Azn Badger's Blog

What About the Lysine Contingency…?

And Now, Zero Expressing His Anger Through Crappy Voice Acting.

Yeeeeeaaah….. That really stunk.

Seriously, I could’ve done better than that.

Anyway, I think it’s funny that ever since Mega Man X came out, Zero has always seemed like one of the more popular characters in the franchise.

The clip above notwithstanding, it’s easy to see why.

He has a flashy and unique design, his theme music was bad ass, and his first appearance in the series involves him saving your ass from Vile, a character who was impossible to beat at that point in the game.

Add in the fact that in later entries in the series he is given a beam saber, and you have the template for a bad ass supporting character more than capable of eclipsing the popularity of the rather vanilla protagonist.

Pictured: Someone who just creamed his pants upon reading the words "beam saber."

In many ways, I think of Zero as the equivalent to Trunks from Dragonball Z.

For whatever fuckin’ reason, back in elementary and middle school, Trunks was the bees knees.

You remember those holographic Dragonball stickers all the kids pasted on their binders?

Well, pretty much all the kids I went to school with that had them, went to great lengths to hoard the Trunks ones.

Remember these? I think I still have a few pasted on my bed frame...

While I admit that Trunks’ design is pretty slick, what with the Capsule jacket, purple hair and (useless) sword, at the end of the day I was always confused with my friend’s appreciation for the character.

Taking into consideration his actual role in the series as opposed to his appearance, I always saw Trunks as being kind of dumb.

Like Zero, he had one of the more bad ass debuts in fiction, however from that point on his abilities are quickly overshadowed by everyone around him, and when he finally does catch up, he’s too dumb to use his powers responsibly.

Pictured: When juicing goes too far.

Indeed, I fail to see the beauty of Trunks’ soul.

That being said, while I happen to like Zero quite a bit, he’s never really been one of my favorites in the series.

Mega Man X4 marked the first time in series history that players were given the option to play through the entire game playing as Zero, and perhaps not surprisingly, his storyline was quite a bit more involved that X’s.

I guess that’s to be expected when you’re dealing with a character like X who has virtually no personality outside of his belief that “Humans = Good, Bad Robots = Bad.”

Over the course of several (poorly) animated cutscenes, it was revealed/hinted that Zero was not only originally a savage and villainous Reploid, he was also responsible for EVERY BAD THING THAT EVER HAPPENED.

ALL HIS FAULT!!!

While I think it’s cool that they made him the bridge between the original Mega Man and the X series, in the form of making him a product of the late Dr. Wily and progenitor of the Maverick virus; at the same time I think it’s this aspect of his story that kind of ruins him.

As with Trunks, I like Zero’s design, and I like his character, but when one factors in all the stupid shit he’s done throughout the series, it’s kind of hard to hold the same level of appreciation for him.

That being said, congratulations Mega Man X4, not only did you plant the seeds for making Zero look like an asshole, you also fucked him over by casting his role with an English voice actor from Mega Man 8.

And we all know how bad those guys were….

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Filed under: Games, Movies, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

And Now, Serpentor Making A Fool Of Himself.

Yeeeeeaaaah…… So, Serpentor was kind of lame.

In case you don’t remember, Serpentor was the self-proclaimed emperor of the villainous Cobra faction in GI Joe.

Intended to be a replacement for the comically inept Cobra Commander, Serpentor was created from the DNA of countless great conquerors and rulers throughout history.

This had the unfortunate side-effect of giving him a strange tendency to speak almost exclusively in “commands,” leading to rampant use of the phrase “This, I Command!”

As you might’ve guessed, this could get annoying, and more than a little tedious at times:

Anyway, we should probably move on to explaining the retarded-ness of the clip at the top of this post.

Despite what you might think, the clip of Serpentor screaming “Cobra-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!” is actually taken directly from the GI Joe movie.

I’m not kidding.

That means Serpentor’s voice actor, Richard Gautier; was asked to come into the studio, and yell “Cobra-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!” into the microphone, most likely for a half an hour straight.

All I can say is, I hope he got paid.

As dumb as that seems, (and sounds) it’s perhaps even sadder to think that the whole “Cobra-la” thing sounds eerily like a riff on the now infamous Arabic battle cry:

A cheap laugh, but a good one nonetheless.

Anyway, you know what I mean.

I have no way of confirming my suspicions, but due to the US and Middle Eastern tensions of the day, (Sgt. Slaughter was only a few years away from his dramatic heel-turn) I’d assume this was the case.

