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Azn Badger’s Top 25 NES Tracks, #5-1

It’s been a helluva’ a wait, but we’ve finally reached the Top 5 of the Best NES Tracks!

Despite the awesomeness of all that has come before, you may as well consider the past 20 entries on this list a prelude to the sheer epic-ness of the music about to grace your ears.

Seriously man, every track from this point on is guaranteed, 100% 8-bit gold.

So, without further ado, I present to you the cream of the crop, the pimpest of the pimp, the God-tier of the Top 25 NES Tracks:

#5. Double Dragon 2: The Revenge

“Roar of the Double Dragons”


That’s right kids, no the “Double Dragon Theme” didn’t make the list.

The truth is, while the Double Dragon Theme music is downright amazing, (in all of it’s iterations) in my opinion the Double Dragon 2 version of “Roar of the Double Dragons” trumps it by inches.

Remember that fatty ass post I made about how I used to play Double Dragon 2 with my brother all the time?

Well, that post, and all of the nostalgic goodness found within it pretty much sum up both why a Double Dragon game is ranked so high on this list, as well as why “Roar of the Double Dragons” in particular is my favorite track from the franchise.

I shit you not, watching my brother start to get the upper hand on the final boss of the game, only to have this adrenaline pumping theme of awesomeness suddenly pop up and put a big fat crescendo on the drama of the situation, was a gaming memory I will treasure forever.

 

 

It was pretty much the gaming equivalent to this.

 

In my opinion, “Roar of the Double Dragons” is easily one the best boss tracks ever.

Not only that, it’s just about the perfect final boss theme for a Double Dragon game, so much so that one could consider it a sort of sub-theme music of the series.

Whether the Double Dragons are fighting Machine Gun Willie, the Shadow Master, or even the fuckin’ Dark Queen alongside the Battletoads; the music I will always hear playing in my head is “Roar of the Double Dragons.”

Wow, I just realized Technos has a lot of games on this list…

#4. Ducktales

“The Moon”


For veterans of gaming music, this one was a no-brainer.

Seriously man, look up any compilation of the “best NES music,” and you’re bound to find “The Moon” from Capcom’s Ducktales game among the top of the list.

Well, call me conformist if you will, but godddamnit; “The Moon” really is that fucking good.

 

We're talkin' Moon Pie good!

 

I love the pace of it, how it starts from a slow build, and then explodes into a beautifully electric and catchy tune that never lets up.

Let it be known, this is one piece of music that actually benefits from the tinniness and technical limitations of 8-bit sound quality, as it lends the track a sort of retro space age-y charm.

 

 

Pictured: Retro Space Age-y Charm.

 

A huge success of “The Moon,” and indeed most Capcom games of the time, (Ducktales included) was how well the music went with the setting of the stage.

Sure the mine stage had suitably subterranean sounding music, sure the jungle level’s background music was, uh, “jungle-y,” but “The Moon” really fucking sounded like what the 5 year old me thought music on the Moon would sound like.

Yes, I am aware that sound waves don’t propogate in a vacuum.

Fuck you, I WAS 5.

#3. Nekketsu Kakutou Densetsu

“Title Theme”


Okay, I’ll admit it; I’m cheating a little with this one.

Nekketsu Kakutou Densetsu, (Hot-Blooded Fighting Legend) while technically an 8-bit game compatible with NES hardware, is actually a Japanese exclusive Famicom game.

Personally, I consider them basically the same system, but I see how this one could piss some people off, especially since it’s so high on the list.

Either way, it’s my list, so:

*Ahem!* Kakutou Densetsu is yet another Technos game that stars the companies flagship character, Kunio-kun.

 

 

Yes, he will in fact straight up wreck your shit.

 

For those that are unaware, Kunio is a high school tough guy that starred in many of Technos’ games, among which were a few entries on this list, namely the Japanese versions of River City Ransom and Super Dodge Ball.

Anyway, Kakutou Densetsu was a game I stumbled across through “untraditional means” sometime in high school.

As soon as the “Title Theme” hit my ears, I was In Like mother-fuckin’ Flint.

 

Yes, I heard the title theme and was suddenly turned into James Coburn and surrounded by beautiful women.

 

Being produced in 1992, fairly late in the NES’ lifespan, the fidelity of the music for Kakutou Densetsu was a step above what I was accustomed to hearing from the system.

