Azn Badger's Blog

What About the Lysine Contingency…?

Remember “Gillberg?”

Before I get started, I figure I should give credit where credit’s due and thank my brother for reminding me of this retarded episode in wrestling history.

Anyway, for those who are unaware, the puny and borderline mentally deficient individual you see marching down the ramp in the clip above is professional wrestler Duane Gill AKA Gillberg.

Throughout his career, Duane Gill belonged to a special fraternity in the wrestling industry that is referred to that of the “enhancement talent.”

That is to say, his mission upon stepping into the ring, was to put other wrestlers over, to lose to them and enhance their image in the process.

Operating in numerous tag teams and as a soloist under his real name, Gill served as a staple of the WWF’s jobber division throughout the 90’s, even getting drafted into The J.O.B. Squad, a stable made up entirely of talented jobbers such as Hardcore Holly and Al Snow.

During this time, The J.O.B. Squad members all achieved a certain level of notoriety, leading to Hardcore Holly being given his own faction in the form of a team-up with Crash and Molly Holly, Al Snow being shoveled gimmicky storyline after gimmicky storyline in an attempt to somehow keep him relevant, not the least of which being that one time he fought himself in a hardcore match.

That was awesome by the way.

Duane Gill however, at least for a brief moment in time, went on to bigger and better things.

In 1997, WCW introduced to the world a wrestler that was arguably the only superstar the organization ever raised from the ground up under Eric Bischoff and Vince Russo.

That man, was Bill Goldberg.

Just so we’re clear, that was awesome.

In short, during his prime, Goldberg was the hottest thing going in WCW.

He was an unstoppable force that went undefeated in 173 consecutive matches, a marketing angle that has rarely been attempted, let alone successfully.

In response to Goldberg’s popularity, the WWF decided to create a puny parody of the character in the form of casting Duane Gill as “Gillberg.”

As you might have guessed from the clip at the top of this post, Gillberg was a total fucking joke.

His entrance laughably mocked every aspect of Goldberg’s right down to the sparklers and fire extinguishers in place of legitimate pyrotechnics.

His wrestling style could be described as “squirrel-y” at best.

Despite this, Duane Gill’s jobber skills made him fun to watch on occasion, largely due to the flexibility of his undersized frame.

Take a look here at his match with Essa Rios AKA “That One Talented Guy That Was Popular For About 5 minutes But Ultimately Became Overshadowed By His Escort, Lita“:

Both WCW and the WWF would create numerous parody characters of each other’s talent in a decidedly lowbrow attempt to chip away at their rival’s reputation, but in my eyes, Gillberg was one of the more successful attempts.

Week to week, Gillberg would come out, be pathetic, and make people laugh, however unlike WCW’s “Oklahoma,” Gillberg would do so without doing harm to anyone’s reputation.

He was a mockery of Goldberg, yes; but at the end of the day he was just a clown, plain and simple.

That being said, due largely in part to a lack of interest/competition in the Light Heavyweight division at the time, (these days it doesn’t even exist) Gillberg actually managed to acquire the Light Heavyweight Championship at one point.

Oddly enough, said lack of interest in the division resulted in Gillberg carrying the belt for well over a year, making him the longest reigning Light Heavyweight in WWF history.

So there you have it:

Gillberg, the pitiful jobber who was a joke from beginning to end, yet somehow managed to achieve a historic title reign.

Filed under: Uncategorized, Wrestling, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Remember When Stone Cold Stunned The Entire McMahon Clan?

This was a classic wrestling moment of the modern age that I’m very proud to say I got to see when it first aired.

At this point in time, Steve Austin was basically on his way out of the wrestling industry, such that this moment could be seen as one of his numerous last hurrahs in the WWF.

Stone Cold was a pivotal, if not the pivotal figure in the birth and ascension of the Attitude Era of wrestling that I was raised on, however in all honesty; he was never really a favorite of mine.

I liked his swagger and I admired his wrestling ability, however my allegiance to The Rock, a man whom Austin frequently feuded with; has basically been unwavering since day one.

Like I said, Austin was great for the organization, and a terrific wrestler to boot; but for whatever reason he just never appealed to me as much as some of the other guys out there.

I suppose it didn’t help when the guy adopted “WHAT!?”, perhaps the single most annoying and persistent catch phrase I can recall in recent memory; as his calling card.

Despite whatever problems I might have with Austin, I still watch his shitty direct to video movies out of principle.

I have a weakness for shit-ily titled movies starring former pro-wrestlers.

The clip at the top of this post represents perhaps the finest example of the WWF phenomena that was “Austin Stunning The McMahons.”

Vince McMahon and his family used to get Stunned pretty much twice a week, but the clip above represents perhaps the only instance when he managed to get each and every one of them consecutively in one segment.

Truth be told, he really should’ve Stunned Triple H (Stephanie McMahon’s husband) as well just for good measure; but oh well.

I think the best part of this segment, was the use of Austin’s signature beer toss throughout.

Even if you couldn’t give 2 shits about wrestling, it’s hard not to laugh at the sight of Austin getting progressively more and more drunk as he Stuns his way through the McMahon clan.

Also, it needs to be said that Linda McMahon’s reaction to the Stunner is perhaps the single worst sell of it I’ve ever seen.

The best selling of the Stunner of course belongs to The Rock:

Filed under: Movies, Uncategorized, Wrestling, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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