Azn Badger's Blog

What About the Lysine Contingency…?

The 3 Seashells

Demolition Man holds a special place in my heart.

First and foremost, it’s a Stallone movie; which in my book automatically makes it an American film classic.

Well, unless we’re talking about Get Carter… or Cop Land… or Tango and Cash… or… y’know what, I’m just gonna’ stop.

Oh wait, forgot about Driven too...

Aside from that though, I found it to be a surprisingly clever action movie, and a good popcorn movie in general.

Make no mistake, Demolition Man is hardly a great movie; but it’s a good time nonetheless.

Anyway, of the many inside jokes that Demolition Man has spawned over the years; I’m pretty sure the one that we all remember best is the 3 seashells.

For those that may have forgotten this little gem of early 90’s comedy, I present to you the following clip:

In case you didn’t get it, the 3 seashells are the future equivalent to toilet paper.

Just the other day, a friend of mine asked me how I thought the 3 seashells would function in regards to their intended anus cleaning procedure.

Being as the breadth of my understanding of my bowels consists primarily of knowing what and what not to eat to alleviate/evacuate my anus cavity; I found I had no answer to this question.

Everything I know of toilet seat warfare comes from fighting the fires down below, clean-up is something I leave to the right hand and rolls of the mighty white sheets.

Anyway, my friend later told me that someone took an actual account given by Sylvester Stallone and the writer of Demolition Man regarding the proper procedure of using the 3 seashells, and created a visual diagram to go along with their description.

After a few minutes of internet-ing, I found said diagram at I-Mockery:

Anyway, hopefully this little stroll down early-90’s-action-movie memory lane was fun for you; if not enlightening.

See yah’ tomorrow!

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