Azn Badger's Blog

What About the Lysine Contingency…?

Christmas Tree 2011

Pictured: Behold, our glorious (artificial) tree, complete with all the trimmings!

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The 2nd of July – Azn Badger Style

The above clip was taken yesterday (or very early this morning if you want to get technical about it) out in the woods of Redmond, where some friends of mine own a plot of land.

Of the many activities we partook of out there, airsoft, bonfires, and fireworks took up the bulk of our time.

That being said, the clip above shows what happens when a bunch of idiots venture out into the woods with Roman Candles and zero common sense.

I apologize for the volume of my yelling, however in my defense; one of those projectiles came literally within a few feet of smacking me square in the chest.

Hopefully you all had as fun a 2nd of July that I did!

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Merry Christmas From The Azn Badger!

Merry Christmas everyone!

Like the tree?

Sadly, it’s an artificial one, as the Azn Badger’s mother has allergies to Christmas trees of the real variety.

Even so, I think it looks pretty snazzy.

Anyway, here’s some more photos of the Azn Badger’s Christmas decorations:

Behold, the mound of gifts!

Pictured: The Azn Badger's brother's train set.

Pictured: The distinguished passengers of the Azn Badger's brother's train set...

Hope everyone had a happy and a healthy, see you tomorrow!

 

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Peak Season: DEFEATED. Cue Celebratory Farley Clip.

Well folks, the Azn Badger’s peak season adventure at Amazon has officially wrapped.

Well, my peak season anyway; I’m sure there’s a shit ton of people from other shifts that still have to work, but I’m done, and frankly that’s the only thing that matters.

Anyway, here’s hoping I don’t get laid off in the next few weeks!

If I do, it’s probably for the best, being as I honestly don’t feel like living out the rest of my days using my 4 year arts degree to boast the honor of being a “professional box maker.”

Also, I suppose the $3.50 (each way) toll that’s going to start applying to my commute across the 5-20 bridge every day, would also serve as a reason to celebrate my termination at Amazon.

Anyway, with the completion of another blistering, though atypically only 40 hour work week; I present to you this week’s celebratory Farley clip:
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/player.swf

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In A Bizarre Twist Of Fate, Something Good Happened At Work Today!

How Do Asian People Smile? With The Aid of Expensive and Specialized Tools, Of Course.

Remember gym class in middle school?

Remember how you basically got an “A” just for changing into your gym clothes?

Well, don’t let anyone tell you that just plain showing up for work everyday isn’t without it’s benefits; because I just got a 16 GB Zune Touch HD for doing exactly that!

Oooooh.... Fancy...

Oh yeah, and I also got a wall charger/USB adaptor, and a screen cleaning kit to go with it.

Tower of Power, baby... Tower of Power...

FOH’ FREE Y’ALL!

*Ahem!* Sorry.  We Japanese don’t gloat all too often, but when it comes to the acquisition of fancy and overpriced material goods, we just can’t help ourselves.

Anyway, turns out there was some sort of lottery involving the various employees at the warehouse with a certain standard of attendance, and my name just happened to be pulled for the second prize.

It’s kind of funny really, I honestly didn’t know anything about a drawing or prizes or what not; which made the whole experience of being told I had won something all the more surreal.

Trust me, as awesome as the Azn Badger may seem in print, in person he is very much a mustelid (look it up, retard) of the loser-ly variety.

That being said, I was absolutely blown away by the announcement, such that I honestly didn’t believe it at first.

I think it goes without saying, that despite all the hardship and long hours at work lately, (particulary of the “frozen” variety…) a silly little thing like getting second prize in a lottery I didn’t even know I had entered really did a lot to perk me up.

In fact, I’d even go so far as to say that it made me “happy.”

It’s kind of funny actually, when the subcontractor correspondent approached me to tell me about the prize, my first reaction was to steel myself in anticipation of bad news along the lines of:

“You accidentally shipped a dildo and House of 1000 Corpses to a child for Christmas.  You sir, Mr. Badger; are fired.”

Or,

“You’re slow.  And dumb.  And you smell of lamb shanks and feces.  Now, get back to work dick fur.”

In retrospect, the sunny and inviting smile on their face probably should’ve tipped me off to their intentions, but give me a break; I’m Azn, we’re good at misinterpreting things like faces, and y’know; English.

Anyway, after far too many days of freezer duty, my hands are a cracked and, quite literally, bloody mess right now; resulting in the necessary application of bag balm.

Word to the wise:

Never type with balmy jism on your hands; it can get very messy…

With bag jizz all over my hands, I’m not really able to handle my shiny new Zune at the moment, so I’m thinking I’ll wait a day or 2 to fire her up.

Damn that thing's reflective... A little smaller than I expected too.

Hell, I can wait, after all; it’s not everyday you get a free toy, much less a $200+ one…

Oh well, happy early Christmas to me I guess!

 

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Happy Thanksgiving From The Azn Badger!

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Jack O’ Lanterns, Azn Badger Style!

Tonight was pumpkin carving night at the house of the Azn Badger.

I’ve been “a little too old” for Jack O’ Lanterns for probably 5 years now, but as long as my mother insists on keeping the tradition alive; I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of it.

That being said, this year my dad “acquired” (don’t ask…) about 6 big ass pumpkins, leaving me, my mother, my brother and his girlfriend with our work cut out for us.

As far as annual pumpkin carvings go, this one was a lot of fun.

Not only that, but as you’ll see below, the pumpkins ended up pretty awesome.

We’ll start off with the Azn Badger’s:

Don’t mind the smudged mess in the top-left corner. That’s just my brother…

BOO-YAH-KA-SHA!!

That’s what I call a mother-fuckin’ pumpkin!

In case you couldn’t tell, the face was somewhat influenced by the Predator of the franchise of the same name.

Oh yeah, and the eyes came from Venom from Spider-Man…

Yeah, I have no original thoughts whatsoever.

ANYWAY, next up is my brother’s pumpkin:

The first word that came to mind when I saw my brother’s pumpkin was “cute.”

That’s right, I called a man’s pumpkin “cute.”

I’m not a fairy or anything, I’m just calling it like it is.

Also, don’t go make any assumptions about my brother just ’cause his pumpkin’s cute n’shit.

My brother’s a fuckin’ PIMP, and don’t you forget it, son.

Not ghey.

Next up is my brother’s girlfriend’s pumpkin:

Described by it’s creator as looking vaguely like a “confused baby,” this pumpkin has as much capacity to inspire as it does terrify those that gaze upon it.

Honestly, looking at this thing gives me the willies.

It’s like one of those faceless white masks that that one breakdance troupe wore awhile back.

You know it’s a face, you know it’s female; but you haven’t the slightest clue what it wants from you/wants to do to you.

That being said, let’s move on to my mom’s pumpkin before I die a horrible The Ring-esque death as a result of looking at this pumpkin for too long:

My mom is… “Artistic”… Yeah, we’ll go with that…

This was another “cute” pumpkin, though “odd” would probably fit just as well too.

The construction of it is actually kind of interesting, as the massive “nose” of the pumpkin is actually attached to the lid portion of the top of the pumpkin, which causes the whole thing to look kind of like a Spartan helmet.

Again, I have no original thoughts of my own.  All I know is taken from movies and videogames.

*Ahem!* Anyway, my mom always goes out of her way to make fun and decidedly original pumpkins every year, and this time around was no exception.

Anyway, just thought I’d share some photos and save myself an evening of writing.

Take care this Halloween!

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