Azn Badger's Blog

What About the Lysine Contingency…?

Abobo’s Big Adventure Looks Like Big Fun

So… That was pretty much the most awesome thing ever, right?

From what I understand, the clip above is a trailer for a homebrew Flash game called “Abobo’s Big Adventure.”

Check out the artfully designed official website here.

How I, a lifelong Double Dragon fan, managed to go without hearing of said game’s development until just now, is entirely beyond me.

In case you’re unfortunate enough to be unaware, Abobo is a boss character, and eventual standard enemy featured in Technos’ Double Dragon games.

Oddly enough, the creators of Abobo’s Big Adventure saw fit to design him with a pimp-ass mustache, a detail I personally always interpreted from the original sprite as a massive scowl.

Mustache, or scowl? The world may never know...

Oh well, given that Abobo’s race has never officially been declared, even by his original creators, details such as this are neither nitpick-able nor debatable.

According to Birdy from Street Fighter Alpha, Black people turn Caucasian when they're sick. Yeah, Japan's fuckin' stupid...

That is, unless you’re a canon/continuity obsessed douche rocket.

Coming in bald, mullet-ed, and even green variants, Abobo served as one of the most consistently challenging enemies in the series, despite serving as the very first boss in the franchise.

Doesn't take a genius to know which one's more powerful.

As detailed here, he could indeed be a son of a bitch.

That being said, despite having lost countless lives to the ‘Bo-ster over the years, the thought of him getting his own absurd 8-bit action game puts a smile on my face.

That said game includes not only an absurd amount of NES fanservice, as well as some amazing original sprite work and animations; only serves to sweeten the deal.

Fuck Skyrim, I’ll be waiting in line for Abobo’s Big Adventure…

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Filed under: Games, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , ,

DC Reboot Rage

As some of you may know, DC recently announced a massive reboot project across all of their major superhero comics.

As of writing this, the publisher is currently in the process of wrapping up all of their current story arcs/threads in preparation for said reboot; making it abundantly clear that they really are crazy enough to deploy the history eraser button on all of their beloved characters and storylines up to this point.

Well, remember how I said this all didn’t bother me all that much?

The image above represents the official redesigns for the Justice League in DC’s new era of comics, and by golly; I think it looks like hot garbage.

For the life of me I just can’t understand why everyone either looks like they’re wearing power armor, or in the case of Wonder Woman; just plain look like space-hookers.

Space-hookers with exposed torso musculature…

Looks like someone ran afoul of a Cenobite...

The old-fashioned designs and costumes may have been kind of dorky by today’s standards, but they had a quiet elegance about them that made them special.

Jack Kirby’s mastery of lines and patterns gave birth to untold numbers of classic and enduring designs, not through the use of extraneous detail and intricacy, but through simplicity.

Every line was calculated and purposeful. ART.

Such is the talent of many of the best pencil and ink artists:

The ability to convey strength and meaning behind the simplest of lines and angles.

It’s called refinement, and it’s something that is sorely lacking in DC’s reboot designs.

Everywhere I look on these designs, I see lines and ornaments that contribute nothing to the strength or symbol of their characters.

What the fuck is up with the gaudy-ass belts!?

How the fuck does everyone move in their tortoise shell power armor!?

How the fuck does Wonder Woman not cut her tits on her pointy-ass bustier!?

Aquaman looks alright with his new fins and pretty boy haircut, and Cyborg looks appropriate enough given that he’s the only character in the roster that actually is¬†supposed to be wearing power armor; (and was apparently put front and center for this graphic for the sole purpose of representing the black demographic) but everyone else just sort of looks like an aborted concept car design transposed onto a superhero.

Pictured: Batman, as designed by Lexus.

I don’t know about anyone else, but I was always fine with viewing Superman and Batman as being a couple of dudes wearing tights.

I know Batman was technically always supposed to be wearing a high-tech suit of pseud0-armor, but the fact of the matter is, unless otherwise stated in the context of the comics, superhero costumes have typically been depicted as being crafted from some imaginary fabric/material that adheres, not to the laws of physics; but to the pencil of the artists.

All I see when I look at these new designs, is a bunch of dudes in skin-tight armor plating.

