Azn Badger's Blog

What About the Lysine Contingency…?

The Halloween Breakdown

Pictured: The Azn Badger's MANLY Jack 'O Lantern.

So, I don’t know about you, but I actually tried to make something of Halloween this year.

When I was a kid I did the whole Trick or Treat-ing thing, but in the years since, I’ve kind of treated Halloween as just another lonely and awkward day on the calendar.

Deep down I really wanted to make an effort to have a Halloween this year, but I have a problem that one could describe as “lacking balls,” so I decided to tag along with my good friend Mencius (who had to twist my arm just to make me leave the house) on an aimless trek through the night.

That being said, here’s a bullet-ed breakdown of my Halloween, from start to finish:

  • Woke up.
  • Ate pig sandwich.
  • Browsed web while watching Batman Returns.
  • Went to Unemployment Office for mandatory meeting.
  • Got bored during meeting, drew Gamera on my pamphlet.
  • Went home, resumed watching Batman Returns.
  • Got call from Mencius around the time Batman Wilhelms that one dude and blows up the strong man.
  • Got to the part when Penguin is controlling the Batmobile, got call from friend, hopped on bus to card shop.
  • Played 2 rounds of Magic, went 1-1 against a vastly superior deck.
  • Missed bus back home, had to run 2.5 miles home in time to rendezvous with Mencius.
  • Headed down to Capitol Hill with Mencius, he dressed as “Alternative Medicine,” and me wearing a non-costume in the form of my official Azn Badger t-shirt.
  • Saw a Blondie from The Man with No Name movies that had Ennio Morricone music perpetually playing from his phone.  Brownie points for innovation.
  • Saw a decent Quail Man.

He looked only marginally better than this guy.

      • Encountered hobo asking for money to cure an itch he had in his crotch.  Brownie points for innovation and grossness.
      • Saw a Weird Al Yankovic from his “Fat” music video.  Handcrafted with an embarrassing degree of love.
      • Saw a Ruby Rhod AKA Chris Tucker from The Fifth Element.  Very unique and detailed.
      • Ate sushi and drank tea.
      • Encountered Conservative Jewish Batman.
      • Conservative Jewish Batman expressed sexual frustration regarding female Seattlites, as well as Liberals in general.
      • Many topics were discussed, ranging from comics, to videogames, to politics and economics, though for Conservative Jewish Batman, everything always came back to Reddit AKA “That One Place On The Internet I Never Go.”
      • Sighted an Asian man in the bar that was “living the dream.”

"Living the Dream": Being an Asian man dating an attractive white and/or blonde girl.

        • Decided to call it a night, had long and fruitful conversation with Mencius regarding frustration over white people utilizing random Japanese words in English conversation.
        • It was decided that “Toki Doki” was the most annoying of said Japanese-isms.
And that was my Halloween!
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Filed under: Comics, Movies, Tokusatsu, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Blog Every Day…

Image courtesy Anothersunnymorning.wordpress.com

Now before you get all excited thinking I finally got my shit together and put forth the time and effort to craft the image you see above, please note that this image is a gift from a close friend of mine over at Another Sunny Morning.

It’s a stunning likeness if I do say so myself, though this marks the second portrait of me the man’s made where I’m donning a wife-beater.

Funny, given that I almost never wear wife-beaters, and even then mine are black.

Oh well, maybe I just seem like a wife-beater wearin’ kind of guy to some people…

As part of an ongoing daily project, my buddies’ been making a legitimate piece of art every day, which given the pressures of having to find artistic inspiration every day; resulted in him making goofy pictures of people he knows doing goofy (yet somehow appropriate) things.

Anyway, he gave me the okay to use the image above if ever I felt the need to take “lazy day” on my blog, and wouldn’t you know; I’m cashing it in the same day he sent it to me.

That being said, sorry again for all the lazy posts; consider this one a great big “sigh” on my part.

Luckily I have friends to do my blogging for me when I’ve got nothing in the pipe.

Filed under: Games, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Tooting My Own Horn…

*In lieu of my family’s traditional New Year’s dinner of pork and sauerkraut (Apparently it’s a Pennsylvania Dutch thingDon’t ask…) being pushed back to this evening, I’ve decided to forego a legit posting tonight in favor of a neat little “year in review” that WordPress made for me.  Enjoy, I know I sure did!*

The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

Healthy blog!

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Wow.

