Azn Badger's Blog

What About the Lysine Contingency…?

Remember That One Time Chucky Cut A Promo On WCW?

You’d think having Chucky from the Child’s Play movies show up on a wrestling show would be considered jumping the shark, right?

Well, technically I suppose it would be, if not for the fact that it basically already happened by the time 1998 came rollin’ along… More than once.

That being said, guest stars, fictional or otherwise, have been commonplace in wrestling for some time now.

WCW in particular, during the Monday Night Wars, seemed to have a penchant for populating it’s telecasts with all manner of larger than life non-wrestlers.

Chuck Norris, Jay Leno, a number of NBA players, and even fuckin’ Robocop all made guest appearances on the show at one time or another, with predictably hilarious results.

Yeah, that actually happened.

So, when you take into consideration all the bullshit that came before it, having Chucky cut a promo during an episode of Nitro actually isn’t all that silly after all.

… That is until you take a minute to listen to what he’s actually saying.

With Leno, WCW actually went to great lengths to write him into a storyline.

Believe it or not, it was actually a big fucking deal.

DDP, Hogan, and Eric Bischoff actually showed up on the Tonight Show and caused a ruckus, creating significant cross-promotional buzz.

Sure, the actual in-ring pay-off was horrendous, but it’s hard to deny the cleverness of their marketing strategy.

Which brings us to Chucky.

Near as I can tell, Chucky showed up to promote his film, as is typically the case with any movie stars/homicidal doll monsters that guest star on wrestling shows, however WCW went the extra mile and had him pick a favorite to win in the upcoming Halloween Havoc.

It should be noted that the main event of the Halloween Havoc in question, Hogan vs. Ultimate Warrior; would go on to be regarded as one of the single worst matches in all of televised professional wrestling.

Yeah, that also really happened.

Now, as far as I can recall, Chucky never physically appeared on WCW, but for whatever goddamn reason, the writers saw fit to have him favor Scott Steiner over his brother Rick in their upcoming match.

Last time I checked, Chucky was more concerned with reclaiming his body and killing stupid bitches than he was the daily affairs of professional wrestling, but hey, this was the same team of writers that thought having the slowest goddamn Robocop in the history of slow-ass Robocops appear on their show was a good idea.

Anyway, at some point, Chucky mentions something about wanting to be a film director, and that he wants Scott Steiner to win because he’s hoping to cast him as his leading man.

There is so much fucking wrong with that last sentence, that honestly, I’m not even gonna’ go into it.

The really sad part in all this, is the fact that they actually got Brad Dourif to voice Chucky.

I mean, yeah, Chucky isn’t Chucky without Brad Dourif’s considerable vocal talents, but come on, the man deserves so much better than to get paid to do wrestling promos and super-liminal advertising.

Filed under: Movies, Uncategorized, Wrestling, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Remember That One Time They Let The Big Show Talk?

Yeah…. The Big Show was never very good on the mic.

He could be pretty damn funny, as was the case in his appearance on SNL, but for the most part; he’s not much of a talker.

The funny part is, this promo would be most likely be considered racially stereotypical/insensitive if it wasn’t spot on perfect.

Seriously man, every mannerism and inflection you see in the clip above, as silly and repetitive as it may seem, is actually pretty much a 100% accurate imitation of Booker T.

That’s right, the same Booker T that went and yelled “the word” on national television:

Filed under: Uncategorized, Wrestling, , , , , , , , , , , ,

And Now, Dennis Rodman Attempting To Cut A Promo.

In case you’re wondering, here’s the actual English translation:

VADER! ANYONE GETS NEAR THAT CAGE…THEIR HEAD IS BASHED BIG MAN, BASHED!”

Vader of course being the famously spry big man, Big Van Vader, and the cage obviously being a reference to a cage match that was apparently being held at WCW’s¬†Battle at the Beach.

Sadly, I did in fact have to look up a translation for this, as even with my degree in “Improper-As-Fuck English,” I honestly couldn’t figure out what Rodman was trying to say.

