Azn Badger's Blog

What About the Lysine Contingency…?

Van-Damme In Expendables 2

Well fuck my nuggets, Van Damme finally checked his ego at the door and signed on for Expendables 2.

To those who are unaware, Jean-Claude Van Damme was originally approached for a role in Sylvester Stallone’s 2010 ode to modern meathead culture and 80’s action cinema, The Expendables.

While many have bashed The Expendables as being little more than a sub-par action film populated with a Towering Inferno style cast of notables, I actually kind of enjoyed it.

Sure, it was hardly one of the best films any of the actors had been in, and yeah the action was not quite as awesome as most of us were expecting; (digital squibs = sad panda) but at the end of the day I found it to be a big dumb action movie that succeeded in being just that: a big dumb action movie.

Pictured: A movie that FAILED at being big and dumb.

Despite how crummy the movie may have been in some areas, it gave us Dolph Lundgren vs. Jet Li, and Stallone vs. Stone Cold.

Any movie that does that, no matter how utterly average the fights within which may actually have been, deserves at least some credit, if only for the sake of film history.

ANYWAY, based on what I can recall, Van Damme’s role in The Expendables was likely to have been either that of Randy Couture’s character, or that of Gary Daniel’s villain role.

I’ve read rumors that suggest Van Damme’s ego got in the way,in the form of making him reject the Gary Daniel’s role due to the fact that his character would lose a fight on-screen, most likely to Jet Li.

At the same time, I’ve also heard rumors that the Muscles From Brussels turned down the roles offered to him due to him being in the process of trying to “legitimize” his acting career based on the success of movies like JCVD.

In either case, and for better or worse, Van-Damme didn’t appear in The Expendables, and I for one was kind of disappointed.

As decent a guy as Randy Couture is, the man simply cannot act; and in that sense I would’ve loved to have seen Van-Damme stand in for him.

Do I really need an excuse to use this pic?

Similarly, as fuckin’ awesome and hilarious as Terry Crews can be, he was criminally under-utilized in The Expendables; and came across as the big black dude that was there just to be a big black dude.

If they really needed a big black dude that badly, they probably should’ve asked Carl Weathers, or Jim Brown, or Mr. T, or hell, even Michael Jai White.

Regardless, next time around they need to let the big black guy be more than just scenery with a gun.

‘Cause y’know, racism and n’shit.

Anyway, it makes me happy to know Van-Damme is gonna’ be in the sequel, which for the love of all that is holy; better be a decent step-up in terms of overall quality.

The basic premise does, and always will have potential, and I have confidence in Stallone in delivering the goods the second time around.

I would appreciate it if he’d reduce the meathead quotient just a little bit, and in turn dial up the nostaligia factor; but that’s just me.

Now all he needs to do is find a way to shoehorn Scott Adkins, Donnie Yen and Tony Jaa in there…

Filed under: Kung Fu, Movies, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

4 Responses

  1. BZFilm says:

    As for the black guy, i agree – Michael Jai White should have been the obvious choice. Either him or Billy Blanks (although he stepped away from acting, and is not really in the shape he was in back in the 90s).

    As for Van Damme, its great that he got the part in the sequel. I’ve always been saying that he was better (movie wise) than Steven Seagal, and this is just another proof.

    Go Expendables 2!

    • aznbadger says:

      Michael Jai White has a place in virtually every movie ever made, be it a rom-com or a martial arts flick. Seriously man, the guy’s awesome. I never really cared much for Billy Blanks as an action hero. I can recall him having some good fights in a few Hong Kong flicks back in the 90’s, but outside of Tae Bo he never really made much of an impression.

  2. BZFilm says:

    I am planning to write an article on Blanks and White (2 black martial artists), and compare them… as i am a fan of both.

    If you ok with that, i can post a link to the article here, once its published.

    • aznbadger says:

      By all means sir and/or madam! I think that’d make for an interesting article, though honestly I think White’s legacy is already much more far reaching, at least in the film world. Blanks was a talented screen fighter, but in the eyes of most; he’ll always be “The Tae Bo Guy.” White is an accomplished actor, screen fighter, writer, producer, and 1 time director. Anyway, I’d be curious to hear your take on these 2, though I’d consider throwing Wesley Snipes or Jim Kelly into the mix if you’re feeling adventurous.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: