Azn Badger's Blog

What About the Lysine Contingency…?

Remember When The Ultimate Warrior’s Head Leaked Green Goo?

The Ultimate Warrior was a unique, and somewhat tragic phenomenon in wrestling history.

Technically deficient in the ring, and borderline non-sensical on the mic, The Ultimate Warrior’s success was very much a case of “right place, right time.”

Possessing an imposing and intensely defined bodybuilder physique, his image fell much in the line with the body culture of the mid-80’s, while his colorful costuming and LOUD¬†personality served to make him a fan favorite among the younger fans.

In an era in which the Ninja Turtles gave us cause to use terms like “radical” and “tubular,” The Warrior truly was king.

Despite his unqualified attributes as a wrestler and personality in the WWF, the higher-ups made the bold (and foolish) decision to push The Ultimate Warrior as the next big thing, going so far as to have him defeat Hulk Hogan for the world championship at Wrestlemania VI.

... After they had him suck Hogan's dick for 20 minutes.

With the most limited of movesets, and the complete and utter inability to cut a promo, the bookers and writers of the WWF were left with little options when it came to crafting storylines and feuds for the new champion.

So, as any sane, and not at all stupid a team of writers of would do; they decided to let the inmates run the asylum, and allowed The Ultimate Warrior to WRITE SOME HIS OWN STORYLINES.

As evidenced by the clip above, in which The Ultimate Warrior “bleeds” green goo from his scalp due to his then rival, Papa Shango’s voodoo curse; writing, and in deed, speaking, were never The Warrior’s strong suits.

Personally, I preferred Papa Shango when he was Ho Train-ing guys as The Godfather:

The Ultimate Warrior always looked the part, much more so than many of the best wrestlers of all time; but by golly the guy just wasn’t nearly as good as we all wanted him to be.

That being said, let’s go out on a high note as we take a look at another clip from the Ultimate Warrior/Papa Shango feud:

Advertisements

Filed under: Uncategorized, Wrestling, , , , , , , , , , , ,

2 Responses

  1. Timm says:

    Haha lol at goo and vomit videos…really good acting!(not)Good article

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: