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Holy Fucking Shit, It’s A Dinosaur.

You’ll have to forgive my laziness, as after spending 2 hours on the freeway just to get home from work; I really just can’t summon the strength to write anything clever or remotely interesting this evening.

Anyway, hopefully you enjoyed the video above, as I’ve found it always puts a smile on my face whenever I watch it.

Hopefully tomorrow I’ll get around to posting the Top 5 Jackie Chan Songs That Keep The Azn Badger From Stabbing People for yah’.

Such passion! How could anyone not like him?

Regardless, sorry for the retarded/non-existent post.

Thanks for dropping by!

Filed under: Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Taking A Break…

Pictured: Azn Badger after an O'Doul's....

Taking a break from Time Crisis stuff for today.

Those last two posts ended up being a little bit more involved than I was hoping, and as a result; really kicked my ass.

Needless to say, I’m a little fatigued and am devoid of inspiration at the moment.

I’m thinking about trying to do vlogs or video posts as a means of giving me a break from writing every now and again.

Unfortunately, I don’t really have the best equipment to work with, so it may end up being more trouble than it’s worth.

Either way, a friend of mine (the same friend I beat Super Mario Bros. with) and I have gotten into the habit of trying to “beast” an NES game or two whenever we hang out together.

“Beasting” apparently refers to beating or otherwise making a bitch of someone or something.

Dr. Frasier "Beast" Crane, at your service!

I know it sounds dirty, but so far we’ve “beasted” Super Mario Bros. Cabal, and Ninja Gaiden.

Off the top of my head, some games I think I’d like to “beast” for you guys would be:

Mega Man 2

Best in the series...

Ninja Gaiden 2: The Dark Sword of Chaos

WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING HARD!!!? ANSWER ME!!!!

and Captain Bucky O’Hare.

If you missed it as a kid, don't ask me to explain it to you...

Ninja Gaiden 2 in particular strikes a chord with me, as I recently played the actual cart off of my NES, and sometime during the second segment of the final stage, the game crashed.

That pissed me off.  A little.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure Ninja Gaiden 2 is gonna’ be the first to be “beasted” on camera, though Bucky O’Hare was a truly great game that few people remember, so chances are it’ll be a lot of fun to run through for you guys.

Please feel free to post your comments or suggestions for video or post material, as I’m starting to run out of steam and could definitely use a pick-me-up.

Thanks a bunch, see you tomorrow for more Time Crisis business.

Filed under: Games, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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