Azn Badger's Blog

What About the Lysine Contingency…?

Remember When King Mabel And Yokozuna Fought And Reversed The Earth’s Gravitational Pull?

Morbidly obese dudes have always had a place in pro-wrestling.

Often taking on an “unstoppable force” persona akin to that of Andre the Giant, The Big Show, or even Goldberg; super-heavyweight wrestlers rarely exhibit the most talent, but always stand out due to their prodigious girth.

Whether they be the likes of the absurdly massive Haystacks Calhoun, or the surprisingly agile and technically proficient Rikishi, the fat guys of wrestling have always drawn crowds, regardless of ability.

That being said, on the rare occasion that promoters find themselves in the position to slam 2 extraordinarily heavy individuals together in the ring, you can be they go out of their way to make it happen.

Such is the reason we had silly match-ups like the world famous Akebono facing off against The Big Show in a sumo match.

Truth be told, this wasn't all that bad...

The match the title of this post refers to though, was between Yokozuna and King Mabel in the mid-90’s, when Yokozuna was starting to get embarrassingly overweight.

This match stands out to me, largely because when viewed side by side, both men have perhaps the strangest physiques in all of wrestling.

Yokozuna is about 90% ass, and King Mabel is basically 500 lbs of torso.

Seriously man, when you take a closer look at Mabel’s ankles, I’d swear they were made of toothpicks.

The match is by no means a classic, with both men being the sort that lack the agility to take bumps convincingly, or in rapid fashion; resulting in a sluggishly paced match with little to no high impact maneuvers.

It’s disappointing really, during this era Mabel was actually relatively fleet of foot; unlike later in career when he went by the monicker of Viscera.

Man, it's hilarious to think how accurate those proportions are to the real thing...

As mentioned before, Yokozuna was pretty much on his way out by this time, which strangely enough, kind of upset me back in the day.

I was kind of heavy as a kid, and more than a little Azn; so despite his questionable wrestling skills, I always kind of had a soft spot for him.

Hell, back in the day I played as him almost exclusively in virtually every WWF videogame I could get my hands on, especially Wrestlemania: The Arcade Game.

Man, that game was savage-as-fuck, wish I could be playing it right now…

Anyway, I remember hearing that Yokozuna actually gained a shit ton of weight on purpose during his career, which potentially lead to his untimely demise.

It saddens me to know that he went out that way, but perhaps his death will serve as a cautionary tale for other would-be wrestlers aspiring to achieve similar proportions.

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Filed under: Games, Uncategorized, Wrestling, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

2 Responses

  1. Jonah Harvey says:

    First off, Wrestlemania the Arcade Game was the shit. Secondly, Yokozuna was the shit too! Lol…But in all seriousness, cool post bro.

    I’ve always been a fan of some of the larger guys, especially the athletic ones. Yoko was deceptively quick for his size and had a pretty sweet move-set for a man of his stature.

    Rikishi was another who could really go despite being a massively large man, but my all time favorite was none other than Bam Bam Bigelow.

    Bam Bam was the total package in my eyes. He was huge, he was quick, and the guy could come off the top rope! He also had great ring psychology. WWF really dropped the ball with the “beast from the east.”

    A few other names that come to mind are Vader, Big Show, and though not as large as some of the other guys, Abyss. All of these guys cut really perform with the right opponents.

    Speaking of Big Show, what did you think of his match at Money In The Bank with Mark Henry?

    • aznbadger says:

      Sadly, I missed Money in the Bank, but I heard Mark Henry beat Big Show clean in a surprisingly decent match. It makes me happy to know that they’ve kept Mark Henry in his “evil chocolate” mode, ’cause I always felt like they never spent much time building him out outside of it. Have to agree with you on Bam Bam. Despite his size, Bigelow was a terrific performer, however I can’t help but feel he was never pushed as far as his abilities likely could have taken me. Oh well, at least we can all remember him as one of the hardest AI characters in Wrestlemania: The Arcade Game. Thanks for subscribing!

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