Azn Badger's Blog

What About the Lysine Contingency…?

And Now, Mr. Perfect Being Less Than Perfect

Curt Hennig was pretty fuckin’ awesome.

His promos were legendary, his athleticism was phenomenal, and his in-ring execution was textbook perfect.

Rarely a belt holder, Mr. Perfect may never have been the most popular of wrestlers, however few would argue that in terms of pure technical ability, he was easily one of the best of all time.

Sadly, his in-ring perfection failed to carry over into his private life, resulting in his untimely death at the age of 44 via cocaine overdose.

That being said, the clip above represents a rare instance in the career of Mr. Perfect when his aura of invincibility was broken down, and he botched a line just like any other greenhorn.

Hmm… This post turned out oddly depressing.

That certainly wasn’t my intent.

What can I do to lighten the mood…

I know!

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Filed under: Movies, Uncategorized, Wrestling, , , , , , , , , ,

DC Reboot Rage

As some of you may know, DC recently announced a massive reboot project across all of their major superhero comics.

As of writing this, the publisher is currently in the process of wrapping up all of their current story arcs/threads in preparation for said reboot; making it abundantly clear that they really are crazy enough to deploy the history eraser button on all of their beloved characters and storylines up to this point.

Well, remember how I said this all didn’t bother me all that much?

The image above represents the official redesigns for the Justice League in DC’s new era of comics, and by golly; I think it looks like hot garbage.

For the life of me I just can’t understand why everyone either looks like they’re wearing power armor, or in the case of Wonder Woman; just plain look like space-hookers.

Space-hookers with exposed torso musculature…

Looks like someone ran afoul of a Cenobite...

The old-fashioned designs and costumes may have been kind of dorky by today’s standards, but they had a quiet elegance about them that made them special.

Jack Kirby’s mastery of lines and patterns gave birth to untold numbers of classic and enduring designs, not through the use of extraneous detail and intricacy, but through simplicity.

Every line was calculated and purposeful. ART.

Such is the talent of many of the best pencil and ink artists:

The ability to convey strength and meaning behind the simplest of lines and angles.

It’s called refinement, and it’s something that is sorely lacking in DC’s reboot designs.

Everywhere I look on these designs, I see lines and ornaments that contribute nothing to the strength or symbol of their characters.

What the fuck is up with the gaudy-ass belts!?

How the fuck does everyone move in their tortoise shell power armor!?

How the fuck does Wonder Woman not cut her tits on her pointy-ass bustier!?

Aquaman looks alright with his new fins and pretty boy haircut, and Cyborg looks appropriate enough given that he’s the only character in the roster that actually is¬†supposed to be wearing power armor; (and was apparently put front and center for this graphic for the sole purpose of representing the black demographic) but everyone else just sort of looks like an aborted concept car design transposed onto a superhero.

Pictured: Batman, as designed by Lexus.

I don’t know about anyone else, but I was always fine with viewing Superman and Batman as being a couple of dudes wearing tights.

I know Batman was technically always supposed to be wearing a high-tech suit of pseud0-armor, but the fact of the matter is, unless otherwise stated in the context of the comics, superhero costumes have typically been depicted as being crafted from some imaginary fabric/material that adheres, not to the laws of physics; but to the pencil of the artists.

All I see when I look at these new designs, is a bunch of dudes in skin-tight armor plating.

SUPERMAN, the Jesus metaphor/Man of Steel is wearing ARMOR.

The Flash’s boots look like ski boots by Nerf.

Batman looks more like Owl Man from Crisis on Two Earths than he does THE GODDAMN BATMAN.

Pictured: THE GODDAMN BATMAN.

Wonder Woman looks like a pirate space-hooker.

Green Lantern looks… Relatively the same, just with hideous 90’s shoulder pads.

And everybody’s belts look truly, truly, truly outrageous.

To say I am disappointed in these designs does not even begin to scratch the surface.

I feel like we’re well on our way to falling right back into the 90’s era of comic art.

Hell, if movies, TV, comics, and pretty much every other part of American pop-culture right now is any indication; I think it’s pretty much guaranteed that Rob Liefeld shoulder pads and pouches are poised for a major comeback…

Oh well, here’s hoping DC pussies out and doesn’t press the button:

Filed under: Comics, Movies, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Let’s Play Snow Bros., Part I

Well, after the epicry that was yesterday’s Ip Man 2 review, I can honestly say I am Ip Man-ed out for awhile.

That is to say, my brain hurts, and I wasn’t able to come up with anything to write about for today.

I did however decide to sit down and start a Let’s Play of Snow Bros. for you guys!

See my article here for a refresher on why Snow Bros. is the best game EVER.

Anyway, I was barely half-awake while filming these, so hopefully you’ll all find my insane/nonsensical ramblings to be “charming” in the same way that Woody Allen’s neuroticism can be considered “charming.”

CHARMING.

Please enjoy!
Intro and Stages 1-10

Stages 11-20

Filed under: Games, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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