That being said, I always thought this was really fucking stupid.

Here’s hoping you agree with me.

Filed under: Movies, Uncategorized, Wrestling, , , , , , ,

And Now, A Message From Brock Lesnar

In case you’re wondering, the clip above comes from an advertisement for the upcoming videogame, WWE ’12.

For whatever reason, they hired Brock Lesnar to show up in the last 3 seconds of the video so he could scream at the audience.

Apparently that qualifies as good sales technique these days.

Anyway, I apologize if you fail to derive any sort of humor from this clip, though you should probably know that I cut it together just for you.

Filed under: Games, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Ghana Knows How To Make Promos

“TW-TW-TW-TWENTY SIXTEEN!!!!!”

Wow, words can’t describe how insane/awesome this trailer is.

I don’t want to make a habit out of re-posting cool shit from Topless Robot, (too late now I guess…) but if ever there was something that needed to be shared elsewhere, this would have to be it.

There’s just something about the hyper-kinetic manner in which this trailer was edited, combined with the inherent absurdity of the concept… whatever that may be, that just makes this video so freakin’ awesome.

Apparently produced in Ghana, “2016” appears to be a movie about Aliens, from the 20th Century Fox franchise, wreaking havoc on Earth.

For whatever reason, the Aliens in 2016 seem to have a thing for punting babies and throwing sports cars and Blade glaives at Ghanaians.

At the same time though, there appears to be a side plot or 2 concerning spontaneously combusting cell phones, and a man being converted into a cyborg AKA a Terminator, most likely in an effort to combat the Aliens.

I make no attempt to understand 2016, though I think ultimately that’s what makes this trailer so amazing.

Enjoy!

Filed under: Movies, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , ,

And Now, Odd Job Laying Waste To Suburbia.

I found this on accident when searching for Harold Sakata on a whim.

I knew he was a professional wrestler from Hawaii, which is why I was curious to know more about him, but I was amazed to hear that he was also a silver medalist in Olympic weight lifting.

Anyway, I figured I’d share the video above on account of it’s hilariously silly concept and production values.

I love how Odd Job and his “wife” bow to each other after she instantaneously cures his cough.

Just goes to show you how culturally sensitive Hollywood was to Asian’s back in the 70’s…

Filed under: Movies, Uncategorized, Wrestling, , , , , , , , , , , ,

Thoughts On Pacquiao-Marquez III

Pictured: Marquez lands an overhand right against Pacquiao's eye socket.

It’s funny, in the wake of Juan Manuel Marquez’ defeat at the hands of Manny Pacquiao this past Saturday night, the term “robbery” has been making the rounds throughout the boxing community.

I finally had a chance to see the fight myself, and to be perfectly honest, I saw no robbery.

Robbery is what happened to Paulie Malignaggi in Texas.

Robbery is what happened to Roy Jones in Seoul.

Robbery is what happened to Pernell Whitaker virtually every time he stepped in the ring with a big name opponent.

What happened to Juan Manuel Marquez this past Saturday, was, in my eyes; nothing more than a very close decision loss.

That’s all.

I was actually rooting for Marquez from the get go, and though he succeeded in making Pacquiao look pretty bad at times, he did so at a measured pace that simply couldn’t earn him the win in a 12 round fight.

Throughout the night, Marquez traded rounds with Pacquiao through careful distancing and punch placement.

Pacquiao would attempt to charge in or circle around him with punches, and Marquez would cleverly step just out of range and throw combinations in response.

Few could argue that Marquez landed the more picturesque punches throughout the fight, however as impressive as these were, at times it felt like he was fighting a third of every round.

I hate to say it, but Pacquiao won on my card by virtue of activity and volume punching.

While I tend to favor clean and effective punching when it comes to judging rounds, seeing Pacquiao work from bell to bell with constant combinations was what got him the “W” in my book.

In essence, Marquez remained competitive throughout, however he let too many rounds slip into “either/or” territory.

I had 2 rounds on my card that could’ve gone either way, the first and the sixth, however in judging from my gut; I only awarded the first to Marquez.

In the end, I had Pacquiao winning 115-113.

I don’t know if it was due to physical or psychological reasons, but to me it seemed like Marquez eased off a bit from the 10th on.

I still thought he did enough to win the 11th, though I think we can all agree that, even if he felt he was winning, he likely should’ve imposed his will on Pacquiao just a little bit more throughout the fight.

