Azn Badger's Blog

What About the Lysine Contingency…?

More Snow!

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Yesterday’s Snow

We got a little bit of snow yesterday in Seattle, so me being me, I decided to film it.

At some point in the day, my mom asked me to go out and rent Moneyball for her.

While I’ve heard the movie is quite good, and well worth seeing, I’m guessing the snow was more responsible than anything for putting her in the mood to see it, as she’s one of those “can’t drive in the snow worth a damn” types.

So am I.

That being said, the video above documents my brief little adventure in the disappointingly slushy snow yesterday.

Filed under: Movies, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , ,

Eclipse FAIL

Pictured: A photo of the lunar eclipse taken by Adam Gray.

Believe it or not, I actually took the time to haul my ass out of bed at 6 AM this morning to see the lunar eclipse.

On any other day, I wouldn’t have bothered waking up early on a Saturday to witness a natural phenomenon, but for whatever reason; I really wanted to do it this time.

Despite staying up till about 2 AM watching The Jackal on TV, (a truly awesome movie) I set my alarm for 6, and said to myself:

“That eclipse is boutsta’ get seen goddamnit!”

Well, as fate would have it, despite basically getting no sleep, I didn’t get to see the eclipse.

At 6 AM, I grabbed my camera and ran around the house, checking all the windows for signs of a puke orange moon.

No moon.

No eclipse.

After about 15 minutes of confusion, (Who the fuck loses a moon? Honestly…) I threw on a coat and slipped on my dad’s oversized shoes to go clomping around the neighborhood in search of the moon.

Nearly 30 minutes went by as I walked through the chilly morning weather in my shorts, stalking the skies in search the AWOL Earthly satellite.

At some point I spotted a woman jogging alongside her dog.

I attempted to give chase for about 10 seconds before realizing:

A): I was wearing my dirty-ass khaki shorts.

B): I was wearing my dad’s big-ass shoes.

and C): I was about to ask a stranger if they knew where the fucking moon was.

Add it all up, and you have the potential for an incident that may or may not involve the unwarranted use of pepper spray and/or a rape whistle.

Following this, I took one last look up at the radioactive orange sky, and decided to call it quits.

No moon.

No eclipse.

That being said, I’ve heard that the eclipse was difficult to spot on the West coast this morning, so I went ahead and provided the above photo for those of you that were curious to see what it looked like.

Hopefully you all were more successful than I this morning.

Filed under: Movies, , , , , , , , , , ,

Went To First Thursday. Got Teleported…

Pictured: Me. Yah' dumbass...

I went to First Thursday with my buddy Mencius this evening.

It was alright.

At one of the galleries they had a webcam set up that let you take photos of yourself that looked like a cross between an audio level sensor, and a hacked Kinect display.

Anyway, I think the show was called Design Less Better.

It wasn’t great, but oh well, free photos.

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Used Game Store Grand Opening Today!

Pictured: My buddy posing with a Halo dude. No, I don't ACTUALLY know Wes Studi. One can dream though...

Today I was fortunate to have attended the grand opening of a new used game store in my neighborhood.

Technically it was actually re-opening of a currently existing store, but in all fairness the changes made to the building were extensive to the point of being a brand new facility.

The store was called Game Gurus, and to my surprise; they went out of their way to throw a little party for their grand opening.

There were free hot dogs and popcorn, 50 cent games for sale in the parking lot, (mostly crap, but even so, 50 cents for a 360 game is pretty good regardless) and a raffle giveaway every 10 minutes.

For what essentially amounts to a mom and pop videogame store, I was amazed by the great lengths that the owners went to in making a good first impression.

While I was mulling about in front of the store, rooting through the cheap games my friend and I, who shall henceforth be referred to as Wes Studi; happened to notice an enthusiastic fellow customer perusing the wares while wearing what appeared to be a ODST getup.

Wes Studi insisted I take a photo of the 2 of them together, and as you can see at the top of this post; I did just that.

For a guy that’s not really up on cosplay, I have to say; they guy had some pretty snazzy digs.

Seriously man, the guy had some sort of microphone system built into the helmet that made him sound all loud and bell diver-ish.

Anyway, as impressive as the outdoor festivities were, the actual store itself was something to behold.

