Azn Badger's Blog

What About the Lysine Contingency…?


Alrighty folks, as Barney stated in the clip above, as of this moment; IT BEGINS.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but over the past several days I’ve been very lazy in writing posts for this blog.

I still enjoy writing, but the fact of the matter is, I’ve been in a rut for a long time now, both in regards to this blog and life in general.

That being said, I’m not the sort to give up easily.

After all, I’m one of those guys took it up the ass long enough to eventually beat Demon’s Souls and is likely going to end up doing the same with Dark Souls.

I really don’t know what to expect from this, but I’d like to take this opportunity to ask you, the reader; to let me know what you’d like to see me do in future posts.

As much as I know there’s a demand for it, I’m not gonna’ post photos of my dick or anything like that, but if you’d like to say, see me draw something, or write an article on a particular topic; I’d be more than willing to accomodate your requests.

Anyway, here’s hoping I get a lot of responses, or at the very least, a few good ones.

Seriously folks, don’t waste my motherfuckin’ time….

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Demon’s Souls Is Hard…



So, I bought Demon’s Souls from a friend the other day.

He told me he played it for 5 hours and then called it quits.

This is coming from a Korean fellow that specializes in, as he phrases it; “beasting” games faster than they can come out.

As fate would have it, there would be no “beasting” of Demon’s Souls for my Korean buddy.

In fact one could go so far as to say that the game “beasted” him.

Despite this, like a fool I thought I could do what my friend could not.

Before I bought the game, I read scores of reviews singing the praise of Demon’s Souls, and heralding it’s difficulty level as the Battletoads equivalent to the modern era of gaming.

While it does indeed seem like it could be a great game, make no mistake; Demon’s Souls is a punishingly difficult game, to the extent that it feels borderline unfair.

As of writing this, I’m barely 2 hours into the game, and I’ve done exactly nothing.

My first created character was a Barbarian.

I set out into the game with the mindset of creating a Conan-esque tank, however to my surprise; the Barbarian was just about the worst choice to do so, at least in the beginning stages of the game.

Turns out, despite their inherent physicality, Barbarians start out the game with no armor, and some of the worst equipment imaginable.

Not good when the game derives most of your survivability from your equipment and armor rather than your stats.

Despite spending about an hour getting a good feel for the timing and nuance of the game’s control scheme, (while dieing about 9,000 times…) I found that; for a beginner level player, a Barbarian was simply too fragile for my skill level.

Enter my second character within an hour of starting the game, a much sturdier and well-equipped Knight.

Well, after dieing every 5 minutes as my Knight, I think I can honestly say that he’s probably going to be my primary character from now on.

Every time I play Demon’s Souls, I feel like I’m moving a half-step forward, only to get thrown 20 feet back every 5 minutes.

When I said the game felt borderline unfair, I was referring largely to the checkpoint and currency systems.

The checkpoint system is a pain in the ass because, well; near as I can tell there are none.

This wouldn’t be a problem except, unlike friendlier games like Diablo; Demon’s Souls has no “scroll of Town Portals.”

Not only that, Demon’s Souls thoroughly rapes you by forcing you to reclaim your “souls” (money) while wading through every enemy in the level up to that point.

Enemy placement is always the same, and any entry or exit of a level causes them all to respawn.

My main issue with the currency system, is not that you lose all your money when you die, but that there’s no banking or storage system in the game.

Do I really have to carry all of my wealth on me at all times?

Seriously man, if you had 5,000 souls of demon’s in your possession would you go walkin’ around with ’em in your wallet?

No, you’d put ’em in a fuckin’ bank.

That being said, the currency system is largely why I’m “nowhere” in the game as of yet.

Simply put, I can never survive long enough to save up my money to purchase items with.

Not that there’s any items I want/need anyway.

I suppose it doesn’t help either that I haven’t the slightest clue how to level up my character…

Anyway, I’m whining; so I’ll stop now.

As it stands, Demon’s Souls is a brutally difficult game, but for drastically different reasons than I am accustomed to in my “hard games.”

When it comes to twitch reflexes and memorization I.E. Contra, Raiden, Devil May Cry; I have no problem.

In the case of Demon’s Souls though, the game’s difficulty comes largely from the stringent rules of it’s gameplay, as well as the fact that timing and precision are the order of the day, rather than quick reaction time or fancy button combinations.

It’s a frustrating and loathesome game that truly hates it’s players, but truth be told; I actually feel compelled to keep trying at Demon’s Souls.

After a few years of getting raped by Battletoads, I put my controller down and said “No Mas.”

Though I’ve only spent a few hours with Demon’s Souls, those few hours have shown me that; despite all the teeth-gritting frustration, there still may in fact be a game worth experiencing hidden beneath it all.

Here’s hoping I’m right…

Filed under: Games, Movies, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Malware That Wouldn’t Die…

Ever had a Malware attack on your computer?

It’s a pain in the ass, ain’t it?

For the past year or so, I’ve had Malware attacks on my computer every couple of months or so.

I’m not sure if it’s a new one every time, or just a single, tenacious virus that continually goes dormant and resurfaces from time to time, but either way; Malware has been a thorn in my side for some time now.

Now, before you judge me, and call me some sort of technical newb or some shit; bear in mind that I am not a technical person.

Truth be told, I fuckin’ hate computers.

Honestly, if not for the computer being such an essential tool in this day and age; I really would prefer to stay away from them.

You see, computers; and indeed most of the software that run on them, are tools that deal in intangibles and rules.

For instance, when you’re working on say, Adobe Photoshop; you aren’t every actually putting your hands on the project you’re working on, rather you are manipulating the digital “object” within the confinements and restrictions of the toolset provided to you.

That’s where computers and the Azn Badger don’t mix.

You see, I tend to “feel my way around” most things in life.

I’m more of a sketch artist as opposed to a T-square wielding engineer.

I rarely ever use the right tool for the job, which often results in me getting things done; but not without exerting myself 10 times harder than I needed to.

That being said, when it comes to digital toolsets, or computers in general; you can’t really get away with this course of action.

You can’t “play” with a computer without first knowing “how.”

And that’s why things like Malware always manage to fuck me over for days, if not weeks at a time.

I’m familiar with the most basic means of combating them, however the Malware I’ve had for the past week or so has really got me on the ropes.

Needless to say, this new one is kind of tricky.

It’s far less visible than any other Malware/virus I’ve dealt with, largely because it doesn’t mess with my browser window or throw pop-ups at you like most others do.

No, this one is even courteous enough to give you an hour or so to play around on your computer before it affects anything at all.

Near as I can tell, whatever this thing is, it grabs hold of your memory and chokes it’s ass out, ’cause after an hour or so of tooling around on my computer; everything just grinds to a halt.

My main issue with this virus, is the fact that; despite the hour or so it gives me, that isn’t nearly long enough to run a virus scan.

My virus scan program, along with the whole computer, craps out probably 45 minutes to an hour before it can finish, allowing me to see that my computer is indeed infected, but not giving me enough time to quarantine/delete the infestation.

Some of the viruses that have been showing up in the scans (before it craps out mind you) are as follows:

Tracking Cookie



Gen-Deskryp [OSK]

Anyway, this has been yet another whiny rant from the Azn Badger.

Sorry about that.

I promise, the fun will return once I finally get my computer back to normal.


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