Azn Badger's Blog

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Thoughts on The Legend is Born: Ip Man

The Legend is Born: Ip Man contains scenes of Ip Man fighting ninjas.

Now, before all the haoles and Narutards in the room hop out of their seats with glee and go buy this movie, one should perhaps note that The Legend is Born is not a good movie.

In fact it’s so very far from “good,” that I’d so far as to say it’s “bad.”

That’s right, I called a kung fu movie bad.

You see, this was bad, but it was GOOD bad.

Trust me folks, if you’re looking for signs of the approaching apocalypse, me hating on a kung fu movie is one of them.

While Donnie Yen and Wilson Yip’s Ip Man films were at times melodramatic, and often predictable; both films did so while wielding style and production values that few pure martial arts movies can match.

That, and they had Donnie Yen leading the cast.

Ip Man, starring Donnie Yen's cock!

He might not be the best actor, but he beats people like no other; and in a martial arts flick sometimes that’s all you need.

Sadly, The Legend is Born has none of these various pluses going for it.

While it has a rather large cast of “name” genre actors, the production fails to utilize them properly by giving them a bland script, placing them amid lifeless and fake-y soundstages, and generally making no attempt to film the fight sequences in an interesting manner.

I ask you, just who the fuck is fighting who in this screenshot?

For those that care to know Sammo Hung is barely in it and truly seems like he’s “between projects,” (most likely he was filming Ip Man 2 simultaneously) Yuen Biao does pretty well given his limited role in the movie, and Fan Siu Wong is his always awesome self.

FUCK YEAH!

Despite the cast, it’s a horrendously mediocre film that fails to impress is any area, and ultimately left me feeling robbed of an hour and a half of my life.

To sum up, (as briefly as possible) the plot is basically a horribly fabricated account of Ip Man’s life from childhood to right up until just before the beginning of the first Wilson Yip Ip Man film in the early 1930’s.

In case you are wondering, the whole “Ip Man fighting ninjas” thing was indeed fabricated, as was the vast majority of the events in this film.

The film’s biggest, and most visible disappointment, comes in the form of the casting of Dennis To as Ip Man.

Wipe that smug look off your face... And get a haircut, hippie...

As I mentioned in my pre-screening thoughts on this movie, To did not strike me as leading man material.

Turns out I was right, as To’s performance, both as an actor and a fighter, is as wooden and vanilla as can be.

With enough training Dennis, someday you'll become a real boy!

As an actor taking on a film that bears the same name as his character, most of the story relies on his performance, to which he brings absolutely no spark of life or zeal.

While his Wing Chun form is quite good, and indeed indicative of his background in the martial art, his posture is extremely rigid and more importantly, his strikes lack any sort of weight or power behind them.

While the speed and accuracy of the close-quarters sparring is actually quite impressive, the lack of power behind the strikes is a problem with most of the choreography, that and the cinematography simply isn’t up to snuff.

Okay, this was perhaps the most needlessly over-the-top moves I've seen in awhile, and I for one thought it was hilarious.

Aside from a decent fight between Dennis To and the real life son of Ip Man, Ip Chun, (which makes heavy use of stunt doubles for Chun) and a lengthy and surprisingly physical brawl between To and Fan Siu Wong, there really aren’t any outstanding fights in The Legend is Born.

Though I’ve seen reviews crediting Sammo Hung as the choreographer for this film, I honestly have trouble believing that.

If he was in fact the choreographer, I’m sorry to say, very little, if any; of the movements and camera angles in The Legend is Born bear Sammo’s mark, and as such, the action simply doesn’t hold up to anything in his filmography.

The basic plot of the film is that of your basic “Japanese threaten Chinese culture and property, martial artist rectifies situation with fists” genre trope, however it does so in a very inorganic and just plain stupid manner.

Well, as inorganic and stupid as a plot involving ninja fights can manage anyway...

I shit you not, nearly all of the dozen or so fights in The Legend is Born (seriously, there’s a lot of them) come about as a result of someone literally walking into a room and yelling:

“Your Wing Chun is good, show me some of it!”

Even for a kung fu movie, that’s just plain lazy.

Pictured: An unedited example of the screenwriting process of The Legend is Born.

Anyway, I was initially planning to do a seriously in-depth review of The Legend is Born, much like I did Ip Man 2 and Undisputed 3: Redemption, however I found that this movie simply wasn’t worth the effort.

If you really wanna’ see mediocre fighting, bland acting, and *sigh…* Ip Man fighting ninjas, then by all means, give The Legend is Born: Ip Man a chance.

I for one, am going to be kicking myself over this purchase for some time, being as I knew this movie was going to suck, but still let my hopes and dreams guide my wallet.

If you can identify with this man, than perhaps you'll enjoy this movie!

 

 

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Vejita Has a Brother!!?

WADDAH' FAWK!!?

“Did you know Vejita has a brother now?”

That’s what my friend said to me ever so casually this past Friday.

Apparently Akira Toriyama himself created this character, thusly making his appearance in a brief 2008 animation, part of the Dragonball canon.

He's supposed to be 5 years younger than Vejita by the way. Fuckin' pedo-ass Japanese...

My friend and I have been buddies since way back in middle school, and one thing that has remained a constant for him ever since, is his love for Dragonball.

He was watching and subtitling the show way back then, and with the re-release in the form of Dragonball Kai, it would seem he’s never had to put it down.

And now, after we haven’t seen each other in a few years, he goes and drops this shit in my lap!

Poor Santa... So much poop...

Not only that, he told me that the (crappy) Playdia OVA, Plan to Eradicate the Saiyans, is being redrawn and re-animated for re-release as well.

Personally, I think I like the old one better... Not that it was all that good to begin with.

To this, I reacted by bowing my head in shame, and cursing the insatiable consumerism of Bandai and Toei.

Pictured: The Face of Greed...

So… Now Vejita has a younger brother named Taburu, or in haole speak, “Tarble.”

Pictured: A Haole.

Personally, I think I’m going to stick with “Table” as my way of pronouncing it.

Now, don’t get me wrong, the Azn Badger’s loves him some Dragonball.

Like most dudes in their early 20’s, I grew up watching shitty dubbed Dragonball Z as it inched it’s way along on Cartoon Network’s Toonami lineup.

Like some dudes, I also kept watching a little bit after the series ended, and even went ahead and bought all 13 of the movies.

As much as I liked Dragonball though, at some point, I stopped to ask, “why?”

Why is this series that’s been DEAD since the mid-90’s still pretending to be alive?

My best guess is that the series managed to stay relevant long enough that it’s next generation of fans discovered it before it ever had a chance to go off the air.

Oh well, as long as it makes people happy I guess…

Even so, it’s shit like this that makes me refer to Dragonball as the Madden of Japan.

Hang on, THIS is the Madden of Japan!

We don’t always ask for it, but for better or for worse, you can sure as hell bet there’s gonna’ be a new game in the series EVERY FUCKING YEAR.

Anyway, I don’t know what I meant to say with this post, but for those of you that give a shit, have fun knowing that Vejita now has a brother, and his name is Table.

Oh yeah, and thanks to the new game Raging Blast 2, we now have Super Saiyan 3 Vejita and Broly.

WHADDAH FAWK x3!!!?

Why?

Because haole likes him some Broly, that’s why…

Broly: Popular in America, not so much in Japan...

Filed under: Comics, Movies, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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