While I’m guessing it’s been thoroughly documented elsewhere, I feel I need to say a little something about the nature of the above Magic card.
Harrison Ford made his livings as an “action star” for a good portion of the 80’s and early 90’s.
Despite this reputation however, it doesn’t take a genius to notice that he’s by no means a physical specimen.
Let it be known, in the world of Hollywood films, a “rugged” appearance, a team of good stunt men, and some creative camera angles can go a long way towards making an action star out of even the most ordinary of people.
That being said, while I loves me some Harrison Ford, and would never go out of my way to talk shit about him or his career, I feel it needs to be mentioned that the man never fully grasped the mechanics involved in throwing a decent punch.
While that may sound like nitpicking to some, (it is) I’ve always found this to be hilarious, being as Mr. Ford has a reputation for decking people in an alarming number of his films, much to my approval.
Hell, I even remember him clocking somebody in Witness, while disguised as an Amish guy no less.
Watching Harrison Ford draw back and punch somebody, is akin to bearing witness to a violent seizure or dry heave.
Near as I can tell, the man has no fucking clue what he’s doing, nor any real control over his actions; yet somehow, he’s pretty damn consistent about doing it the same way every time.
You see he doesn’t really punch, per se. It’s more like he sticks out his arm like Superman and falls fist first into people’s faces.
My guess is, this particular technique is unorthodox and unpredictable to the point of being utterly impossible to avoid.
Think of it like drunken boxing, only sloppier and more Jewish.
Fortunately, Mr. Ford’s punches have the benefit of being backed up with some of the greatest punch sound effects in the history of film:
That’s the magic of filmmaking for yah’.
You can throw the ugliest punches known to man for 20 or 30 years, but in the end; all it takes is the combined awesomeness of a character like Indiana Jones, and some awesome sound effects, and you have the makings of an action movie legend.
Thus is the difference between an “Indiana Jones Punch,” and a “Harrison Ford Punch.”
Anyway, that was “The Legend of the Harrison Ford Punch.”
Hopefully this has been an educational, and intellectually stimulating experience.