In short, every piece of music in Kakutou Densetsu was amazingly good, with the “Title Theme” easily being the best of the bunch.

Not only that, the game itself was unbelievably complex, graphically impressive, and good fun all rolled into 1.

 

Let it be known, fan-translations are not always 100% accurate...

While many of my friends took to playing arcade games through “untraditional means” in their high school years, I just couldn’t get enough of Kakutou Densetsu.

I loved the birthday and blood-type based character creation.

I loved the complexity of the fighting system.

And I fuckin’ loved Toraji and Toraichi.

 

Pictured: The inspiration for Toraji and Toraichi.

 

If you haven’t played Kakutou Densetsu, I suggest you give it a try, if not for the amazing music, then for the kick-ass Technos style fighting action!

#2. Ninja Gaiden 2: The Dark Sword of Chaos

“A Long Way to Go”


Ah, Ninja Gaiden, yet another game series that shit on me in my youth.

It’s no mystery that Tecmo’s Ninja Gaiden series is well known for it’s extreme difficulty level, and while Ninja Gaiden 2 on the NES is far from the toughest of the series, I’ll always be proud of myself for beating it back in the day.

Make no mistake, I lost many hours and days of my youth to Ninja Gaiden 2.

While living with the knowledge that I had beat the game was more than reward enough, imagine my surprise when “A Long Way to Go” hit my ears.

“A Long Way to Go” is, in my opinion; one of the finest ending themes for a game ever.

 

Unlike this pile of ass...

 

While it doesn’t go the RPG route and revisit all of the major musical motifs of the game over a span of, oh, 10-15 minutes; “A Long Way to Go” is an awe-inspiring piece of music with a title that perfectly captures the emotions it evokes.

Whenever I hear it, images come to mind of a battle worn hero reaching the end of an epic journey, only to set out on another immediately afterwards; the tiniest glimmer of giddy excitement and enthusiasm drawing across his face as he does.

Okay, maybe the real ending just consisted of a slide-show of sorts, but give me a break, I have a wild imagination…

“A Long Way to Go” was a satisfying reward for my time served with Ninja Gaiden 2, and I’ll always treasure it as one of my favorite pieces of music in gaming.

Now that we’ve got the first 24 down, it’s time to move onto the ‘ole numero uno…

The big kahuna…

The big cheese…

The dancing destroyer…

The Count of Monte Fisto…

The BEST Track in NES history…

#1. Mega Man 3

“Title Theme”


In the realm of 8-bit music, Mega Man is king.

 

 

KING.

 

Few could argue that the Mega Man series has yielded some of the finest and most memorable 8-bit tunes in history, if not in terms of sheer quality of product; then at least in terms of sheer volume.

While the debate will forever rage as to which game in the series is best, 2 or 3; (I think 2, but obviously 3 has an edge in terms of music…) for my money the “Title Theme” of Mega Man 3 is the best musical arrangement produced by any entry in the series.

Being as it is also #1 on this list, I suppose that also means I think it’s the best piece of music from any game on the NES.

The “Title Theme” of Mega Man 3 is a musical revelation.

Like Capcom’s own “The Moon” from Ducktales, it begins with a slow build.

I love how it starts out oh so mellow, stringing you along with it’s jazzy and borderline melancholy tune.

From there, the tune rapidly increases in pitch, reaches a crescendo and then…

And then you jizz in your pants because your ears just got raped by the golden cocks of pack of musical Japanese angels.

 

Like this, but with Japanese angel rape.

 

To attempt to illustrate the majesty of this track any further, is to struggle with the futility of the fact that there simply aren’t any words in the English language awesome enough to describe it.

The “Title Theme” and “Dr. Wily’s Castle #1” tracks from Mega Man 2, while definitely listed among the runner-ups of the top-tier, don’t come anywhere near the majesty of the Mega Man 3 “Title Theme” in my eyes.

I’ve said it before on this blog, but the careful arrangement of this list only serves to reiterate that the Mega Man 3 “Title Theme” is my favorite piece of NES music, and is therefore the Best NES Track of all time.

Tune in tomorrow, when we’ll peruse a handful of the runner-ups!

If you had a favorite that wasn’t on the Top 25, hopefully they’ll make an appearance tomorrow.

Please feel free to post your opinions!

Filed under: Games, Movies, The Top 25 NES Tracks, Uncategorized, Wrestling, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Best Boss Music #6: Kirby Superstar

Let’s get one thing straight: King Dedede is the shit.