I know Nacho Beristain was telling him he was winning, so if what he did was a conscious decision, I bet he’s kicking himself over it right about now.

I’m not a big fan of punch stats, as I feel that since official judges aren’t given access to them, they really shouldn’t figure into the proceedings as much as a simple “face value” evaluation, but in the case of this fight I can’t help bring them up.

When Marquez fought Floyd Mayweather, he threw 583 punches and landed only 69.

While one can argue that the reason he threw close to 600 punches was because he needed to “shotgun” his punches in order to land the scant few he did, I find it interesting that he only threw 436 last Saturday night.

Out of those 436, he landed an impressive 138.

The point I’m trying to make, is that Marquez likely should have stepped up the pace in fighting Pacquiao.

As I said before, he seemed to do a lot of waiting in the fight, picking his punches, which proved to be a very effective tactic, but also resulted in him giving away rounds simply due to the intermittent nature of his offense.

When he was in control, he was quite commanding, landing clean punches and putting Pacquiao’s feet out of position, however in between all of this, Pacquiao filled the gap with constant punching.

Marquez threw 150 more punches in a fight in which he lost every round, which is the same effort he likely should’ve brought to this fight.

I fully acknowledge that this entire article is based on my personal opinion, and not any sort of facts.

Any case you could make for Marquez winning is likely as strong as, or stronger than any you could make for him losing.

This fight was very much a case of a snare drum versus a tympani.

One rattles off beats with constant, machine gun rhythm, while the other blasts out booming tones in time with the beat.

Both bring a sweet sound to the table, but it’s up to the ears of the listener to decide which one stands out most.

Filed under: Boxing, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“I Don’t Like The Bad Guys Because They’re Bad.”

Of course they picked the ASIAN kid to pose with the robot....

A funny thing happened the other night.

I was helping out on a shoot for Hapstance Films while I was in Portland, and throughout most of the evening I found myself watching X-Men 2 with a little boy that was also involved in the production.

All night long he excitedly ran up to me to show me his robot collection, as well as to exhibit his best Spider-Man and Wolverine impressions.

Me being me, I took a moment to show him how to properly do the web shooting pose with his fingers.

Yup, this.

While I certainly didn’t mean to, I’m pretty sure I inadvertently fucked up his understanding of the Marvel universe.

From what I could tell, everything he knew of the X-Men and Marvel’s other characters was taken from the movies.

I’d imagine this is quite typical among the youth of today, as the comic industry has been dragging it’s shattered bones along from quarter to quarter, while Marvel Entertainment *cough!* DISNEY *cough!* has been whore-ing their products through Hollywood for over decade now.

Forgive me, I love comic book movies as much as the next man, I just can’t help but feel a little tired of saying to myself “It was good, but the comics were better,” every single goddamn time a new one comes out.

Back to the topic at hand.

Perhaps out of boredom, or simply because he kept asking me, quite excitedly, to tell him about every character that appeared in the X-Men films, during the movie I started feeding him factoids about the X-Men ripped straight from the comics.

I told him that Nightcrawler was Mystique’s son.

I told him that “Fire Guy” was named Pyro.

I told him that “Girl Wolverine” was called Lady Deathstrike.

I told him that Wolverine’s real name was James Howlett or Logan, depending on who you ask.

I told him that Cyclops was a lot cooler than he thought, not just because he was badass, but because he wore glasses like me.

At some point though, I stopped playing Yoda/Comic Book Guy and asked the kid if he liked any villains, in the Marvel universe or otherwise.

I was curious because I happened to notice earlier in the evening that whenever he played with robots, the “good” one would always win the fight.

To my surprise, the kid responded by saying:

“No, I don’t like the bad guys.”

So I asked:

“Why not?”

To which he responded quite plainly:

“Because they’re bad!”

I know it shouldn’t have, but this surprised me.

As I type this article, I hold in my hand a recently purchased collected edition of the early 90’s miniseries Venom: Lethal Protector.

Pictured: The cover of the one issue my cousin let me read back in the day. Been wanting to finish the series ever since.

While Lethal Protector is kind a bad example, given that I was much older than the kid in question upon it’s original publication, this does not change the fact that, even in my extreme youth, I always had an appreciation for some of the “bad guys.”

Soundwave was one of my favorite Transformers.

Gigan was one of my favorite Godzilla characters.

