Azn Badger's Blog

What About the Lysine Contingency…?

The Ending Of Poltergeist 2: Out Of Context

Do you remember Poltergeist 2?

I do, but mostly just because it’s the only movie I know that has a listing in it’s credits for a role known as the “Vomit Creature.”

Pictured: Craig T. Nelson's son. The one he doesn't talk about....

That scene, and that scene alone, puts Poltergeist 2 on my “good” list.

Well, for the most part anyway…

I’ve heard it doesn’t have the best reputation among fans of the original, but in my eyes I view it as a (mostly) worthy successor.

At least until the bizarre and painfully rushed climax sequence you see above.

While I’m not exactly what you’d call a fan of the series, the excellent photo chemical effects and puppetry of the Poltergeist movies has always made me regard them as extremely “watchable.”

In many ways, the Poltergeist movies could be classified as horror films, however I’ve always thought of them as little more than particularly intense eye candy films.

Honestly, the plots and characterization in all 3 of them is mostly inconsequential, not to mention copied and pasted from film to film, so at the end of the day it’s the atmosphere and the constant stream of visual gags that make up the majority of the experience.

For people such as myself that are more fascinated by horrific makeup effects and special effects sequences than, well, horrified by them; the Poltergeist movies are almost entirely devoid of scares, but packed to the brim with awesome sights and sounds.

A not so awesome sight: Tom Skerrit and Nancy Allen's crappy 80's hair.

This fact is no more evident in the Poltergeist movies than in the 2nd film, as the plot is probably the weakest in the series overall, not to mention during it’s conclusion, the storytelling takes a MAJOR turn for the ludicrous.

We’re talkin’ magical grandma ludicrous.

At the very end, all subtlety, tact, and reason are thrown out the window and into oncoming traffic in favor special effects of a goofy ass H.R. Giger manufactured special effects spectacle.

No foolin’, that creepy looking ghost with faces on it (that looks more than a little like a log of shit) really was designed by H.R. Giger.

From what I remember seeing in a documentary about the Poltergeist films, and how they have a habit of killing the people who work on them, this visually impressive, but borderline silly climax sequence was likely thrown together due to the fact that the actor who played the villain, Julian Beck; actually passed away before completing his role.

As a result, some of his lines were dubbed, and I’m guessing the monster puppet version of the character was inserted into to the climax scene to fill in for him.

While it’s not really visible in the puppet’s earlier scenes, f you look close, there’s at least one shot of a face on the creature’s torso that is clearly modeled after Beck.

Despite the fact that the goofiness of the ending sequence may have come as a result of an actor’s death or a troubled production, the fact remains that it’s horrendously rushed, sloppily anticlimactic, and embarrassingly melodramatic, in that order.

Seriously man, you could probably count on one hand the number of minutes that pass between the time when the family enters and exits the cave.

That being said, as I ruminated on it, it occurred to me that, not only is the ending of Poltergeist 2 fucking absurd, what with Craig T. Nelson’s random shining spear of Holy justice, as well as “deus ex machina grandma” saving the day, it’s also downright impossible to understand without the proper context.

If anyone here is seeing this clip for the first time, please, write a comment to let the rest of us know what you thought of it.

On that note, I’ll leave you all with a clip of the legendary “Vomit Creature” scene as performed by some guy (that was probably a little person) named Noble Craig:

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Filed under: Movies, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Remember When Mae Young Gave Birth To A Hand?


As terrific as it was, it’s hard to deny that The Attitude Era of the WWF had it’s ups and downs.

As great as things could be, for every Rock and Austin, there was a Steven Richards and a Test.

That being said, Mae Young giving birth to what many presume was some sort of malformed hand; fits into the timeline as being closer to a “WTF? Moment” than anything else.

Unlike many of the moments, I’ve compiled on this blog over the past several months, this was one that I actually got to see when it aired.

At the time, The Fabulous Moolah and her associate, Mae Young; a pair of female wrestlers from the 40’s and 50’s, had begun appearing in WWF storylines with surprising degree of regularity.

Much like seemingly every network sitcom every made, Moolah and Mae Young were cast as “hip” old ladies.

Damn you Robin Williams for popularizing the concept of a "hip hop" Granny!

Moolah took on the role of the straight woman, while Mae was her perverted sidekick with a dirty mind.

On numerous occasions, Mae made passes at a number of the WWF wrestling crew; and even took it upon herself to crash a bikini expo at the Royal Rumble, taking off her top in the middle of the ring.

It was spectacle I would like to say I didn’t witness on live pay-per-view, but unfortunately; I did… And it wasn’t pretty.

Anyway, “The Hand Birthing” scene came as a result of a storyline involving Mae Young’s romantic affiliation with Mark Henry AKA Sexual Chocolate.

"We goin' FUCK. NOW."

I honestly don’t remember how the relationship came about, but the point; in the storyline the 400 lbs. Mark Henry was supposedly fucking the very old, and very frail Mae Young.

Somehow, some way, this resulted in Ms. Young not breaking her hip or being snapped in half; but in becoming pregnant with Mark Henry’s chocolate love child.

After they milked the storyline for all it was worth, the whole thing came to a head when Mae Young was rushed backstage to delivery the “baby.”

Dirty whore that she was, I’ll never forget when Mae called a halt to the delivery process, demanding to light up one of the biggest cigars I’ve ever seen in my life.

... I stand corrected.

Anyway, as you probably saw in the clip above; Mae Young ultimately gave birth to a rubber hand slathered in pink goo.

It was dumb, it was more than a little weird; but it was a product of a time when I could still proudly say I watched wrestling every week.

Considering how God awful wrestling has been in the past few years, I’d give a lot to go back to the days of Mae Young pooping out rubber hands.

Filed under: Wrestling, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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