Azn Badger's Blog

What About the Lysine Contingency…?

Crash Bandicoot 3: Warped Death Reel

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Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back Death Reel

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Crash Bandicoot Death Reel

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I’m Gonna’ Beat A Castlevania Game Goddamnit

Castlevania has never really been one of my favorite game series.

I’ve been fascinated by the series’ music and characters for a long time now, but in all honesty; I never really sat down to play any of the games.

Truth be told, the exploits of the Belmont clan, that is; their eternal struggle against Count Dracula and the forces of darkness, managed to blow right by my radar when I was a kid.

I guess I was too busy playing Mega Man and Ninja Turtle games during the NES era to have really paid mind to Konami’s whip cracking platformer.

Nah' that's a lie... I was playing Snow Bros.

That’s not to say I wasn’t aware of Castlevania.

On the contrary, I remember reading a lot about Castlevania 2: Simon’s Quest in Nintendo Power, but perhaps more importantly I remember being genuinely frightened of the cover art depicting Simon Belmont holding Dracula’s severed head.

Pictured: The cover in question.

It wasn’t so much the graphic nature of the image, blood and guts were “cool” to me even as a kid; it was Drac’s motherfuckin’ glowing red eyes that bugged me.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

Seriously, how could you put that on the magazine stands and expect parents to buy it for their kids!?

*Ahem!* Anyway, I remember Nintendo Power going out of their way to talk up Castlevania 2 like it was the coolest game ever, even giving it a Nester award for Best Audio.

Strangely enough, nowadays the game seems to have a pretty well established reputation as being a crytptic and poorly translated heap of garbage.

I guess people were willing to swallow a lot more shit from their games back in the day than they are nowadays…

I owned, played, and liked this back in the day. Don't ask me why...

Anyway, while I read plenty about the Castlevania games in various gaming magazines back in the day, I honestly don’t recall ever sitting down to play any of them until I was much older.

I remember reading about Symphony of the Night in Playstation Magazine, which gave it a perfect score and even went on to give it the top spot on their Best Playstation 1 Game of All Time list.

To this day, I have yet to try Symphony of the Night, largely because it’s Metroid style, backtracking heavy gameplay would likely drive me insane.

Like Zelda before it, Metroid games have always had a way of making me feel dumb and lost throughout the experience, and based on what I’ve seen of the map from Symphony of the Night, I think it’s in my best interest to stay away.

"For the love of God, I don't speak Japanese!"

Don’t get me wrong, the game looks absolutely gorgeous, with some of the most detailed and well animated sprites I can recall, (always a huge selling point in my book) but I know what I like, and I know what pisses me off, and it’s more than likely that Symphony of the Night would piss me off something fierce.

Completely dodging tremendously successful game series is not exactly a new thing for me, as evidenced by me having never played a Jak and Daxter, Ratchet and Clank, Prince of Persia, or Duke Nukem game; but in the case of Castlevania, I was always bothered by the fact that I actually wanted to play some games in the series.

More specifically the straightforward platforming games in the series I.E. the first 4, and Rondo of Blood.

Any game that includes Shoryuken-ing Minotaurs as boss characters gets brownie points in my book.

While the gothic aesthetic didn’t really appeal to me all that much, the old-school horror references, platforming action, and downright legendary music of the more traditional games in the series have always seemed right up my alley.

Hell, I’ve been listening to Castlevania music since middle school, but I only just played my first game in the series a few years ago in the form of the NES original.

That being said, while I can’t say I enjoyed my experience playing a Castlevania game nearly as much as I hoped I would have; the challenge, combined with the delightful sights and sounds left me intrigued in an oddly masochistic sense.

While I won’t be throwing down my gauntlet and saying I’m gonna’ beat Battletoads or Ghosts ‘n Goblins anytime soon, Castlevania seemed to have a reasonably challenging difficulty level that appealed to me.

The Battletoads Turbo Tunnel: SERIOUS BUSINESS.

Hard enough to piss you off, but with gameplay that feels rewarding enough to encourage you to keep trying regardless.

What can I say, I’m one of those sickos that actually liked, and beat Demon’s Souls; and is likely to do so again before picking up the sequel once it comes out.

By comparison, sacrificing a few hours of my life to Castlevania seems like fuckin’ cake.

Anyway, the point of this post, I think; is that I think I’m gonna’ challenge myself to sit down and beat Castlevania sometime soon.

Castlevania isn’t my favorite series of games, nor do I have all that much history with it, if any; this is just me saying I’m gonna’ kill me some vampires ’cause I think I’ve got what it takes to do it.

I don’t think I’ll be doing a Let’s Play, so you’ll just have to take my word for whatever accomplishments/failures I encounter.

Anyway, wish me luck!

"Pizza delivery for Mr. Dracula... Hello?... Bueller?"

 

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Fight Night Champion Is Pretty. In An Ugly Sort Of Way…

Excuse my lame post for tonight, I’m a little scatter-brained at the moment.

I suppose it doesn’t help that I’m currently playing through Uncharted 2: Among Thieves for the first time, and am very much enjoying it.

Anyway, in the interest of saving myself from having to half-ass an article tonight, as well getting me back to playing Uncharted as quickly as fucking possible; I’ve decided to use this opportunity to show you a neat video:

Haha, just kidding; the real clip’s just a little bit further down.

The clip below is the latest promotional video for EA Canada’s upcoming boxing game, Fight Night Champion.

While I bashed the game’s roster of real-life boxers in a previous article, as a long time player of the Fight Night series; I have high hopes for this one.

Supposedly the game has been tweaked to shit, hopefully for the better; not to mention the game is also the first in the series to receive an “M for Mature” rating.

Here’s hoping the rating has more to do with the blood-letting and atmosphere than it does nudity and gratuitous dropping of F-Bombs.

Seriously man, few things can cripple a products legitimacy in the mainstream than excessive and childish swearing.

Case in point: Kane and Lynch. I suppose it doesn't help either that it wasn't very good, but whatever...

Anyway, the clip below does little to showcase any updates or changes to the gameplay formula, however despite this; it’s pretty to look at, in an ugly sort of way, so please enjoy:

In the interest of using this article to actually, y’know; say something, I’d like to point out that it seems like punches are more difficult to land than in previous Fight Nights.

Previous games in the series featured a fairly generous amount of “auto-aim” for one’s punches, a factor that was directly associated with one’s “Punch Accuracy” stat in Fight Night 4.

While this probably remains unchanged in Fight Night Champion, I couldn’t help but notice in this clip, and indeed other clips as well; that instances of punches winging around their intended target, or missing outright, occurred quite frequently.

I can’t say how I feel about this, but if the gameplay is on par with Fight Night 4, I’ll most likely cough up the money to own this one.3

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