Azn Badger's Blog

What About the Lysine Contingency…?

Hidden Treasures, Part I

My old Dino Riders VHS... Know how you can tell you're cool? When you've got motherfuckin' Dino Riders sitting on your living room shelf, that's how.

Today I went on a little adventure.

Said adventure took me deep into the bowels of my parent’s basement, specifically a cozy little closet space underneath the stairs.

Within that cluttered space, I was fortunate to find a treasure trove of nostalgic goodies from years past.

Given, most of this stuff is utter crap, and probably wouldn’t be worth anything to anyone, but even so, it brings me a warm feeling to know that a lot of the neat stuff I had as a kid is still buried in the house somewhere.

First up is Power Ranger crap:

In this box I found the remains of just about every Megazord of the original “Mighty Morphin'” era I.E from the original Megazord to the the Thunder Megazord

I didn’t bite for the Shogun Megazord, thought it looked ghey.

I also went ahead and skipped the Ninja Megazord from the movie too.

That thing was bullshit.

Good God that thing's a pile...

Amid the wreckage, I was also fortunate to find most of Drago from Super Human Samurai Syber Squad AKA Gridman.

Yeah, you better believe Drago was the shit.

Did you ever see that show?

Most people I mention it too give me weird looks.

Hell, most people I talk to give me weird looks, so what’s the difference, eh?

It had that one asshole from Boy Meets World in it, and was actually pretty good too, despite the retarded name.

ASSHOLE.

Anyway, after digging around for a bit, I was pleased to find that my prized White Tiger Zord remained virtually unscathed:

RAWR.

Oh yeah, and I also found a bunch of those crappy ass Power Ranger action figures that nobody ever liked too:

Yeah, you better believe most of them were broken, no doubt on purpose.

Buried at the very bottom of my Power Ranger box I found traces of the great, Titanus the CarrierZord.

Near as I can tell, he might be missing a head, but goddamn he was the coolest fucking part of that show.

I would’ve pulled him out for a closer look, but he was buried pretty deep and I was in a hurry so… maybe some other time.

Regardless, this is what he was supposed to look like for those that may not remember him:

BRACHIOSAUR OF ULTIMATE PWNAGE!

On top of all the Power Ranger toys and what not, I also found a cache of VHS tapes, specifically the first 5 episodes of the series, plus the entire Green Ranger Saga!

Rest assured, I’ll probably be re-watching these in the near future.

I’m especially looking forward to the Green Ranger business, ’cause near as I can recall; that was some legitimately good storytelling.

Plus it introduced us to Jason David Frank, the man so nice they named him THRICE.

And this is the part where all the ladies in the room start fanning themselves.

Feel free to change your underwear after that one, he’s known to have that effect on the crotch bid’ness.

Tune in tomorrow for more basement dwelling adventures!

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Filed under: Movies, Tokusatsu, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I Have Too Many Gundams…

Today, I began the arduous task of cleaning up my room.

Well, maybe not the whole room, but the closet anyway.

Over the past several years, it has become evident that I simply have too much stuff.

There is a running joke in my family, about how my dad is a pack rat.

It’s gotten to be such a prevalent aspect of our family dynamic, that at one point, my mom and brother pasted a newspaper comic on our garage that pretty much sums up what’ll happen when my dad stops coming down for breakfast:

Bubble: Someday son, this "All" will be yours...

Thankfully, my brother has used his experience of growing up surrounded by this behavior as a means by which to avoid copying it all costs.

I, however, was neither as fortunate, nor as intelligent to take such preventative measures.

Turns out, I am indeed my father’s son.

In cleaning out my closet, I stumbled across a great deal of crap, as well as a few hidden treasures, many of which were originally my brother’s.

An example of the latter being Battle Damage T-800 from Terminator 2: Judgement Day.

"I need yo' clothes, yo' boots, and yo' motah' cycle."

I also found a shit ton of Marvel/Spider-Man action figures.

The Spider-Man cartoon on Fox Kids was kind of a big deal to me way back when.

Anybody Remember Eek! The Cat?

That show was THE SHIT.

From left to right: Jack Nicholson Joker from Batman 1989, Battle Damage Sabretooth, and Super Human Samurai Cyber Squad AKA Gridman.

Among the crap, we’re a pile of Crash Bandicoot action figures.

Honestly, I don’t know why I had these, or ever wanted them for that matter.

Yeah, I was so proud of these, that I took 'em to the Goodwill before I could take pictures of them!

I never played the original Crash Bandicoot, but 2 and Warped were awesome, so I guess that could’ve baited me into wanting the toys, but still, what the fuck was I thinking?

My guess is, it was that goddamn Crash Dance:

I was also fortunate to find my GIGANTIC collection of Megaman X3 gashapon, which has surprisingly managed to remain intact after all these years.

Allow me to be serious for a minute.

From age 9 to 11, I was a sick kid.

I had some sort of inner ear/stomach illness that caused a serious imbalance in my equilibrium, basically making me feel like I was on a boat all the time.

I swear, anybody makes an Andy Samberg joke and ‘imma tear their fuckin’ head off, and shit down their stump.

During this time I would throw up several times a day and generally feel like shit.

I did okay in school, but I was absent a lot.

Because of this, I spent a lot of time at Virginia Mason hospital in downtown Seattle, which was consequently, pretty close to the International District.

Every now and again, my mom would treat me to a gashapon as sort of a “get well” gift.

Even after I got over my illness, I went out of my way to spend my own money on those same gashapon for several years.

The Collection

After negotiating my way around boxes of Star Wars cards and high school logbooks, as well as the occasional rubber band gun, I finally managed to clear a space for my massive tower of plastic bullshit:

Behold, Gundam Tower!

Had I any friends to handle the camera for me, I would’ve stood in the photo to give a sense of scale, but just so you know, that’s about chest high on me.

Oh yeah, and did I mention that Gundam Tower has a sequel?

Well, it does.

Low angle money shot, always good for enhancing the package.

That one is what I call Mini Gundam Tower.

The Gundam Towers have horizontal cousins thought, about 3-4 of them I think.

Fuckin' Gundam Seed... Didn't even like the fuckin' show.

Note the massive number of Gundam Wing models... I wonder, did Azn Badger have Cartoon Network in the 90's?

Okay, maybe that’s more like 5-6, but whatever.

Anyway, this has been a truly pointless post, I’m sorry if I wasted any of your time.

I know I wasted mine this time around.

With that, I leave you with this image of Ultraman Towards the Future kickin’ it with a sumotori:

Damn, they should get these guys on HBO. Be a helluva' fight...

Filed under: Comics, Games, Movies, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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