Azn Badger's Blog

What About the Lysine Contingency…?

B-Hop Loses Title Via 2nd Round Bodyslam

Pictured: Bernard Hopkins getting tapped on the chin by a jab from Chad Dawson.

I know the phrase gets tossed around by ignorant fans all too often these days, but I’ve gotta’ say it:

Jesus-fuck man, boxing’s in trouble.

As of last night, we now have 2 consecutive pay-per-view events ending via bizarre, and wholly dissatisfying circumstances.

Last time it was Floyd Mayweather sucker punching an thoroughly unprepared and unnervingly bipolar Victor Ortiz.

Every time I see this, I hear Manny Steward in my head going "Aw..........."

This time, it’s Bernard Hopkins sustaining a shoulder injury via an accidental throw at the hands of Chad Dawson, resulting a questionable TKO that will likely be overturned within the next few weeks.

While Manny Pacquiao will always draw a huge audience, particularly among the Filipino demographic, with so many boxing main events degenerating into disappointing circus-like tomfoolery, it’s hard to say whether his rubber match with Juan Manuel Marquez will be able to generate significant interest with the UFC heavyweight title match being aired on public television during the same time slot.

For a life long boxing fan like me, this is a no-brainer, but for many other typical fans of “combat sports,” it’s hard for me to see people turning down a free event over a pay one, especially given the high-profile nature of the UFC bout.

....As well as the "bro-ey" nature of most UFC fans.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m as excited as the next guy for Pacquiao Marquez III, in fact probably more so; but it’s hard for me to picture Marquez getting his sea legs at Welterweight overnight.

That’s a topic for a different day though.

Getting back to the matter at hand, the B-Hop and Dawson fight lasted around 5 minutes, and from the looks of it, Dawson was likely going to coast to a decision victory.

B-Hop’s one of my favorite fighters, and I’d watch him fight even if he was in a wheelchair, but from the looks of things with Dawson, I didn’t see the same spark that I did in his fights with Jean Pascal.

His feet were flat, there was little spring in his step, and oddly enough; he looked stiff to me.

B-Hop doesn’t get stiff.

The old adage in boxing, is that when it comes to old age, your legs are the first thing to go.

I hate to say it, as we only got to see him for less than 2 rounds last night, neither of which he seemed to lose by more than a slim margin; but I feel like this sadly might be the last time we see B-Hop in the ring.

From what I could tell from the footage, the “bodyslam” that occurred in the 2nd round was the fault of neither man.

B-Hop charged in to clinch, Dawson ducked, and while B-Hop leaned on his back, Dawson stood up, or at most, shrugged; resulting in the old man getting lifted off his feet.

Pictured: B-Hop goin' for a ride.

Slipping off of Dawson’s back, B-Hop fell to the canvas and jammed his elbow, sending force up his arm; resulting in what doctors reports are now confirming as a dislocated shoulder.

Given B-Hop’s advanced age, it’s hard to see him recovering from an injury like that in time for another go in the ring to be feasible, hence my concern over the fact that this garbage-ass fight/debacle might be the last time we see The Executioner in action.

For whatever reason, referee Pat Russell declared “no foul” on Hopkins’ spill to the canvas, thereby ruling his inability to continue a TKO for boxing.

Now, I don’t mean to question the merits of a professional referee, but frankly; my understanding of the rules of boxing had me picturing the fight as either a technical draw on the grounds of no “boxing maneuver” being utilized to acquire the victory, or a no contest on account of the bout having ended before 4-5 rounds could be scored on the cards.

Pictured: B-Hop seen in a rare light: On the canvas.

That’s just me though.

In any case, the fight looked like it was well on it’s way to becoming the chessmatch it was foreseen as.

No significant punches were landed, but Dawson’s quickness and reach seemed to be the sort that could give B-Hop fits.

Despite everything I said about B-Hop’s legs looking kind of sluggish, the man is very much a late round fighter; so it’s entirely believable that he could’ve pushed Dawson to mentally check out the same way he did against Jean Pascal.

Unfortunately, the boxing Gods were not smiling last night, so we’re left instead with yet another oddity for the hall of disappointments and weird-ass decisions.

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Remember That One Time Benoit Spazzed The Fuck Out On The Mat?

Oh wait… He did that pretty much every night.

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In A Wholly Expected Circumstance Of Fate, Something Bad Happened At Work Today!

I should’ve known something was up when I won that Zune yesterday.

As they say, “nothing in life comes free,” and wouldn’t you know it, I ended up paying for a Bill Gate’s take on Jobs’ Ipod with my health and safety.

That’s right folks, after months of slogging it out in the warehouse, the Azn Badger has finally succumbed to the horrors of “wrist strain.”

Hah, had you thinkin’ I got impaled by a forklift or some shit, didn’t I?

You see, today was one of those weird days where everything was almost absurdly slow, to the point in which many people were sent home early.

Despite this, as per the Amazon routine, the last 3 hours of the day were absolute balls to the wall insanity of last minute orders, cancellations, and diapers, lots and lots of diapers…

Being as I am now the resident whipping boy (I’m apparently subbing in for my friend who was laid off not too long ago) of the warehouse, I was of course scheduled to ship during said 3 hours of mayhem and chaos.

With about 2 and a half shipping lines worth of volume bearing down on me, not to mention the hoard of shit-for-brains seasonal workers constantly breathing down my neck with priority packages for me, (DON’T JUST SHOW IT TO ME, LEAVE IT IN THE GODDAMN TOTE ASS-HAT) I think it’s safe to say I was rushing just a bit.

With time being very much of the essence, I found myself reaching back at odd angles to snag packages off the line, which after 2 hours or so; began to ’cause me quite a bit of discomfort.

During the last 30 minutes of the day, I was told to go meander the aisles and pick inventory for the night shift, y’know; like yah’ do.

With barely 15 minutes left in the day I planted my feet and turned my very full picking cart into the main aisle to return it to the staging area, when all of a sudden I felt this “pop” in my wrist.

I felt a sharp pain, stopped in my tracks, and said aloud to myself:

“Oh man, that can’t be good.”

Sure enough, the next time I tried lifting something, a small hardback book; I felt an annoying tinge of pain in my wrist.

Following that, I reported my injury to my manager, as per company regulations; and then got sent off to the nurse’s office just like in elementary school.

Although thankfully I was vomiting or bleeding from my nose like I used to back in the day.

Yeah, the Azn Badger was kind of a sickly child way back when…

Anyway, I mentioned that this all happened in the last few minutes of the work day, right?

Well, as it turns out, getting a case of “wrist strain” at Amazon necessitates an hour long visit with the nurse filling out paperwork and talking over symptoms and treatments.

Now, while I kind of wish it hadn’t taken quite so long, I was honestly quite surprised to learn that my time spent in there counted as being on the clock.

Huh, now that I think of it, maybe getting hurt wasn’t all that bad.

The injury itself is minor at best, plus I just earned 10 bucks for sitting down and having a pleasant conversation with the silly nurse lady. (She’s silly, so I call her the silly nurse lady.¬† Tee hee.)

Anyway, sorry for the lame post; but be thankful you even got one.

I’m taking this “rehabilitation” crap pretty seriously, to the point in which this entire 600+ word post was written using just my right hand.

That’s dedication…

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