Though the shelves and inventory were arranged much like a typical Gamestop, there were a lot of little bells and whistles in Game Gurus that will no doubt lead to the risk of theft; but were nevertheless enticing to potential customers like myself.

For instance, throughout the store there were several monitors hung from the ceilings, each with a playable game console and single controller hanging from the ceiling like a mobile.

I saw lots of people messing around with these demo rigs, and it put a smile on my face to see little kids stand on their tippy-toes to try and get a grip on the dangling controllers.

In addition to this, there was also free to play, 2 player MAME arcade rig with Street Fighter Alpha 2 loaded on it.

I played Wes Studi a few times, and though my joysticks’ kick buttons weren’t functioning, I had a lot of fun.

By the way, I won every round.

*ANYWAY* On our way out, Wes Studi and I also took a minute to check out the “back room” of the store, where they store not porn; but rather a cache of about 6 Xbox 360’s running Black Ops, Marvel vs. Capcom 3, and a few other shooters.

From what I understood, all of these rigs are free to play on the weekends, which in my opinion; is a great gesture to make the store out to be a neighborhood hang out for the kids.

Despite all the fun toys scattered about, the one thing that made me think to myself, “I might have to come back here sometime;” was the fact that the inventory was pretty solid.

While obscure consoles like the Turbografx 16 and Wonderswan weren’t on display, pretty much every major American console from the 8-bit era up was for sale, along with countless games to go with them.

Best of all, they had seemed to have a fairly robust selection of Super NES titles, with many of the rarer titles coming with their original packaging.

While I saw some extraordinarily rare stuff there, Wes Studi and I both ended up walking away with pretty basic stuff.

Having no job will do that to yah’…

Wes picked himself up a copy of Eternal Darkness, Mega Man X: Command Mission, and Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles, while I got Pitfall: The_Mayan_Adventure, Gradius III, and X-Men: Mutant Apocalypse at a special 2-for-1 price.

Nothing special, but I saved a few bucks and walked away happy regardless.

All in all, I was wholeheartedly impressed with all the love and hard work that obviously went into the new Game Gurus store.

I sincerely thank the owners for their efforts, not just to make a good neighborhood store; but to reach out to the kids in the area and provide a fun place for them to hang out.

Back in my day, if I wanted to go to an arcade my only option was a laundromat with Primal Rage and Area 51.

Given that it’s within walking distance of my house, and the fact that Pink Gorilla’s inventory has been kind of iffy in the Super NES area as of late; I could see myself doing a lot of my retro game shopping at Game Gurus from now on.

That’s not a knock on Pink Gorilla, ’cause don’t get me wrong, I love them; but I’m jus’ sayin’ is all…

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One Of The Worst Commercials I’ve Ever Seen

In this cynical age of ironic humor, there’s never been a better environment for the appreciation of things that are “good-bad.”

Due to the incredible surplus of “good-bad” or otherwise culturally outdated material that’s floating around out there, “trolling” shitty movies ala Beavis and Butt-head and Mystery Science Theater 3000 has become commonplace among peoples of all ages.

This is not a bad thing, though it does beg the question; when does something cross the line from being “good-bad,” to just plain BAD?

While I honestly have no idea where that line may lie, I do know crap when I see it.

In case you hadn’t guessed from the title of this post, as well as from viewing the actual video itself; this ad for the LOCAL exterminator service StopBuggingMeNow.com, is pretty much the definition of crap.

There, now nobody can say I haven’t done my part to plug a (very likely crappy) local business.

Neither goofy enough, nor cheap enough to be funny in any way, this commercial commits the ultimate commercial sin of being just plain dull.

The hideous combination of poor acting, shitty costumes, an even poorer concept, and an embarrassingly lethargic pace makes this commercial one of the worst I can recall in recent memory.

Don’t get me wrong, from a purely technical standpoint we’ve all seen worse than this.

It’s just that when a commercial has no entertainment value whatsoever, no humor, no message, no point; it forces the viewer to come to terms with the fact that they’ve just had 30 seconds of their motherfuckin’ time pulled out from under them.

Many commercials are annoying.

Many are also entertaining.

But it takes a special breed of crappiness for a commercial to be just plain bad.

Fuck you StopBuggingMeNow commercial.  Get off my motherfucking TV.

Filed under: Movies, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , ,

Summon Amazon.com!

