Azn Badger's Blog

What About the Lysine Contingency…?

Safety Not Guaranteed – The Poster!

As promised, here’s a poster depicting the images that came to mind when I first heard news of the Safety Not Guaranteed movie.

From the description, the movie sounds like it’s gonna’ be more of a *Shudder!* “Indie” movie than anything else, however for the purposes of making this poster, y’know; interesting, I decided to go nuts and treat it like an action-adventure B-movie.

While I personally don’t care much for Jack Black or Michael Cera as actors or comedians, in all honesty; it wouldn’t really bother me if they were cast alongside an AK-47 and crowbar wielding Guile lookalike, whilst battling the Ultimate Warrior and his army of dinosaurs.

Truth be told, I used Black and Cera because I was able to find a good high-res photo of them from the unfunny shit-fest that is Year One.

It’s kind of ironic though, (but not in a “hip” sort of way) knowing Hollywood, I wouldn’t put it past them to throw a *GASP!* “Indie” actor like Michael Cera into a movie like this.

It’s almost a certainty that they’d hire Danny McBride for the role of The Mullet Man, most likely because his default haircut seems dangerously close to a mullet to begin with.

Personally, I’d rather see a beastly, wooden-as-fuck action dude like Dolph Lundgren take on the role, but that’s just me.

Anyway, thanks for takin’ a gander; see you tomorrow.

Advertisements

Filed under: Movies, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Safety Not Guaranteed… The Movie???

Remember this?

Well folks, believe it or not, Hollywood is apparently ready to take the plunge and spend millions upon millions of dollars in bringing the utterly ridiculous and meme-tastic classified ad supposedly published by the vaguely Guile-esque “Mullet Man,” to the silver screen this coming year.

The film in question has been tentatively announced on imdb as bearing the same name as the meme that inspired it, “Safety Not Guaranteed.”

I’ll just let that let sink in for a moment.

I never thought I’d see the day that a silly joke, a retarded-ass product of the internet; would actually be made into a movie.

While the inspiration for the movie is, for lack of a better term; truly fuckin’ stupid, the core concept of it at least has some possibilities.

Think about it:

MULLET MAN.

 

TIME TRAVEL.

WEAPONS.

At worst, it could end up being a lame Land of the Lost (2009) knockoff, which was in itself; a pile of fuck-sauce with chicken nuggets.

At best, it could be… Well, not quite as shitty as Land of the Lost.

I don’t really see a way for this one to turn out any less than shitty, but any movie that promises Guile haircuts and the use of weapons while TRAVELING THROUGH TIME, is probably worth a look, y’know; for shits and giggles.

It’s what you call “good bad.”

Anyway, I have to give credit to my buddy over at Another Sunny Morning for giving me the heads up about this one.

Check back tomorrow for my vision of what a poster for Safety Not Guaranteed would look like!

Filed under: Movies, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Donate