Just check out his unbelievably pimptastic theme music that just happens to be the Best Boss Music for today’s post:

If you can’t appreciate the awesomeness that is a gigantic penguin wearing a kimono/Santa robe, while carrying an equally gigantic mallet, IN A WRESTLING RING mind you, then you can go fuck yourself.

This NEEDS to happen.

Seriously, you better find yourself a Maglite or some shit to sit on, otherwise I’ll come find your ass.

FOH’ REAL.

It's waiting...

*Ahem!* ANYWAY, King Dedede is of course, regular villain/rival character in the Kirby universe of games.

In the first game, Kirby’s Dreamland for the Nintendo Game Boy, King Dedede is the primary villain, for just about the coolest reason ever:

The fat fuck stole all the food in Dreamland!

Kid’s game or not, that is just about the coolest evil scheme I’ve ever heard of in videogames.

That fat, gluttonous fuck...

Unfortunately, that equally fat fuck, Kirby, shows up and saves the day, puking stars all over poor Dedede in his own wrestling arena.

Or if you're a cheap ass, you just throw bombs n'shit at him...

This would prove to the norm for most Kirby games, of which there are far too many for me to cover in this article, let alone give two shits about.

Seriously, in my book it goes:  Kirby’s Dreamland, Kirby’s Adventure, Kirby Superstar, and then all of those sinfully addictive Super Smash Bros. games.

DID NOT HAPPEN.

I am fully aware that there are a shit ton of spin-offs and Japanese exclusive games, but like I said, I haven’t got the time, nor the testicular fortitude to write about all of that.

The one game I will talk about in detail however, is Kirby Superstar, as that is the game that plays host to the Best Boss Music track for today.

Kirby Superstar is a standard Super NES Kirby platformer, with the same jumping, floating, eating, and pooping style gameplay of it’s predecessor, Kirby’s Adventure on the NES.

Incontinence: No Laughing Matter.

Taking full advantage of the Super NES’s enhanced capabilities, Superstar was packed to the brim with extra features to go with it’s improved graphics and sound.

With no real “main story mode,” Kirby Superstar nevertheless featured a whopping, 9 different modes of play.

Spring Breeze was the first mode unlocked, which was basically a Super NES remake of the original Kirby’s Dreamland.

This was followed by a mode called Dyna Blade, wherein Kirby embarks on a mission to calm a rampaging bird creature of the same name.

Next came Gourmet Race, which was a multi-heat platforming mode wherein Kirby and King Dedede must compete with one another to collect food while racing to the finish line.

The Great Cave Offensive was an especially unique and robust mode involving a romp through a massive cave while hunting or 60 treasure chests scattered throughout.

Revenge of Meta Knight was an especially difficult mode starring Meta Knight as the main villain, and featuring a dialogue-heavy plot line.

This was probably my favorite of the “story modes.”

Milky Way Wishes is the last of the story modes, involving Kirby’s battle against a comet named Nova using a Mega Man style weapon inventory.

The Arena was the Kirby equivalent to “boss rush” or “survival mode,” wherein the player’s task was simply to defeat the game’s boss character one after another with just one life.

The last two modes in the game were a pair of timing based mini-games called Samurai Kirby and Megaton Punch.

The objectives were to slash one’s opponent first,

or punch a stone slab the hardest respectively.

These modes took only a matter of seconds to complete, however this by no means meant they were easy.

On the contrary, they were quite difficult, but more importantly, they were crazy fun.

Smacking King Dedede upside the head with a party whistle, and literally punching the planet in half are gaming accomplishments that are hard to forget.

I was gonna' Photoshop something, but then I found THIS.

Aside from these last two mini-games, every other mode in the game had a co-op feature using Kirby’s powers of “pooping” out partner characters as a means of creating a second player character.

With all those modes, Kirby Superstar was a vibrant and incredibly varied platformer for it’s day.

Also, along with Kirby Superstar’s brilliant iteration of King Dedede’s theme, (easily my favorite version of it) the game had an overall kick-ass soundtrack.

Standouts include the remixed version of the Green Greens theme:

The Intro Stage of the Revenge of Meta Knight mode:

Not only that, but it’s also worth noting that the standard Boss theme would also be a decent competitor for Best Boss Music had it not been from the same game as King Dedede’s theme.

Giant Penguin, Second-In-Command only to the Mighty Space Bobcat...

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