Azn Badger's Blog

What About the Lysine Contingency…?

And Now, Kane Fucking Up The G.T.S.

3 Things:

1. I don’t care to know why CM Punk is wearing a mask for this match.

2. The knee was supposed to hit Kane in the head as opposed to the man-titty.

3. Kane was supposed to fall backwards

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Remember When Stone Cold Started Saying “What?”

It’s funny, as much as I’ve loved watching the WWF over the years, particularly in my youth; I can actually pinpoint a few fairly specific elements/events that lead to me completely turning my back on wrestling for nearly a decade.

First and foremost, was the general dearth of quality talent in the mid-2000’s.

Both The Rock and Austin had just left the company, and while guys like Chris Jericho, Triple H, Kurt Angle, and, *sigh* Brock Lesnar did what they could to carry the torch, the void left by the 2 legends was just too damn big.

Moreover, by this point the WCW and ECW guys had fully integrated into the roster by this point, resulting in much of the hype and mystique surrounding some of them giving way to the reality of their somewhat eroded in-ring ability.

In short, when the big 2 left, I stopped tuning in for the whole show, instead checking in just to catch the main events from week to week.

Next, was the fact that the quality of the storylines were beginning to flounder at times with atrocious bullshit like the “Katie Vick Incident” becoming increasingly commonplace.

It’s a long story, but in case you’re wondering, the “Katie Vick” storyline involved Kane accidentally killing his girlfriend in a car crash years back, resulting in Triple H mocking her memory by… Dressing up like Kane and fucking a mannequin:

Like I said, long fuckin’ story.

Not worth going into.

Finally, and I might be alone on this one, I feel like the nail in the coffin for my relationship with wrestling in the early 2000’s just might have been Stone Cold’s adoption of “What?” as his new catchphrase.

Listening to Stone Cold, be reduced to a mic toting clown and stumble his way through his promos every week, shouting “WHAT?” at random intervals, was more than a little annoying.

Truth be told, I was never really a diehard Stone Cold fan, largley because he often feuded with The Rock; who I actually was a diehard fan of.

I always “liked” Austin, but he was always 2nd or 3rd banana to The Rock in my book.

That being said, Austin’s “What?” catchphrase was absolutely maddening to behold.

Not only was he not nearly as funny as I think he was expected to be, but to hear the crowd shout “What?” at every pause, in every promo, often times out of synch with the man himself, or worse yet; during promos that he was neither a part of nor mentioned in, was one of the most annoying weekly occurrences I can recall in wrestling.

Well, outside of watching X-Pac do his Bronco Buster twice a fuckin’ night…

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Remember When Kane Took His Mask Off And Ruined His Character?


Kane was never one of my favorites in the WWF.

In terms of overall ability, he’s notable in the sense that he’s one of the very few wrestlers of his size with decent speed and technical ability.

Not only that, his size and strength made him untouchable against anything but the absolute top tier of the talent in the organization; making him a rare title holder, but one that was almost always in title contention throughout his career.

Despite this, the man has never been all that capable on the mic, making his role as a monstrous masked mute one that largely played to his strengths.

I never really liked Kane in his masked persona, however I respected the role he occupied.

Wrestling, and indeed most things, always benefits from having a big guy that doesn’t talk and puts people away.

Like faces and heels, big monsters are just something wrestling always has a need for.

In addition to the anonymity and menace provided by the mask though, Kane also benefited from being able to be portrayed as a sympathetic figure.

I can recall several storylines wherein Kane was tricked or betrayed by the few that he could call friends, leading to instances where one could actually feel sorry for the big red retard.

Once Kane lost the mask, despite gaining a face; in my eyes he lost a great deal of personality.

The old Kane was supposed to be dark and disturbed by nature.

The new Kane liked to wear goofy contact lenses and tell the audience how dark and disturbed he was through10 minute mic performances.

... And shitty horror films.

Needless to say, the new Kane still had a great deal of physical ability, however his bald head and poor mic skills made him far less intriguing as a character, and more than a little obnoxious at times.

To this day, I still look at Kane as being kind of lame, however whatever interest or respect I might of had for him in my youth largely dissipated the moment he took his damn mask off.

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Remember When Kane Got Flamethrower-ed?

It’s funny, when I first started writing this post, (5 minutes ago) I actually had never seen the clip above.

Honestly, I felt kind of bad knowing that I missed this one back in ’99.

Hell, it’s not every day Triple H throws on a Goldust costume and flamethrowers the shit out of Kane.

Is it wrong that the likelihood of someone, that wasn’t Dustin Rhodes; donning a Goldust costume was actually less than the chances of someone chucking fire in the face of their opponent during the Attitude Era?


God I love The King’s girly scream in that clip…

Bullshit aside, the really funny part about this article, is the fact that I actually have memories (but sadly no clips…) of a different incident in which someone took a flamethrower to Kane’s face.

You see, I remember an instance when X-Pac, at the time a tag partner with Kane; betrayed the big-red-retard and ambushed him on the ramp with a flamethrower.

I know Kane’s whole gimmick was based around him having been burned/deformed in the past, but to know that the man had flames tossed in his face on no less than 2 separate occasions in the ring just seems kind of silly.

Hell, just the idea of anyone getting flamethrower-ed in a pro-wrestling match seems just a little over-the-top.

“Over-the-top” in the super awesome, ratings snatching kind of way, mind you.

Oh well, I guess I was just spoiled by growing up with the wrestling I did…

Why The Attitude Era of Wrestling Was Great: FLAMETHROWERS

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