Azn Badger's Blog

What About the Lysine Contingency…?

Bane + Christopher Nolan = I Love You Christopher Nolan

It finally happened folks.

Bane has been officially cast for Christopher Nolan’s next, and likely last; Batman film, The Dark Knight Rises.

When I first read about it, I was floored.

I, along with God knows how many comic fans; have been asking for Bane in every Batman film since his debut in Knightfall.

 

And no, THIS doesn't count.

He’s one of my favorite villains in Batman’s pantheon, and I have no doubt that Nolan will do him justice in bringing him to the silver screen.

Curiously enough, Tom Hardy of Nolan’s Inception; is cast as the titular South American juicing genius.

While I honestly don’t see Bane in Hardy at first glance, my perception of his as an actor is strictly limited to his performance in Inception, so I don’t think it fair of me to pass judgment based on that alone.

Even so, Hardy’s physical presence seems rather puny when compared to the hulking physique of the character, not to mention I’d be curious to see if he’ll be able to pull of a South American accent, but these are questions that only come to mind given my love for the character.

 

... Tom Hardy everyone!

Aside from the glee that shoots through my heart as I think of how awesome it’s going to be to see one of my favorite comic villains brought to life on the big screen, the best part of casting Bane for The Dark Knight Rises, is the fact that his character brings a very different dynamic to the mix.

Batman Begins and The Dark Knight featured numerous villains of Batman’s gallery of rogues, however with the exception of perhaps Ra’s Al Ghul, none of them stood as physical match to the caped crusader.

I like you Carrey, but Batman would turn your face inside out with one punch.

While Bane has shown (in the comics) that he is very much on par with Batman in terms of intelligence and cunning, the element of his character that stands out the most is that he is physically as strong as, or stronger; than Batman.

Aside from Amygdala, Killer Croc, and maybe a few others, Batman rarely has to contend with opponents that physically outmatch him, let alone one’s that can count to 5.

Man, I love that clip…

Much like how I’ve been waiting (and continue to wait…) for another Superman film to cash in on the amazing success of the wholly under-appreciated Superman II by giving him villains he can slug it out with, I’ve spent much of my life waiting for a Batman film to put him up against someone that can duke it out with the dark knight.

As my “Sequential Visual Narrative” teacher once told me:

“Superman is only fun when he has something to punch.”

Which is why this FAILED and should have been titled: "Superman Lifts Progressively Heavier Things"

While I’m of course excited to see what Christopher Nolan’s script has in mind for Bane, the comic fan in me can’t help wonder/worry how Tom “Fish Lips” Hardy will do when it comes to embodying the beast that is Bane.

As evidenced by Nolan’s casting methods since Batman Begins, he’s a man very much keen on casting his films with actors he’s comfortable/familiar with, or failing that; lots and lots of English people.

Seriously man, you try an’ count how many actors in his movies come from across the pond, and you’re likely to run out of fingers and toes.

Oh well, it’s probably a comfort thing; and based on his success in the industry up to this point, I’d say it’s working for him.

Anyway, Catwoman has also been cast for The Dark Knight Rises, with Anne Hathaway filling the role.

Anne Hathaway's Eyes: The Only Thing That Can Compete With Jennifer Garner's Forehead in terms of hogging a shot.

She’s a decent actress, and definitely has a way about her that seems appropriate for Selina Kyle; however aside from Michelle Pfeiffer’s multi-faceted performance in Batman Returns, I bear no love for the character whatsoever.

Honestly, as of this point I’m on board for The Dark Knight Rises for Bane and Chris Nolan; that’s about it.

Oh yeah, and Michael Caine, ’cause he’s fuckin’ pimp.

Michael Caine on any given Thursday. That's your mom on the left, by the way.

Anyway, that’s it for today, hopefully you’re all as excited/elated as I am for this one!

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Batman Games and the Azn Badger


Today, after more than a month since my last PS3 game purchase, (Demon’s Souls) I went out and bought Batman: Arkham Asylum.

This one has been a long time coming for me.

As you may have guessed, the Azn Badger is very much a fan of the Batman.

The comics, the animated series, the first 2 and last 2 live-action movies, (those other ones never happened…)  if it’s Batman related media; I’ve probably seen it or want to see it.

In my eyes, few characters in the realm of fiction better represent the embodiment of a persona crafted through sheer will than Batman.

He’s a man that chooses to be what he feels he must, and that simple element of his character has led to a seemingly neverending stream of great stories surrounding him.

It hasn’t however, led to all that many videogames that represented him all that well.

 

Batman Begins: The only game where seasoned criminals are paralyzed with fear at the sight of moving boxes.

