As outlined in my post yesterday, I’m not what you’d call a Wonder Woman fan.
Truth be told, I know close to nothing about the character outside of the very broadest of factoids.
In other words, I know what she does, I have an idea of what she stands for, and I guess I‘m kind of familiar with the A-listers in her rogues gallery.
Huh, now that I think of it; even without reading any of her stories, I guess I know a little more about Wonder Woman than the average 20-something male.
One thing I cannot claim to know a whole lot about, or even anything; when it comes to Wonder Woman, is the evolution of her costume.
In previous posts on this blog, I’ve voiced my opinions regarding the evolutions of numerous comic book characters, including the likes of Captain America, Spider-Man, Batman, and Venom, and while I’d love to do that for this post, unfortunately I feel unqualified to do so.
That being said, today there will be no history lesson; rather I’ll just be looking at the new TV Wonder Woman costume, and giving my honest opinion, not as a comic book reader, but as a dude with the bare minimum of fashion sense and eye for design.
Introductions aside, let’s get to an image of the costume in question:
Seriously man, it not only looks cheap, but the design of it is dangerously uninspired to the point that I’m tempted to say it looks worse than you’re average Halloween costume.
Wow, I guess I can really be an asshole when I set my mind to it.
Anyway, I suppose explain where I’m coming from with all this:
The golden pieces on the costume look plasticky and cheap.
The seams on the bustier are obnoxiously front-and-center in their size and placement, creating distracting lines that hurt the cohesiveness of the outfit as a whole.
Not only that, said seams also make the top seem very restrictive and corset-like; a garment that seems a little strange for a character so representative of powerful femininity.
On that note, this costume reeks of being a bitch to move around in, suggesting whatever action scenes it’s used in will likely suck meerkat-anus.
Moving downward, the element of this costume that catches my eye first; and in deed grinds my gears the most, is the pants.
Maybe it’s just me, but the Wonder Woman in my head doesn’t wear pants.
No, I don’t fantasize about Wonder Woman; what I mean to say, is that I’ve always pictured Wonder Woman wearing star covered spanks, y’know; those pantie lookin’ things cheerleaders wear.
That being said, I really fuckin’ hate the pants on this Wonder Woman costume.
It’s clear the producers likely threw them in there for the sake of decency in our sexually repressed culture, but unfortunately; said pants have absolutely no character to them, making for a boring design element that feels pointless at best.
Seriously, if anything on this costume looks straight off-the-rack, it’d have to be the pants.
Probably the worst part of this costume though, is definitely the boots.
Seriously, who in the holy blue fuck thought it would be a good idea to have Wonder Woman’s boots be the same color as her boring-ass pants?
Nevermind that, who the fuck figured it’d be wise to give her high fuckin’ heels?
I’m not a woman.
I don’t know what it’s like to wear high heels.
What I do know though, is that when it comes to doing action sequences; high heels are a big hurdle to leap.
I have no idea how tall the actress playing Wonder Woman is, so I’m hoping the heels were a design choice meant to allow her achieve a stature appropriate of an Amazonian princess.
More than likely though, the heels, and indeed the boob-highlighting bustier; were likely thrown in there because some genius figured:
“She’s a girl! Let’s make her all girly n’shit!”
Well, I think I hated virtually every element of the costume imaginable, to the point in which I’m pretty sure there’s not a single ornament or seam on it that I like about it.
In all, it’s an atrocious design that will probably do wonders to shit all over Wonder Woman’s reputation for years to come.