Azn Badger's Blog

What About the Lysine Contingency…?

And Now, The Azn Badger Reenacting Rocky IV.


So, I recently bought myself a Canon ELPH 300 HS AKA “The Default Blogger’s Camera.”

I purchased said camera in hopes of using it for an upcoming video project, however in the meantime, I figured I’d have a little fun with it and test out it’s features.

As you can clearly see, it comes with a nifty slow-mo capture mode, a feature that has proven useful for making a fool of myself with.

Anyway, hope you all enjoyed my little experiment!

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Filed under: Movies, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , ,

Remember That One Time Arnold Schwarzenegger Bitch-Slapped Triple H?

It’s funny, unlike a lot of other moments in wrestling that have graced this page, I honestly can’t recall the context of this clip.

Based on the physical conditioning of both Arnold and the wrestlers, I’d say this happened in the early 2000’s, meaning Arnold was likely there to promote End of Days, The 6th Day, or maybe even Collateral Damage.

In any case, as is the norm during guest appearances on wrestling, Arnold got a chance to bust a head or 2.

That being said, in an odd triple-threat match between the waste of flesh known as Test, The Rock, and Triple H, Arnold apparently had an axe to grind with Triple H.

Why he decided Test was less deserving of his wrath than Triple H is entirely beyond me, as we all know Test was a sack of fuck who’s talent consisted of being tall, Canadian and, uh, blond.

... And apparently he's also dead. Sorry, Test fans!

Anyway, during the match Arnold attempts to do commentary on the proceedings, only managing to sound like a drunk Austrian gorilla in the process.

See below for example of said rantings:

At some point, Arnold finds that the carnage and brutality of the in-ring antics is not up to his MANLY standards, causing him to throw a steel chair into the ring; seemingly just for shits and giggles.

I suppose you could make a case for Arnold having intended for Stone Cold (the guest referee) to use to the chair, but I choose not to believe that.

I prefer my Arnold sadistic and douchey.

DOING IT WRONG.

Following several chair shots and much mayhem and chaos, Triple H approaches the announcer’s table and takes a swing at Arnold!

Using his awesome skills in the field of, uh, leaning away from punches 5 seconds before their thrown, Arnold then proceeds to counter with the mightiest of MANLY strikes, a BITCH SLAP across Triple H’s bearded face!

Belting the master of “Suck It” to the floor, Arnold then proceeds to mount Triple H’s chest and punch his ass into submission.

Most celebrity guests on wrestling are lucky to get in a punch, let alone a sloppy tackle, but Arnold being Arnold, he got a chair shot by proxy, a bitch slap, and a whole mess of punches.

I love it…

Filed under: Movies, Uncategorized, Wrestling, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Remember When Mae Young Gave Birth To A Hand?


As terrific as it was, it’s hard to deny that The Attitude Era of the WWF had it’s ups and downs.

As great as things could be, for every Rock and Austin, there was a Steven Richards and a Test.

That being said, Mae Young giving birth to what many presume was some sort of malformed hand; fits into the timeline as being closer to a “WTF? Moment” than anything else.

Unlike many of the moments, I’ve compiled on this blog over the past several months, this was one that I actually got to see when it aired.

At the time, The Fabulous Moolah and her associate, Mae Young; a pair of female wrestlers from the 40’s and 50’s, had begun appearing in WWF storylines with surprising degree of regularity.

Much like seemingly every network sitcom every made, Moolah and Mae Young were cast as “hip” old ladies.

Damn you Robin Williams for popularizing the concept of a "hip hop" Granny!

Moolah took on the role of the straight woman, while Mae was her perverted sidekick with a dirty mind.

On numerous occasions, Mae made passes at a number of the WWF wrestling crew; and even took it upon herself to crash a bikini expo at the Royal Rumble, taking off her top in the middle of the ring.

It was spectacle I would like to say I didn’t witness on live pay-per-view, but unfortunately; I did… And it wasn’t pretty.

Anyway, “The Hand Birthing” scene came as a result of a storyline involving Mae Young’s romantic affiliation with Mark Henry AKA Sexual Chocolate.

"We goin' FUCK. NOW."

I honestly don’t remember how the relationship came about, but the point; in the storyline the 400 lbs. Mark Henry was supposedly fucking the very old, and very frail Mae Young.

Somehow, some way, this resulted in Ms. Young not breaking her hip or being snapped in half; but in becoming pregnant with Mark Henry’s chocolate love child.

After they milked the storyline for all it was worth, the whole thing came to a head when Mae Young was rushed backstage to delivery the “baby.”

Dirty whore that she was, I’ll never forget when Mae called a halt to the delivery process, demanding to light up one of the biggest cigars I’ve ever seen in my life.

... I stand corrected.

Anyway, as you probably saw in the clip above; Mae Young ultimately gave birth to a rubber hand slathered in pink goo.

It was dumb, it was more than a little weird; but it was a product of a time when I could still proudly say I watched wrestling every week.

Considering how God awful wrestling has been in the past few years, I’d give a lot to go back to the days of Mae Young pooping out rubber hands.

Filed under: Wrestling, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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