I know what you’re thinking:

“Hey Azn Badger, bitter much?”

To make a long story short, yes; I am indeed bitter over my recent unemployment.

Bitter, but not angry in a “freak-out-and-bring-a-gun-to-the-office” sort of way.

Besides, like my brother’s been telling me for awhile now; being unemployed is probably the best thing for me right now, as it gives me the freedom to actually start looking out for career opportunities as opposed to jobs.

Anyway, I’ve had a busy day up until now, so I think it’s time I got spend some time with my friends.

Blogging is fun, but I’ll take an afternoon kickin’ it with my buddies over it any day.

See you tomorrow!

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Demon’s Souls: Conquered

*Ahem!* I win...

*WARNING! SPOILER ALERT PERTAINING TO END GAME EVENTS.  NO SPECIFICS, BUT IF YOU REALLY WANT THE END-GAME TO BE A SURPRISE, TURN BACK NOW!*

Last night was easily one of the worst of my life.

Don’t expect this to happen on this blog all too often, but I’m sorry to say that my experience of being stuck in a snowy traffic jam in the Seattle area for 6 hours straight was horrible to the point in which I don’t think I want to share the details.

Seriously, it was that bad.

Anyway, as a result of getting home from work at around 11:30 PM, as well has having my body be a complete wreck as a result of the harsh cold and tight confines of my car, I decided that I simply could not allow myself to go to work today.

Despite this, Amazon saw fit to penalize me for doing so; even going so far as to call me in the morning to chastise me for my actions.

Though I love buying products the company, working for Amazon gives me an insight into the inner workings of their ground-level management that really leave a bad taste in my mouth.

Oh well, it’s a job, and that’s more than a lot of people have at the moment, so I’m thankful.

Moving on, as any self-respecting survivor of a 6 hour traffic jam would do, I decided to use my self-enforced day off from work to play Demon’s Souls.

No way was I gonna’ go outside today, even to pick up a copy of The Expendables.

I’ll do that tomorrow…

*Ahem!* Anyway, in short; I managed to beat Demon’s Souls today.

Much like the rest of the game’s limited story sequences, the end of the game was quite flat, and very much anti-climactic.

Truth be told, it had been so long since I had started the game (just over 20 hours of game time) that I honestly didn’t even remember who the last boss was, or why I was fighting him for that matter.

In either case, the last boss was pathetic.

Like, “he couldn’t hit me if he tried,” pathetic.

On one level, this was quite disappointing, as many of the earlier boss fights in the game were quite epic, and fairly inspired in how the actual battles were carried out.

At the same time though, as I recall bits and pieces of the supposed “story” of Demon’s Souls, (seriously, there’s not much to be found) I’m starting to understand that the final boss of the game was supposed to be a pitiful creature, to the point where it’s ironic that it serves as the game’s final challenge.

Demon’s Souls was an excellent game.

While it indeed has flaws, as pretty much any game does; it benefits from an indefinable element in it’s gameplay and presentation, a “hook” that serves to draw in a certain demographic of gamers.

As it turns out, I fit pretty well into that particular category of gamer, as I enjoyed my time with Demon’s Souls.

In regards to it’s vaunted, and supposedly impenetrable difficulty level, I have this to say:

The game is indeed quite difficult, but only if you’re bull-headed and refuse to adhere to the “rules” of the game.

The gameplay of Demon’s Souls is methodical and rigid, meaning the game is difficult; but everything has a rhythm and a weakness, so it’s up to you the player to determine these factors before charging headlong into things.

Hell, I game in practically reverse order, resulting in most of the enemies being far too powerful for me to handle most of the time, and yet in the end, I managed to get past them all through careful planning and observation.

As you play Demon’s Souls, just remind yourself:

The game is challenging, not unfair.

If you get pissed and break your controller when you die in a game, then I’m sorry, Demon’s Souls is probably not for you.

Seriously, controllers are what, $50?

You’d be bankrupt in a week.

If however, you take every death in the game as a sign of your own failings, an indication that you could’ve played better or smarter, then chances are you’ll have a lot of fun with Demon’s Souls.

Now that I’m done with my little advertisement for the game, I feel I should take a moment to talk about some of the random things that stuck out to me in my first playthrough of Demon’s Souls:

I was a little upset at the very limited selection of armors I ran across in the game.