It might have been a sign of the times, but in my mind, villains and anti-heroes were very much “in” back in the late-80’s and early-90’s.

While I’m some would disagree, I’ve always thought of the villains as traditionally the more flamboyant and “cooler” characters when compared to their heroic counterparts.

Something about the villain’s ability to bend the rules, especially in regards to superhero stories, just seems to lend them a flexibility of character that makes them feel more three dimensional.

I don’t know if it’s a generational difference or what, but I found it interesting that this kid had his good guys and bad guys so cleanly divided.

I mean think about that, if you were able to look upon things in such black and white terms, things like war movies and professional wrestling would be infinitely more entertaining!

Being able to point at something and know, in your heart, that it’s “bad,” that it’s the enemy; is a luxury of fiction (or in this case, childhood) that I think a lot of people wish would cross over into reality.

When a threat is universal and tangible, it becomes far easier to deal with than the shades of gray bullshit of real life.

Anyway, I don’t really know where I’m going with this, as I’ve got some pretty bad writer’s block and a headache to boot, but I really this interesting.

Sorry for rambling.

Filed under: Comics, Movies, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Manny Pacquiao Defeats Juan Manuel Marquez Via Close Decision

Pictured: Marquez chasing Pacquiao with a left hook.

Unfortunately, I was out of town helping out on a production of Hapstance Films, so I’ve yet to actually see this fight.

Seems like I’m always busy come fight night….

Rest assured, I’ll likely post my thoughts on the bout here at a later date, as I heard the result was close to the point of being controversial.

Stay tuned!

Filed under: Boxing, Movies, , , , , , , , , ,

Sorry, Went To Portland.


Sorry, had to leave town to go lend a hand on a video production.

Regardless, at least you got a funny Far Side cartoon out of it.

That being, make sure to watch Pacquiao-Marquez for me, as I’ll likely be missing it!

Filed under: Boxing, Comics, , , , , , , ,

Manny Pacquiao vs. Juan Manuel Marquez III Prediction


Well, it’s finally here.

After over 6 years and 2 hotly contested contests, Manny Pacquiao and Juan Manuel Marquez are finally going to step into the ring for their long awaited rubber match.

Their first match, contested at Featherweight, ended in a draw; with Marquez being floored 3 times in the first stanza, only to dominate the remainder of the fight via brilliant offense and mid-fight adjustments.

The result of the fight is debated to this day, with many believing Marquez deserved the nod, myself included.

The second fight resulted in an extraordinarily narrow split decision victory for Pacquiao, with a 3rd round knockdown of Marquez creating the 1 point advantage needed to prevent a second draw.

Much the like their first clash, the result of Pacquiao-Marquez II is heavily disputed.

In the intervening years since their last battle, back in 2008, both Pacquiao and Marquez have been among the most productive fighters of their era.

As I’m sure you’re already aware, Pacquiao has gone on to ascend in weight with unprecedented success, snagging titles in every class from Lightweight to Jr. Middleweight.

Along the way he utterly dominated a wide range of “name” fighters including the likes of Oscar De La Hoya, Ricky Hatton, Miguel Cotto, Antonio Margarito, and most recently, Shane Mosley.

I mentioned I hate Ricky Hatton, right?

It’s worth noting however, that despite the fact that all of Pacquiao’s opponents post-2008 were of world class ability, one has to take into account that “were” is most certainly the operative word in that statement.

Without exception, all of the above fighters were either coming off of physically taxing, disastrous losses, or were altogether well past their prime.

A Shane Mosley that calls it quits and runs for 12 rounds is a Mosley that would likely get it’s ass beaten by it’s former iteration for ruining their collective “warrior” image.

That’s not a knock on Pacquiao’s esteemed legacy, as at 33 he has already achieved a number of feats that likely will never be repeated in the sport, but it is a knock on Bob Arum and the business of boxing.

In short, it’s readily apparent that as Pacquiao’s status as an international celebrity has grown, so has his management’s desire to direct his career with a safety first/money grabbing agenda.

Superman never would’ve been made without Marlon Brando.

Batman never would’ve been made without Jack Nicholson.

Similarly, Bob Arum has paired Pacquiao with known fighters that put asses in the seats rather than the hungry young bucks that as destined to play second fiddle to the current crop of elite fighters until they grow old or retire.

Such is the case with virtually every mega-champ in boxing history, however that fact alone does not absolve Arum and his boys from their blatant exploitation of the sport and it’s fan base alike.