Crunchy numbers

Featured image

Madison Square Garden can seat 20,000 people for a concert. This blog was viewed about 64,000 times in 2010. If it were a concert at Madison Square Garden, it would have performed about 3 times.

In 2010, there were 250 new posts, not bad for the first year!

The busiest day of the year was October 29th with 3,439 views. The most popular post that day was Minecraft: Survival Multiplayer (Guest Post).

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were reddit.com, facebook.com, kotaku.com, kungfucinema.com, and minecraftforum.net.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for donnie yen, cecilia cissy wang, broly, moon knight, and guyver.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

1

Minecraft: Survival Multiplayer (Guest Post) October 2010
2 comments

2

A Tribute to the Greatness that is Donnie Yen: Part VI – Old Man Yen May 2010

3

Movie Review: Undisputed 3: Redemption June 2010
3 comments

4

Vejita Has a Brother!!? September 2010
2 comments

5

Moon Knight, Thank You For Being So Freakin’ Crazy. May 2010

Filed under: Comics, Games, Kung Fu, Movies, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Azn Badger’s Friend Mencius Started A Blog!

"Monkey sips master's wine!" "Drunken maid flirting with the master!" "Down the hatch!" "Waterfall!" ~ Actual Chinese proverbs.

So, you remember my buddy Mencius?

The guy that made that awesome Minecraft parody comic that I…  Honestly didn’t “get?”

Well, as fate would have it; he recently went ahead and started a blog of his own called Another Sunny Morning.

For those that don’t trust in-paragraph hyperlinks, (I understand.  I’ve lost loved ones to hyperlink-ing too…) please note that there is also a link to the blog listed on the “Links” column on the right.

For the truly dense and/or retarded, this is my not so subtle way of saying CLICK THE FUCKING LINK, EX-LAX.

Moving on, despite the title I assure you it’s not some coffee house, namby pampy, hipster-doofus-y poetry corner blog.

Pictured: Hopefully not the kind of imagery that posts at Another Sunny Morning will evoke.

At least I hope it isn’t.

If it is imma’ have to break ‘ole Mencius’ thumbs or some shit…

*Ahem!* Anyway, as thanks for all the publicity and promotion he gave to me by allowing me to post his comic, which he shamelessly whored out to the masses across the internets via Reddit; I feel it’s only right that I do what I can to send a little bit of traffic his way via my some shameless promotion of my own!

That being said, his blog is very young at the moment, and given what I know of him; he probably couldn’t give 2 shits as to how many people actually visit it, but do us both a favor and check it out anyway.

He’s honestly a terrific, insightful, and fun-loving writer, such that many people I’ve known over the years have seen fit to have him edit their work.

That’s more than I can say for myself, as my grammar, use of tenses, and sense of sentence structure are just about on par with a wombat.

An illiterate wombat, that smells of basil and turpentine…

That's the one...

Anyway, that’s me vouching for/promoting my buddy’s blog.

Sorry for the shitty post, work kind of fucked my writer’s brain for the day.

Either that or I got home earlier than normal and am itching to play some Demon’s Souls

Let’s just pretend it’s the former rather than the latter.

This post has been brought to you by the formidable combination of laziness and writer’s block.

ANOTHER SUNNY MORNING

Filed under: Games, Kung Fu, Movies, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Holy Schnikes! 25,000 Hits!

Quite possibly the finest image I've ever produced...

Greetings true believers!

Yesterday was the first day I invited a guest contributor to post on this blog.

Yesterday was also the first day my blog ever scored more than 450 hits.

Not only that, today the Azn Badger’s blog was fortunate to score over 3,000 hits.

… So am I to understand that my blog’s best days are the one’s in which the Azn Badger let’s someone else do the writing?

Ouch.

… Nah, I’m just Joshin’ yah’, I’m happy as a clam!

Thank you Mencius, for you contribution, and more importantly; your promotional efforts.

The success of this blog would be 3,000 something hits less without you.

Anyway, hope you like my Stallone/Ultimate Warrior mural.

I assure you, it was crafted with pure love.

Oh yeah, and Photoshop…

I’m not about to make any promises for what the future holds for this blog, (I learned my lesson about 15,000 hits ago…) however I will say that a potential podcast is definitely in the works, as well as maybe a stupid homemade action movie or 2!

That being said, thank you for your readership, expect more fun and insanity in the days to come.

Until tomorrow folks!

Excelsior!

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