Azn Badger's Blog

What About the Lysine Contingency…?

Remember When Vince Russo Ran WCW Into The Ground?

The above clip was a moment of wrestling history that I was not fortunate to have seen live, but one that affected me in my youth nonetheless.

Actually, it wasn’t really this moment specifically, but rather the era in which it took place in as a whole.

It was the year 2000, and the modern generation of WCW had pretty much run it’s course.

All through the 90’s, my brother and I had spent our Monday evenings clicking back and forth between WCW and the WWF, but by 2000; it became increasingly apparent that WCW was rapidly losing it’s audience.

Many reasons have been cited as to the cause of WCW’s demise, though most would agree that poor management and booking were chief among them.

Despite boasting an immensely talented roster of wrestlers that were often capable of outperforming the WWF stable, the most visible reasons WCW failed; at least to me, were the fact that the writing was vastly inferior, and there were far too many older, big name wrestlers that were being paid too much to do too little.

Seriously man, as much publicity and brand recognition as guys like Hulk Hogan can bring you, at the end of the day if they take the biggest paycheck and only wrestle once a month; it’s probably not gonna’ be worth your while to rely on them to sell your program.

That being said, one of the other commonly known elements of FAIL that contributed to WCW’s downfall, was a booker named Vince Russo.

Formerly in the WWF’s employ, Vince Russo is regarded as having been instrumental in the rise of the WWF during the Attitude Era with his chaotic and consumately MTV/Jerry Springer-style of writing.

Despite bringing the same “edginess” of his WWF writing to WCW, for whatever reason; it just didn’t work.

Under Russo, character arcs moved uncomfortably fast, titles changed frequently to the point of making them irrelevant, and to top it all off; David Arquette was given the opportunity to own the world title, however briefly.

To this day, I STILL don't know how he became famous...

For those keeping score, that last part is regarded as one of the darker moments in wrestling history.

Anyway, the clip above is from Bash at the Beach 2000 in which Jeff Jarrett lays down before Hulk Hogan, resulting in Hogan cussing out Russo and the WCW as a whole for their insolence.

From what I understand, this whole operation was basically a sloppy means to remove Hogan from the company due to his excessive  price tag.

It worked, but not without the instigation of a few FCC violations.

Apparently, Hogan refused to lose the aforementioned match against Jarrett, (I don’t blame him. Jeff Jarrett’s a piece of shit.) ordering a rewrite as per a creative control clause in his contract.

Anyway, after Hogan’s blow-up, Russo would surprise everyone by coming out and proceeding deliver his own profanity ridden, unscripted promo:

That’s what I call professionalism!

While Hulk Hogan did in fact get the boot from WCW, this silly wildly over-the-top gesture proved to be for naught, as WCW would end up folding within the next year.

Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

Now, for something stupid:

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Filed under: Movies, Uncategorized, Wrestling, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Top 10 Best Overkills in Movies, #10: The Punisher (2004)

“Overkill.”

In my book, overkill in movies specifically refers to an instance in which one particular individual is killed until they die from it to the point of utter absurdity.

In other words, if the general audience reaction isn’t on par with this:

Then it probably doesn’t qualify as overkill.

That being said, this new  series of posts is going to dedicated to presenting you people with the Top 10 Best Overkills in movie history.

First on our list, is the relatively tame, but good enough for a #10 spot comic book action flick: The Punisher.

CLICK HERE FOR CLIP – For the overkill in question, skip to 3:45.

Okay, so the setup for this scene, is that this blond, Tobin Bell lookin’ mother fucker got in The Punisher’s way when he was trying to rescue his wife and son, and so by the time we reach the end of the movie, and The Punisher has in fact become THE PUNISHER, he’s definitely got an itch to get this Arian piece of fuck back for what he did.

Being as this dude is in fact an “ugly henchman,” with a brain roughly the size of a walnut, he of course makes the brilliant tactical decision to enter in the combat by shooting The Punisher IN HIS KEVLAR VEST not once, but twice.

Seriously, at point blank range he doesn’t even think to maybe aim for head at least once?

Anyway, The Punisher of course; isn’t happy about this, so he promptly socks the blond dude in the face, grabs hold of the shotgun, and uses it to blow the dude’s foot off.

Yup that's the face I make too when I lose a foot...

A nice start, but I think ‘ole Frank can do better…

With that, The Punisher bashes the blond dude’s head against the wall, and then the 2 go into one of those awkward, not quite strangling, not quite grappling, manly groping sessions.

Before things can get too fruity though, The Punisher decides to reinforce his heterosexuality by grabbing hold of the blond dude’s arm, and wrenching it out of place.

Yeah, pretty sure your arm isn't supposed to bend that way...

With the blond dude’s face now permanently locked in a comical expression of over-the-top pain, and half of his limbs pretty much immobilized, The Punisher takes this opportunity to take a step back and get a little creative with his overkill.

For seemingly no reason other than to by himself some time to think up a pimp-ass way to fatally, uh, “punish” the sad sack piece of fuck standing before him, The Punisher pins the dude’s arm to his own hip, and then stabs a knife through the guy’s palm.

You know that knife game Bishop played in Aliens? Well, this guy wasn't very good at that game...

This of course causes the blond piece of fuck to make just about the goofiest face imaginable:

That's a direct quote by the way.

With the dude now goofy faced, lacking mobility in half of his extremities, and stuck with his hand on his hip like a pissed off mother, The Punisher is finally struck with the inspiration he needs to complete his masterpiece of overkill-ery.

Feeling an urge keep things going with his knife motif, The Punisher then removes the knife from the dude’s palm/hip, and then rams it up underneath the dude’s jaw, through his tongue, and into his brain.

Yeeouch! That'd kill yah'!

With his tapestry of overkill-ery finally complete, The Punisher leaves the blond dude to make gurgling noises and slide down the wall as he stomps off to chase Babe Ruth’s single season homerun record, kill John Travolta, blow up giant sharks, squish giant spiders, and fuck middle-aged women with his massive dong.

Oh wait, that’s Thomas Jane’s career.

Anyway, that’s the first overkill of our Top 10 list folks.

I’ll probably catch some flack over this one because it wasn’t particularly bloody, or even graphic for that matter, but think of it this way:

We watched The Punisher kill this blond bastard for 30 whole seconds.

This was not a 30 second fight, this was 30 seconds straight of one dude, killin’ another dude.

If that’s not an overkill, then I don’t know what is.

Filed under: Comics, Movies, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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