Azn Badger's Blog

What About the Lysine Contingency…?

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Demon’s Souls: Conquered

*Ahem!* I win...

*WARNING! SPOILER ALERT PERTAINING TO END GAME EVENTS.  NO SPECIFICS, BUT IF YOU REALLY WANT THE END-GAME TO BE A SURPRISE, TURN BACK NOW!*

Last night was easily one of the worst of my life.

Don’t expect this to happen on this blog all too often, but I’m sorry to say that my experience of being stuck in a snowy traffic jam in the Seattle area for 6 hours straight was horrible to the point in which I don’t think I want to share the details.

Seriously, it was that bad.

Anyway, as a result of getting home from work at around 11:30 PM, as well has having my body be a complete wreck as a result of the harsh cold and tight confines of my car, I decided that I simply could not allow myself to go to work today.

Despite this, Amazon saw fit to penalize me for doing so; even going so far as to call me in the morning to chastise me for my actions.

Though I love buying products the company, working for Amazon gives me an insight into the inner workings of their ground-level management that really leave a bad taste in my mouth.

Oh well, it’s a job, and that’s more than a lot of people have at the moment, so I’m thankful.

Moving on, as any self-respecting survivor of a 6 hour traffic jam would do, I decided to use my self-enforced day off from work to play Demon’s Souls.

No way was I gonna’ go outside today, even to pick up a copy of The Expendables.

I’ll do that tomorrow…

*Ahem!* Anyway, in short; I managed to beat Demon’s Souls today.

Much like the rest of the game’s limited story sequences, the end of the game was quite flat, and very much anti-climactic.

Truth be told, it had been so long since I had started the game (just over 20 hours of game time) that I honestly didn’t even remember who the last boss was, or why I was fighting him for that matter.

In either case, the last boss was pathetic.

Like, “he couldn’t hit me if he tried,” pathetic.

On one level, this was quite disappointing, as many of the earlier boss fights in the game were quite epic, and fairly inspired in how the actual battles were carried out.

At the same time though, as I recall bits and pieces of the supposed “story” of Demon’s Souls, (seriously, there’s not much to be found) I’m starting to understand that the final boss of the game was supposed to be a pitiful creature, to the point where it’s ironic that it serves as the game’s final challenge.

Demon’s Souls was an excellent game.

While it indeed has flaws, as pretty much any game does; it benefits from an indefinable element in it’s gameplay and presentation, a “hook” that serves to draw in a certain demographic of gamers.

As it turns out, I fit pretty well into that particular category of gamer, as I enjoyed my time with Demon’s Souls.

In regards to it’s vaunted, and supposedly impenetrable difficulty level, I have this to say:

The game is indeed quite difficult, but only if you’re bull-headed and refuse to adhere to the “rules” of the game.

The gameplay of Demon’s Souls is methodical and rigid, meaning the game is difficult; but everything has a rhythm and a weakness, so it’s up to you the player to determine these factors before charging headlong into things.

Hell, I game in practically reverse order, resulting in most of the enemies being far too powerful for me to handle most of the time, and yet in the end, I managed to get past them all through careful planning and observation.

As you play Demon’s Souls, just remind yourself:

The game is challenging, not unfair.

If you get pissed and break your controller when you die in a game, then I’m sorry, Demon’s Souls is probably not for you.

Seriously, controllers are what, $50?

You’d be bankrupt in a week.

If however, you take every death in the game as a sign of your own failings, an indication that you could’ve played better or smarter, then chances are you’ll have a lot of fun with Demon’s Souls.

Now that I’m done with my little advertisement for the game, I feel I should take a moment to talk about some of the random things that stuck out to me in my first playthrough of Demon’s Souls:

I was a little upset at the very limited selection of armors I ran across in the game.

While it’s probably my fault moreso than the game’s, I found that as a Knight, I only ended up changing my armor maybe twice throughout the entirety of the game.

Maybe it’s just because I selected a Knight, who just happens to start out with some the better starting equipment, but I felt myself getting bored of constantly finding new weapons and equipment, but never finding an armor that was good enough to switch over to.

Seriously man, I ended up beating the game wearing Mirdan armor, something the Temple Knight starts the game out with if I recall.

To me, that’s the equivalent of watching a version of the Iron Man movie where Tony Stark remains in the original Iron Man suit throughout the entire movie.

That’s that just plain sad.

Another quick thing, from a gameplay standpoint, those fuckin’ dragons were truly fucking pathetic.

Seriously man, they’re not enemies, or bosses for that matter, they’re fuckin’ scenery.

Destructible scenery that can, and will; wreck your shit 20 times before you figure out how to get past them.