Oh well, I suppose you can’t expect a man that kicks cameramen in the nuts to be comfortable cutting a promo on live television:

Filed under: Uncategorized, Wrestling, , , , , , , , , ,

Remember That One Time Big Boss Man Drove Off With The Big Show’s Dad’s Coffin?

I was fortunate to have seen this promo live, that is, when it originally aired on TV.

To this day, my dad still brings it up as one of the most awesome things he ever watched with me and my brother.

God I miss the days of good wrestling…

Filed under: Uncategorized, Wrestling, , , , , , , , , ,

Remember That One Time Ric Flair Had A Heart Attack?


Oddly enough, I seem to remember this happening in WCW more than once…

Filed under: Uncategorized, Wrestling, , , , , , , , ,

Remember That One Time Sid Vicious Apologized On-Air For Being An Idiot?

Filed under: Uncategorized, Wrestling, , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Resurgence Of The Macho Man Randy Savage!

I’m a fan of The Macho Man Randy Savage.

The highlights of his wrestling career took place largely before my time, however his over-the-top personality and legendary “OH YEEAAHH!!!” tagline were inescapable elements of growing up in the 80’s and 90’s.

While I got a chance to see him wrestle a few times in the WWF and WCW, at a time when he was largely past his all too brief prime; the things I remember most about Randy Savage, were his promo videos, and of course; his Slim Jim commercials:


In terms of mic performances, few pro wrestlers could top Randy Savage’s intensity.

Well-documented as a neurotic stickler for detail, Savage’s promos were often insane along the lines of say, The Ultimate Warrior; however they rarely ventured so far off into the absurd as to become downright incoherent as was the case with the Warrior:

… Yeah.

Anyway with his throaty, vocal cord ripping voice, Savage had a capacity to mystify and entrance like few others before or since.

He’s probably the closest thing to a poet that the Azn Badger has ever had for a personal hero.

Despite my love for anything Savage, I have to admit; like most wrestling fans of my generation, I didn’t care much for his stint on WCW.

WCW was all about, Goldberg, Cruiserweights and Luchadores if you ask me.

Everything else was just celebrity driven publicity stunts and old guys collecting fatty paychecks.

Enough about the “dark times” of WCW wrestling though, let’s get back to the SAVAGE.

Following his jumping ship from the WWF to WCW, Randy Savage claimed the intellectual rights to his Macho Man persona; resulting in him being absent from all WWF productions thereafter.

No videogame appearances, not toys, and certainly no more awesome promo videos.

Many would consider that an admirable feat, given the corporatist nature of the business.

As fate would have it though, Savage has come back to the WWF (probably for money…) and will be appearing the new WWF licensed videogame, WWE: All Stars.

Pictured: The Rock doing to John Cena what we've all wanted for so long...

Every time I have to type the acronym “WWE,” I die a little inside…

The game looks to be an over-the-top combo based fighter, hopefully sharing mechanics and aesthetic sensibilities with the excellent WWF Wrestlemania: The Arcade Game of old.

Mortal Kombat Gameplay + The WWF Roster = BRILLIANT.

Despite the announcement of the game, the thing that really peaked my interest, was the fact that Savage was brought on board to improv one of his legendary promo videos to advertise the game!

Check it out:


Truth be told, I haven’t actually seen Randy Savage since his turn as Bonesaw in 2002’s Spider-Man, and I’ve gotta’ say; it looks like Father Time done caught up with him and put him in the Figure Four.

He looks to have gained some weight, as most aging bodybuilders do; but most noticeable of all is the fact that his previously Just For Men-ed beard is now a snowy white.

In all honesty, the man is starting to look like my dad.

Hell, if you dialed back his crazy voice a bit; his insane ramblings would probably sound pretty similar to the Azn Badger’s dad’s daily rants.

Anyway, I’m glad to see the Macho is back where he belongs.

He should never wrestle again, that much is for sure; but if this gets him the spotlight he needs to finally be inducted into the WWF Hall of Fame, then I wish him the best.

Please God don’t let him wrestle…

Filed under: Games, Uncategorized, Wrestling, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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