While it’s probably my fault moreso than the game’s, I found that as a Knight, I only ended up changing my armor maybe twice throughout the entirety of the game.

Maybe it’s just because I selected a Knight, who just happens to start out with some the better starting equipment, but I felt myself getting bored of constantly finding new weapons and equipment, but never finding an armor that was good enough to switch over to.

Seriously man, I ended up beating the game wearing Mirdan armor, something the Temple Knight starts the game out with if I recall.

To me, that’s the equivalent of watching a version of the Iron Man movie where Tony Stark remains in the original Iron Man suit throughout the entire movie.

That’s that just plain sad.

Another quick thing, from a gameplay standpoint, those fuckin’ dragons were truly fucking pathetic.

Seriously man, they’re not enemies, or bosses for that matter, they’re fuckin’ scenery.

Destructible scenery that can, and will; wreck your shit 20 times before you figure out how to get past them.

I found one of those dragons on a list of 2009’s worst boss fights, and I can honestly say, whoever wrote that list is certainly justified in doing so.

Don’t ask me how I found the patience to actually kill those motherfuckers, but I did; and that’s largely the reason why I’m writing this “I beat Demon’s Souls, quick everyone, suck my golden cock!” article today instead of a week ago.

Seriously man, that traffic jam last night might’ve taken 6 hours of my life, but I’ll be damned if those dragons didn’t take at least an hour between the 2 of them.

Other than that, I think that’s about all I’ve got to say about Demon’s Souls for now.

Now that I’m done with the game, I think I’m gonna’ move on to something radically different.

With Metal Gear Solid 4 as my first PS3 game, followed by Demon’s Souls, I think it’s time I played something besides a 3rd person action game.

My gut is telling me to try Valkyria Chronicles, but I’m also leaning towards something a little more mindless like UFC: Undisputed 2010 (*Gasp!* but Azn Badger, I thought you hated the UFC!?).

At the same time though, who knows; maybe I’ll surprise even myself and hop back on the Final Fantasy wagon, of which I’ve been off ever since VIII.

There’s a lot of great games out there for the PS3, old and new; so feel free to let me know what I should look into.

Anyway, happy snow day to me; hopefully everyone drove safe this evening!

Filed under: Comics, Games, Movies, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I Used To Like Snow…

I WAS IN TRAFFIC FOR 6 HOURS THIS EVENING.

How ‘Bout You?

And I thought me an’ snow was cool…

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Action Coach Seattle: Wrong Kind of Action, Wrong Kind of Coach…

On my drive home from work this evening, I happened to catch sight of a new business just a few blocks from my home.

The small, unassuming sign hung above the building was laeled “Action Coach Seattle.”

Being as I am an action movie enthusiast, my hopeful young mind immediately conjured up images of a safety mat and training dummy filled stunt school.

Think of that one scene a lot of James Bond movies where Q shows up and he and 007 take a stroll through a chaotic training/gadget room while casually slinging deadpan humor back and forth.

That’s the kind of imagery I had swimming around in my head as I drove past Action Coach Seattle.

What’s more, I also happened to notice that the sign had a date for a meet and greet in the near future, getting me anxious for all of the future possibilities the place might have in store for someone like me.

For the 3 minutes or so, I drove home with feelings of hope and excitement stirring in my heart.

I thought:

“Man, I should go home and work out!”

“Tonight I should have tuna, cabbage and rice, that always makes me feel energized!”

“Should I start running again?”

Then I got home and actually visited the Action Coach Seattle website.

In an instant, all of my ambition, and all of my practical, realistic goal-oriented energy went straight down the shitter.

It’s a business coaching service.

Action Coach Seattle, is a training/motivational service, for small businesses.

I suppose it’s better than a bunch of “social media experts” moving ino the neighborhood, but even so; business coaching is a far cry from balls-out, fighting/stunt training for Hollywood hopefuls!

*Sigh* Oh well, we can’t always get what we want…

I’m just glad this all took place over the course of a few minutes, otherwise I would’ve gone nuts busting my ass to be in great shape for the open house, and no doubt would’ve ruined my daily performance at work.

I guess I’ll just have to stick to making stupid action movies with my friends the best way I know how…

Badly, and without the proper planning.

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