The Tim Burton Batman movie-tie on the NES, and the Batman Returns game on the Super NES stand as my favorite Batman games of yesteryear, however aside from borrowing the sounds and aesthetic of their respective movies, neither really made use of the character of Batman in their gameplay.

The NES game was a handsome and vaguely Ninja Gaiden-esque shooter/platformer that still receives acclaim to this day.

It also has quite possibly the most awesome, and totally fucked up endings to a Batman story ever in the history of everything:

The Batman Returns game was essentially a sidescrolling beat ’em up with a few extra bells and whistles in the form of a mildly expanded repertoire of moves, (including being able to throw dudes into the background scenery!) but other than that; was little more than standard genre fare.

 

Pictured: The coolest element of Batman Returns - slamming 2 clowns faces together for twice the pwnage.

I love both of these games, and find them to be quite fun in their own right; (especially Batman Returns, which I own to this day) however I have to admit, neither game really feels like a Batman game should.

In the comics, Batman never jumped around giant factories with a laser gun strapped to this forearm.

 

Hmm, I don't remember this in the comics...

In the comics, Batman never walked from left to right and beat the piss out of a clone army of clowns for hours at a time.

 

Although I must admit, such a comic would definitely be on my "must read" list. Man, I hate clowns...

In the comics, the detective work to beating up of goons ratio is generally 2:1.

Let’s get one thing clear:  Batman is really fuckin’ strong.

Batman has told villains on numerous occasions that he could “crush their head like an egg,” and for all intents and purposes, I don’t doubt that fact.

Batman is supposed to be a man trained to the peak of human ability, so I would think crushing a human skull with his bare hands would be well within his capability.

When you think about it from that perspective, it’s hard to envision all that many people that could take a patented Batman Sucker Punch (TM) and not go right to sleep.

 

Pictured: The Batman Sucker Punch (TM) in all it's glory.

Though in many ways it might be a product of the unique and condensed structure of American comic book storytelling, I’ve always thought that Batman’s penchant for separating bad guys from their senses within a panel or 2 to be well in line with the facets of his character.

Batman is not a character that engages in dramatic and overblown, 5 minute kung fu brawls with his opponents, he is a silent predator that, more often than not, lays people out rather than battling them directly.

Although far be it from me to say that I don’t appreciate the few instances in which ‘ole Bats gets dragged into an all out slug fest:

 

Even though this was intensely one-sided, and I never got to read the rematch, this still ranks as one of most awesome moments in Batman history.

This is what initially drew me to Batman: Arkham Asylum.

Yeah, it’s been critically acclaimed up the ying yang.

Yeah, it’s gameplay is supposed to be a MetroidVania* mish-mash of backtracking heavy awesomeness.

Yeah, it even has always awesome Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill reprising their roles from Batman Animated series.

 

"Always awesome" or not, Father Time has officially backed his truck up over Mark Hamill's face and taken the mother of all corn-filled shits on it for good measure

While I obviously don’t discount any of the above, as I did in fact just buy the game today; what really got me hyped for this game ever since it came out, was that most of the reviews I was reading about placed a great deal of emphasis on the fact that in this game, you really feel like Batman.

Everything from the exploration of the detective mode, to the stealth and counter heavy combat system has been said to reflect the Batman sensibilities we all know and love to a T.

Try saying that about Batman: Vengeance, or Dark Tomorrow, or any of the dozens Bat-Failures in videogame history.

 

I like how me and my friend used to pretend that this was fun... Man I was a dumb kid.

Every kid that loves Batman has wanted to be him at some point in their life.

We do it because goddamn it, he’s just a man.

Aside from the billionaire fortune, gadgets, and unlimited resources, at his core; Batman is just a man that woke up one day and committed himself to being Batman.

Even if it’s total bullshit, and has a 99% chance of never coming true, at some point in our lives, even if just for a moment; we trick ourselves into thinking that with enough time and dedication, we could be Batman if we really tried.

 

And there's kids like this that are destined to be loser-ly for the rest of their days. Seriously, who in their right mind would want to be Robin?

While I’ve long since grown beyond thinking that, it doesn’t stop me from thinking that playing a game like Arkham Asylum could make me relive those feelings in some capacity.

As of writing this, I haven’t actually started the game, but I was feeling nostalgic, so I figured a little Bat-Ruminating was in order.

Anyway, here’s hoping the game lives up to my insanely high standards!

*It should be noted that I am not a fan of Metroid, nor am I a fan of the Symphony of the Night style Castlevania games.  This could lead to some issues in terms of my overall enjoyment of Arkham Asylum, however I am hopeful my experience will lean towards the contrary.

Filed under: Comics, Games, Movies, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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