I found one of those dragons on a list of 2009’s worst boss fights, and I can honestly say, whoever wrote that list is certainly justified in doing so.

Don’t ask me how I found the patience to actually kill those motherfuckers, but I did; and that’s largely the reason why I’m writing this “I beat Demon’s Souls, quick everyone, suck my golden cock!” article today instead of a week ago.

Seriously man, that traffic jam last night might’ve taken 6 hours of my life, but I’ll be damned if those dragons didn’t take at least an hour between the 2 of them.

Other than that, I think that’s about all I’ve got to say about Demon’s Souls for now.

Now that I’m done with the game, I think I’m gonna’ move on to something radically different.

With Metal Gear Solid 4 as my first PS3 game, followed by Demon’s Souls, I think it’s time I played something besides a 3rd person action game.

My gut is telling me to try Valkyria Chronicles, but I’m also leaning towards something a little more mindless like UFC: Undisputed 2010 (*Gasp!* but Azn Badger, I thought you hated the UFC!?).

At the same time though, who knows; maybe I’ll surprise even myself and hop back on the Final Fantasy wagon, of which I’ve been off ever since VIII.

There’s a lot of great games out there for the PS3, old and new; so feel free to let me know what I should look into.

Anyway, happy snow day to me; hopefully everyone drove safe this evening!

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Action Coach Seattle: Wrong Kind of Action, Wrong Kind of Coach…

On my drive home from work this evening, I happened to catch sight of a new business just a few blocks from my home.

The small, unassuming sign hung above the building was laeled “Action Coach Seattle.”

Being as I am an action movie enthusiast, my hopeful young mind immediately conjured up images of a safety mat and training dummy filled stunt school.

Think of that one scene a lot of James Bond movies where Q shows up and he and 007 take a stroll through a chaotic training/gadget room while casually slinging deadpan humor back and forth.

That’s the kind of imagery I had swimming around in my head as I drove past Action Coach Seattle.

What’s more, I also happened to notice that the sign had a date for a meet and greet in the near future, getting me anxious for all of the future possibilities the place might have in store for someone like me.

For the 3 minutes or so, I drove home with feelings of hope and excitement stirring in my heart.

I thought:

“Man, I should go home and work out!”

“Tonight I should have tuna, cabbage and rice, that always makes me feel energized!”

“Should I start running again?”

Then I got home and actually visited the Action Coach Seattle website.

In an instant, all of my ambition, and all of my practical, realistic goal-oriented energy went straight down the shitter.

It’s a business coaching service.

Action Coach Seattle, is a training/motivational service, for small businesses.

I suppose it’s better than a bunch of “social media experts” moving ino the neighborhood, but even so; business coaching is a far cry from balls-out, fighting/stunt training for Hollywood hopefuls!

*Sigh* Oh well, we can’t always get what we want…

I’m just glad this all took place over the course of a few minutes, otherwise I would’ve gone nuts busting my ass to be in great shape for the open house, and no doubt would’ve ruined my daily performance at work.

I guess I’ll just have to stick to making stupid action movies with my friends the best way I know how…

Badly, and without the proper planning.

Filed under: Kung Fu, Movies, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , ,

Crazy Orange Sun!

Goddamn angry sun from Mario 3... Killin' me n'shit...

Let it be known, this is not a “slice of life” kind of blog.

I’m not one of those sensitive photographer/poet/musician types that strives to find beauty in the mundane elements of our daily lives.

It's a fucking, BAG.

I started this blog because I wanted to entertain you, the reader; and myself at the same time.

That being said, let today be the one day that I take to share something with you guys that I thought was, well, just plain neat.

I don’t know how many of you live in the Seattle area, but all day today, the sun was shining bright orange.

I mean like, “Orange Drank” soda, orange.

Wow, variety...

Anyway, from when I woke up at 9 AM, the whole sky was overcast, and yet bathed in this orange light.

It was beautiful, but somehow unsettling.

The intensity of the sun was so low that, for the first time I could remember, I could stare right at it without any sort of discomfort.

It was crazy, even the shadows on the sidewalk were orange.

I’ve never seen the sun that way before, so I decided to record a handful of clips with my Ipod while I was running home from the mall.

Anyway, here’s the video:

If anyone knows why the sun was so orange today in Seattle, please leave a comment, as I’d sincerely like to know.

I haven’t done any research into the matter as of yet, but my dad mentioned something about there be fires in the area, which may have thrown some dust into the atmosphere or something.

Anyway, don’t expect too many artistic/lazy writing posts like this in the future.

Don’t worry, we’ll be back on videogames and movies before yah’ know it…

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