Azn Badger's Blog

What About the Lysine Contingency…?

One Of The Worst Book Covers I’ve Ever Seen


I’ve done bad book cover posts before, but this one might just take the cake.

Many times, when a book has a truly horrendous cover, there’s ussually at least some aspect of it’s design that’s commendable/acceptable.

For instance, many fantasy novels have laughable character designs and titles; but in many cases the artistry of the cover is commendable, at least from a technical standpoint.

Other times covers are simply generic, bringing nothing unique to the table; but still doing enough to qualify as a commissioned piece of artwork.

The cover above, for the sci-fi/fantasy novel “Time Ninja,” has none of these things going for it.

The font is bland.

The title is retardedly unoriginal.

The colors are faded and washed out.

The figures on display are poorly rendered at best, coming across like poorly photoshopped drawings with a plain ‘ole smudge filter slapped onto them.

The layout has no sense of rhyme or reason, with most of the figures and details being strewn about at random.

I’ve seen bad covers before, but when I, a (mostly) humble Azn boy with a non-descript Bachelor’s degree that may or may not have something to do with “art,” can look at a book cover and honestly feel that I could do better; then you know you’re dealing with something that is… Well, I think Ian Malcolm said it best:

“For those that care to know, here is the back-of-the-book description for “Time Ninja”:
Andy Schoepp’s Definitive Sci-Fi, Action/Adventure, Ninja Epic has arrived! The year is 2101, global warming and a depleted ozone layer are destroying the Earth. The human race lies on the brink of extinction with its only hope being a planet in another galaxy. A raging civil war reigns supreme over the technology to transport people to that planet which can save the human race. It is in this future that Master Ninja Ryu Kendo must obtain a special sword that can help him save his village from annihilation. But the raging civil war may consume Ryu’s mind, body, soul and indeed his very being. Will Ryu sacrifice his village for his friends, the woman he loves and for the future of humankind? In Time Ninja, Andy Schoepp paints a vivid tapestry of an ancient, Japanese village in modern times and a future fraught with civil war, high-tech weaponry and characters fighting to stay alive with the Earth in peril of obliteration. And, when Andy Schoepp combines the ancient techniques of Ninjutsu with the high-tech weaponry of the future, it will be a battle none will soon forget! Time Ninja is a must-read epic you won’t want to miss!”

Congratulations Andy Schoep and illustrator Ron Heinsman, not only did you compose a “must-read epic,” you also gave us one of the worst covers of all time.

That being said, there’s no denying that Space Bobcat still reigns supreme:

STILL, THE BEST COVER EVER.

Advertisements

Filed under: Movies, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

3 Responses

  1. Yep, that looks and sounds bad. “Must Read Epic” tends to scare me, since most “Must Read Epics” I know of have better sense than to refer to themselves as such, the term more often being used for… This kind of thing.

  2. […] this cover is nowhere near the standard of epic shittiness set by Time Ninja, it’s hard to deny that this one is a piece of crap in it’s own […]

  3. Andy Schoepp says:

    The author responds.

    In the United States we have a Constitution that guarantees us freedom of speech and freedom of expression, thus AZN Badger or Trevor (whichever one you wish to be called) is entitled to his opinion and this is just that…his opinion. However I must point out a few things.

    First, if you are going to criticize a cover artist the least you could do is spell his name correctly. The cover artist for my novel “Time Ninja” is NOT Ron Heinsman, it is Rob (with a “b” not an “n”) Heinsman. Rob Heinsman.

    Second, Rob’s expertise is an artistic style called Wisteria which is a darker art style. The plot and story of “Time Ninja” is dark so a cover with bright and happy colors would just not do. I was going for something dark but you seem to consider dark “washed out.” This cover is also hand drawn and I would like to see you do better.

    Third, have you ever heard of a collage? There are so many elements to “Time Ninja’s” story (especially with the futuristic technology) that I felt I had to incorporate the mech warrior in the upper left and the warp ship with warp rings in the lower left since both play as big of a part in the story as the ninja.

    Fourth, if you read the book you would agree it is aptly titled and most people are intrigued by the title and don’t find it “retarted.”

    Fifth, the font is a futuristic looking font and I was looking for a futuristic stainless steel look to the letters and this as close as the publisher could get and I think it looks great.

    Sixth, everybody I talk to loves this cover and think it’s awesome (in a good way). I even signed a copy of the book for a fan at a book signing who said he bought the book just for the cover.

    So even though your opinion is wrong you are entitled to it, you can’t even get the cover artist’s name right after all. In response to
    you calling the cover of “Time Ninja” shitty the only other thing I have to say, in the words of ESPN’s NFL Monday Night Countdown “C’mon man!”

    Andy Schoepp

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: