I should’ve known something was up when I won that Zune yesterday.
As they say, “nothing in life comes free,” and wouldn’t you know it, I ended up paying for a Bill Gate’s take on Jobs’ Ipod with my health and safety.
That’s right folks, after months of slogging it out in the warehouse, the Azn Badger has finally succumbed to the horrors of “wrist strain.”
Hah, had you thinkin’ I got impaled by a forklift or some shit, didn’t I?
You see, today was one of those weird days where everything was almost absurdly slow, to the point in which many people were sent home early.
Despite this, as per the Amazon routine, the last 3 hours of the day were absolute balls to the wall insanity of last minute orders, cancellations, and diapers, lots and lots of diapers…
Being as I am now the resident whipping boy (I’m apparently subbing in for my friend who was laid off not too long ago) of the warehouse, I was of course scheduled to ship during said 3 hours of mayhem and chaos.
With about 2 and a half shipping lines worth of volume bearing down on me, not to mention the hoard of shit-for-brains seasonal workers constantly breathing down my neck with priority packages for me, (DON’T JUST SHOW IT TO ME, LEAVE IT IN THE GODDAMN TOTE ASS-HAT) I think it’s safe to say I was rushing just a bit.
With time being very much of the essence, I found myself reaching back at odd angles to snag packages off the line, which after 2 hours or so; began to ’cause me quite a bit of discomfort.
During the last 30 minutes of the day, I was told to go meander the aisles and pick inventory for the night shift, y’know; like yah’ do.
With barely 15 minutes left in the day I planted my feet and turned my very full picking cart into the main aisle to return it to the staging area, when all of a sudden I felt this “pop” in my wrist.
I felt a sharp pain, stopped in my tracks, and said aloud to myself:
“Oh man, that can’t be good.”
Sure enough, the next time I tried lifting something, a small hardback book; I felt an annoying tinge of pain in my wrist.
Following that, I reported my injury to my manager, as per company regulations; and then got sent off to the nurse’s office just like in elementary school.
Although thankfully I was vomiting or bleeding from my nose like I used to back in the day.
Yeah, the Azn Badger was kind of a sickly child way back when…
Anyway, I mentioned that this all happened in the last few minutes of the work day, right?
Well, as it turns out, getting a case of “wrist strain” at Amazon necessitates an hour long visit with the nurse filling out paperwork and talking over symptoms and treatments.
Now, while I kind of wish it hadn’t taken quite so long, I was honestly quite surprised to learn that my time spent in there counted as being on the clock.
Huh, now that I think of it, maybe getting hurt wasn’t all that bad.
The injury itself is minor at best, plus I just earned 10 bucks for sitting down and having a pleasant conversation with the silly nurse lady. (She’s silly, so I call her the silly nurse lady. Tee hee.)
Anyway, sorry for the lame post; but be thankful you even got one.
I’m taking this “rehabilitation” crap pretty seriously, to the point in which this entire 600+ word post was written using just my right hand.
That’s dedication…
Filed under: Uncategorized, 16 GB, Bill Gates, doh, HD, Homer Simpson, hurt, injury, James L. Brooks, Matt Groening, Nurse, office, ouch, pain, Steve Jobs, strain, stupid, The Simpsons, Touch, work, work related injury, wrist, Zune
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