Azn Badger's Blog

What About the Lysine Contingency…?

Went To First Thursday. Got Teleported…

Pictured: Me. Yah' dumbass...

I went to First Thursday with my buddy Mencius this evening.

It was alright.

At one of the galleries they had a webcam set up that let you take photos of yourself that looked like a cross between an audio level sensor, and a hacked Kinect display.

Anyway, I think the show was called Design Less Better.

It wasn’t great, but oh well, free photos.

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OMFG: Hulk Hogan’s Main Event

I’ve written exactly 1 article detailing my thoughts on the Xbox Kinect.

Said article consisted of an ungodly amount of pissing and moaning regarding my general disinterest in the technical innovations the peripheral offered, as well some whining about how many of them I had to pack while working at the Amazon.com warehouse during it’s launch.

To this day, I have yet to visit a household in possession of a Kinect, nor have I had any desire to make a fool of myself on the demo rig at my local Best Buy.

In short, I have little to no interest in the Kinect as a gaming peripheral/LIFESTYLE CHANGING, LIVING ROOM DOMINATING APPLIANCE, nor have I ever found myself viewing any of the software designed for it as anything less than high-budget niche market tripe.

Well, let me tell yah’ somethin’ brothers, today I heard about a game being developed for the Kinect that, if it should live up to any of it’s potential, I might just might end up eating my words.

Said game is of course the upcoming, Hulk Hogan’s Main Event.

WHATCHA' GONNA' DOOOOOOOO!!!!!??????

From what I can tell, the game utilizes the motion sensor to gauge the players movements as they perform not just wrestling strikes and movements, but crowd pumping gesticulations as well.

It would be really awesome if all this included not just winning wrestling matches, but “selling” them as well.

I ask you, how cool would it be to thrash around your living room pretending to get your ass kicked by an imaginary/digital wrestler opponent?

I think Hulk Hogan is lending his voice and likeness to the game as well, though I’m not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing at this point.

The Hulkster has been kind of hit and miss since his days at the WWF, and given that he’s supposed to be a trainer of some sort in the game, I’m guessing the Hulk we’d be getting would be more in line with American Gladiators Hogan:

… Let’s just forget that all happened, ‘k?
In other words, Hulk’s in it; but I’m only excited if it’s the real HULK HOGAN as opposed to the recently divorced corporate whore we’ve been seeing the past few years.

In my mind, I picture the game as being kind of a like a dance game, but cast in the skin of a wrestling and entrance walk simulator.

I know it sounds dumb, and the chances of it being at all a technically sound production are slim to none, but I ask you this:

What self respecting MAN wouldn’t want to try their hand at strutting down the ramp to the ring at Wrestlemania while aping the hand motions and posture of Hulk Hogan?

Hell, I’ve done played out this scenario both in real life and in my head plenty of times, but the idea of seeing my own wrestling avatar play out these same motions, to music and fireworks etc., just sounds fuckin’ awesome.

Anyway, the game will probably suck some serious balls, but if I ever see a demo of it; rest assured I will man-up and give it a shot.

If said scenario should ever come into play, expect to see some video footage of my performance at some point…

I guess this will have to do for now...

 

Filed under: Games, Uncategorized, Wrestling, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Kinect Better Be Freakin’ Brilliant…

Today at the Amazon.com warehouse, we started shipping the Kinect peripheral for the Xbox 360.

By that I mean, the entire warehouse was thrown into chaos trying to handle the massive number of orders for the Kinect while simultaneously dealing with the daily volume of shit to ship out.

About 90% of the packages I handled today were Kinects, slim Xbox 360s, or Kinects packaged with slim Xbox 360s.

It was a fuckin’ circus if I ever saw one.

Apparently, I haven't seen one.

Things got so crazy in the morning that I was demoted from the cherished and admired position of “shipper” to that of the lowly (and mostly made up) job of “Xbox Thrower.”

While I may have made up the name myself; I assure you, it’s very much self-explanatory.

That being said, if you ordered an Xbox, Kinect, or Xbox with a Kinect; there’s a good chance it may arrive on your doorstep smashed, pissed on, or set on fire; ’cause I tell yah’, I was in one helluva’ hurry, and no force on Earth, managerial or otherwise was gonna’ stop me.

Whoops! Sorry about that!

Anyway, sometime during the “festivities” of “Kinect Day” at Amazon; it occurred to me that despite the hoopla and hype; I personally didn’t feel much excitement about the Kinect.

Sure, I’m a casual gamer at best; and I did just jump ship to the Playstation 3, but as someone fairly in-touch with the gaming world, I felt like I should be feeling at least something about the Kinect.

Truth be told, I really don’t know much about the Kinect.

I know it’s a hands-free motion-control device that can’t track motion from people wearing skirts.

I approve.

 

That’s about it though.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I have exactly 1 friend that owns a Playstation Move.

Pictured: Said Korean. He made this, not me.

Before the release of the Move, I took the time to read an article or 2 here and there, and from what I read, it seemed like a decent idea.

“Decent,” but not great.

Having handled the Move awhile back, I can honestly say that the motion tracking is quite accurate, and left me feeling that the peripheral could indeed be used for some interesting gameplay mechanics.

That still doesn’t make it any more than a “decent” idea for the time being.

Though I really don’t know much about the Kinect, it sounds like more of a lifestyle accessory as opposed to a gaming peripheral.

What I mean to say is, based on the rebranding that Microsoft that been slapping on all of their products in anticipation of Kinect’s release, (18-24 year olds, and green and purple “swooshes,” anyone?) it genuinely seems that their aim is to get people goofing off in front of their TV as part of their daily life, as opposed to getting people to goof around in front of their TV for the purposes of playing videogames.

Now, you too can stand alone in your living room and wave at your TV to update your Facebook! Microsoft, bringing you only most crucial of lifestyle innovations!

It’s a sound idea, and indeed one that appeals to the same broad audience entranced by the mystifyingly simplistic motion-control scheme of the Wii; but personally I just don’t see it working.

Yet…

I can’t speak to the quality of the Kinect’s motion-controls, as my only exposure to it came in the form of watching a bunch of kids in a mall test it out; (the rafting game didn’t work so hot…) but the general feeling I get, is that the technology needs a little more time to grow.

Maybe I’m just being curmudgeony and cynical, but lifestyle altering, gesture-activated living room technology just doesn’t seem to me like something that Microsoft could get “right” on their first swing.

Hell, now that you mention it, this doesn’t sound like the kind of product Microsoft could manufacture without it having a failure rate of, oh; 99%.

Anyway, after chucking around the Kinect all day, I figured I’d post my thoughts, well; actually lack of thoughts, on the Kinect.

Seriously, this thing was so off my radar until today, you don’t even know…

For the record, while I have exactly 1 friend with a Move, I know exactly none that have shown interest in the Kinect.

Must be all the “swooshes”…

SWOOSHES!!!!!!!!

 

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