That being said, Marquez’ post-2008 career may not have been as flashy or as groundbreaking as Pacquiao’s, but it’s been thrilling nonetheless.

Just 6 short months after his loss to Pacquiao in their second match, Marquez moved up in weight to Lightweight.

Beginning with an unprecedented knockout of Joel Casamayor, Marquez quickly installed himself as a force to be reckoned with in the division.

While back to back victories over Juan Diaz would be soon to follow, as well as over the tough but mercurial Michael Katsidis and unheralded Likar Ramos, in late 2009 Marquez would jump 2 weight classes, to Welterweight, for a horribly one-sided decision loss to Floyd Mayweather.

The fight was kind of like this, but ALL NIGHT LONG.

Many, myself included, felt that Marquez was largely outsized in the Mayweather bout, however given the prodigious nature of Floyd’s boxing skills, personally I don’t think the weight would’ve mattered.

Oddly enough, the controversy of the Mayweather weight issue has arisen once again, as tomorrow night’s rubber match is also to be contested at Welterweight.

While the issue of weight is no doubt an issue many cite as one (of many) factor(s) that will likely lead to Marquez’ defeat tomorrow night, in all honesty I think of it as very much a minor issue cast alongside a host of more important ones.

True, Marquez’ only other performance at Welterweight saw him lose every round and even get dropped once in the process, however one has to bring into consideration the fact that Marquez took that fight on only a few months notice, not to mention he was fighting a pure boxer with a penchant for making people look bad.

In other words, he took it upon himself to not only fight a stylistic mismatch, he also had to craft himself a Welterweight body within a single training camp.

This time however, Marquez was given the opportunity to take part in a tune-up match with Likar Ramos this past July, contested at Jr. Welterweight.

...Which only lasted 1 round and seemed a little fishy at that.

What I’m trying to say here, is that, while he likely isn’t nearly as comfortable at 140+ as Pacquiao is, he’s had much more time to work his way up to the weight the right way.

At least, one would assume that’s how a professional athlete would go about doing things.

That being said, as much as I love Marquez as a fighter, in all honesty I don’t think he’s going to be able to pull off a victory tomorrow night.

At 38 years of age, Marquez is noticeably slowing, and while his ability to adjust and trade punches in the pocket is legendarily formidable, I think Pacquiao’s slippery footwork is going to get the better of him.

To me, Pacquiao’s lucid footwork and ability to create angles are his greatest gifts as a fighter.

At the same time though, both Pacquiao and Marquez have a remarkable willingness to stand and trade punches just a little bit longer than most.

In their previosu fights, whenever the 2 of them decided to exchange combinations, Marquez was highly competitive due to his clever punch placement and overall ruggedness.

The Pacquiao of old was far too willing to play into Marquez’ game, resulting in the rough and tumble fights we’re all fortunate to have tucked away in the annals of boxing history.

In their second fight though, Pacquiao’s finest moments saw him clocking Marquez on his way in, and gracefully slipping behind him.

Given Pacquiao’s steady evolution into an undeniably better and more technically sound fighter in the years since he and Marquez’ second bout, it’s hard for me to see Freddie Roach allowing his fighter to make the same mistakes that even a blog writer like me noticed before.

I expect Pacquiao to work his angles and either box his way to landslide 12 round decision, or failing that, an 8th round TKO.

Though I wholly expect him to take some severe punishment, I don’t see Marquez getting a 10 count on the canvas.

Much like how you could count on Arturo Gatti’s face starting to swell up and/or bleed during his walk from the dressing room, Juan Manuel Marquez is one of those fighters that isn’t really in the fight until you knock him down.

Despite Pacquiao alone putting him to the canvas 4 times over 2 fights, the guy’s never been knocked out, and I honestly don’t think it’ll ever happen via a 10 count.

Congratulations, you've succeeding in pissing him off.

Going down for Marquez seems almost like a wake up call, like a signal to him that he’s gotta’ change his tactics or pick up the pace.

I sincerely hope Marquez wins tomorrow night, as most boxing trilogies/series arise due to a need to establish a clear victor due to both men trading victories.

Given that neither man won their first fight, it’d make for a good story if Marquez got a win in there somewhere.

Anyway, there’s my prediction.

Pacquiao by UD, or failing that, an 8th TKO stoppage.

Filed under: Boxing, Comics, Movies, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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