SUPERMAN, the Jesus metaphor/Man of Steel is wearing ARMOR.

The Flash’s boots look like ski boots by Nerf.

Batman looks more like Owl Man from Crisis on Two Earths than he does THE GODDAMN BATMAN.

Pictured: THE GODDAMN BATMAN.

Wonder Woman looks like a pirate space-hooker.

Green Lantern looks… Relatively the same, just with hideous 90’s shoulder pads.

And everybody’s belts look truly, truly, truly outrageous.

To say I am disappointed in these designs does not even begin to scratch the surface.

I feel like we’re well on our way to falling right back into the 90’s era of comic art.

Hell, if movies, TV, comics, and pretty much every other part of American pop-culture right now is any indication; I think it’s pretty much guaranteed that Rob Liefeld shoulder pads and pouches are poised for a major comeback…

Oh well, here’s hoping DC pussies out and doesn’t press the button:

Filed under: Comics, Movies, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

A Tribute to the Greatness that is Donnie Yen: Part V – All Hail Emperor Yen!

2005 was just the beginning of Mr. Yen’s newly established reign in Hong Kong action cinema.

... And he can pull off a skinny tie. Man, it's hella' not fair...

With the exception of 2009, Wilson Yip and Donnie Yen would continue to team up for a film every year after this, leading up to the present.

’06 brought us the forgettable and effects heavy comic book movie, Dragon Tiger Gate, within which Donnie Yen, a complex wire crew, and dozens of CGI artists banded together to make pop stars Nicholas Tse and Shawn Yue look like martial arts masters.

Behold: The Original Masters of Emo Fu.

The result was a film that wasn’t bad, just kind of bland.

To their credit, Nicholas Tse and Shawn Yue legitimately put some time into the fight work, coming across as competent action stars. In fact, both have remained impressive screen combatants ever since and are sincerely on my “good” list in regards to their performances.

2007, brought us Flash Point, a prequel to SPL.

Needless to say, as soon as the trailers started popping up online, I was psyched.

All the bad ass atmosphere of SPL with a new, brighter color palette, and the promise of even more bone-crunching fights.

Make no mistake though, between SPL and Flash Point, SPL is definitely the better film.

However that’s not to say Flash Point wasn’t special in it’s own right.

On the contrary, it was very special.

Flash Point had no less than 3 fight choreographers involved in the production. Donnie Yen, his longtime friend, John Salvitti, and Japanese choreographer Yuji Shimomura of Versus and Death Trance fame.

Together, the 3 constructed some of the most intense and skillfully crafted fight sequences ever seen, incorporating complex grappling and other MMA based techniques in the process.

The results were, as you can plainly see, magic:

Click here for awesomeness. (Sadly, you can’t plainly see, because the stupid link won’t embed.¬† Sorry!¬† I’ll try to get this fixed sometime down the road.)

The brutality of Donnie Yen and Collin Chou’s climactic balls-out, no hold’s barred throw down at the end of Flash Point is matched only by it’s beauty.

The choreography is intentionally “ugly”, with many of the movements and strikes being executed with a clear emphasis on displaying power and ferocity, as opposed to the more elegant motions found in traditional kung fu movies.

In addition to this, Donnie Yen and his crew managed to accomplish the seemingly impossible by incorporating grappling and holds while maintaining a constant level of energy throughout. Even though the action does in fact come to a stop during some of these moments, they never once break the rhythm of the fight.

In stark contrast to the hard-edged choreography, the cinematography throughout this sequence is smooth and focused. Combined with the bright greens of the background foliage, as well as the hanging glass bottle props, many of the crane shots are just plain breathtaking, in particular the one that kicks off the fight immediately after the fall from the roof.

Kudos to whoever managed to choreograph the camera work amid the various pillars and obstacles.

Flash Point was the movie that solidified Wilson Yip’s role as Donnie Yen’s go-to director, as well as cemented Mr. Yen’s position as the guy in Hong Kong action cinema.

But of course we knew that already now, didn’t we?

Check back for the second to last post in my MASSIVE tribute to Donnie Yen, “Part VI – Old Man Yen!”

Filed under: Kung Fu, Movies, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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