Azn Badger's Blog

What About the Lysine Contingency…?

Predators Sucked a Honey Badger’s Ass

And sucked it good...

Nimrod Antal’s Predators sucked donkey balls.

Like, FOH’ REAL.

Hah! Betcha' didn't think I could tie in the Hawaiian stuff with donkey balls, am I right?

Nothing happened in the first half of the movie.

My favorite actor in the movie was killed off way too early, and unceremoniously at that.

Adrien Brody spends the whole movie failing at imitating Christian Bale’s Batman voice.

Topher Grace is mostly useless, essentially still stuck playing Eric Forman (don’t ask me why Eric Forman has a Wikipedia article) from That 70’s Show.

So much of the film was made in homage to the first film in the series that it may as well have been a remake.

The Predators have virtually no presence in the film, physical or otherwise.

Oh yeah, and the last third of the movie, which is also curiously overlong; takes what little promise the film might have had, and proceeds to shit all over it.

With poop.

For 45 minutes.

Boy am I glad my brother paid for my ticket this time…

Filed under: Movies, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

6 Responses

  1. Aruze says:

    i could not agree with you more.
    after the first two most awesome movies ive ever experianced (Predator 1&2) this one was not even close to them in any way besides it happening in a Forest.
    it had No plot at ALL!!!! all the predators were pritty much useless and wore big fucking masks and oh yeah their all Super Predators What the fuck is that all about? the only awesome pred was the one that helped the pianist guy but why the hell was it all so helpful anyway, brings back bad bad memorys from AvP1 that was realy bad in the end.
    dont get me started on cristian bale seriously this guy did a better job than he will ever do in batman and omg in terminator 2. but seriously if this movie gets rated one of the best movies ever i am seriously going to shoot myself in the head with a fucking desert eagle.

  2. Marty says:

    Totally agree with you bro’. I am glad to be a child of the 80s and have had the privilege of watching all the greats (e.g., Aliens, Predator…) without worry of a horrid sequel to follow. We took the films for what they were: great entertainment. And, although would have liked to have had more, we had our treat and it was time to move on.

    • aznbadger says:

      Couldn’t agree with you more. “Entertainment” seems to be less and less of a factor in retarded action/horror/sci-fi movies these days. I miss the days when calling a film a “popcorn movie” was a complement.

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