Azn Badger's Blog

What About the Lysine Contingency…?

Safety Not Guaranteed – The Poster!

As promised, here’s a poster depicting the images that came to mind when I first heard news of the Safety Not Guaranteed movie.

From the description, the movie sounds like it’s gonna’ be more of a *Shudder!* “Indie” movie than anything else, however for the purposes of making this poster, y’know; interesting, I decided to go nuts and treat it like an action-adventure B-movie.

While I personally don’t care much for Jack Black or Michael Cera as actors or comedians, in all honesty; it wouldn’t really bother me if they were cast alongside an AK-47 and crowbar wielding Guile lookalike, whilst battling the Ultimate Warrior and his army of dinosaurs.

Truth be told, I used Black and Cera because I was able to find a good high-res photo of them from the unfunny shit-fest that is Year One.

It’s kind of ironic though, (but not in a “hip” sort of way) knowing Hollywood, I wouldn’t put it past them to throw a *GASP!* “Indie” actor like Michael Cera into a movie like this.

It’s almost a certainty that they’d hire Danny McBride for the role of The Mullet Man, most likely because his default haircut seems dangerously close to a mullet to begin with.

Personally, I’d rather see a beastly, wooden-as-fuck action dude like Dolph Lundgren take on the role, but that’s just me.

Anyway, thanks for takin’ a gander; see you tomorrow.

Filed under: Movies, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Announcements, HOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Alright folks, today the Azn Badger is gonna’ be a lazy bastard and take this opportunity to dole out a few announcements/orders that you would do well to follow up on.

ANNOUNCEMENT #1:

 

Wow, I guess good lighting does wonders for shitty makeup.

Remember that ill-fated indie financed trailer for a possible Mortal Kombat movie that made the rounds on Youtube awhile back?

Well, in case you don’t, here’s a link to a lengthy article that I pounded out regarding my thoughts on it.

Anyway, as it turns out, that particular video clip; while permanently removed from Youtube, went on to have not-so-ill a fate after all.

After much fussing, bellyaching, and talk of lawsuits, director Kevin Tancharoen and his crew have finally been given the greenlight to begin work on a Mortal Kombat film project, though the format is somewhat different from what was originally conceived.

Instead of a feature film, direct to video or otherwise; the project is going to be carried out as an online series, most likely for use in promoting the series’ upcoming newest installment.

The videos are expected to hit the web sometime in April, and I for one am looking forward to watching them.

Larnell Stovall is kind of a hot commodity in the fight choreography game as of now, so any chance I get to see his work is one I’ll be sure to capitalize on at every opportunity.

(Thanks to the people at Twitchfilm.com for posting the article that tipped me off to this hot news!)

ANNOUNCEMENT #2:

Ip Man 2 is coming to theaters in the US on January 28!

A long time ago I posted a huge article outlining my appreciation for Donnie Yen.

It was one of the first major articles I posted, and to date; remains one of the most viewed ones as well.

In that article, I made note of the fact that I was frustrated by the fact that despite my love for Donnie Yen movies, and indeed, kung fu movies in general; I’ve never really been given a chance to view any of them on the silver screen.

While I’ve owned Ip Man 2 for some time now, on 2 different formats; the prospect of seeing a film starring my hero Donnie Yen, on the big screen, is one that I feel I can’t afford to miss.

Theatrical releases of legitimate kung fu movies in the US are extremely rare, but for all intents and purposes this may end up being the only movie starring Donnie Yen that may ever be released here.

Rest assured, I intend to recruit a small army of friends, and plop their asses down in the theater to see this one, regardless of whether they’ve seen the first one or not.

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got at the moment, make sure to

Filed under: Kung Fu, Movies, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Roast Poster

Pictured: The poster that sidelined me from posting for 2 days.

A few days ago I mentioned that I was unable to get much writing done on account of a photoshop project that my brother asked me to do for him.

The project in question was a poster/flyer for a comedy roast he was going to be doing of a coworker of his.

It took me about 2 days of hard work, but I think I managed to do my brother proud.

At the outset of things, I asked my brother to lay out any particulars or essential elements he had in mind for the poster, to which he responded by telling me to just go nuts and do whatever I felt worked best.

*Sigh* I hate it when people tell me that, ’cause then it leaves me with no one to blame my fuck ups on but myself.

Oh well, I suppose it’s better than someone slinging a laundry list of bullshit demands at you form the outset.

In any case, as you’ll no doubt see above, I did in fact go nuts with this one; hopefully for the better.

Oh yeah, if you’re wondering why the fuck Nicolas Cage is on there, here’s a rundown of my thought process:

On the other hand, does Cameron Fucking Poe really need an explanation?

I wanted to throw something silly and over the top on the poster, y’know;  for effect.

I tapped my temple for a minute or 2, scanning the innumerable pop culture references housed in my skull for something epicly EPIC in terms of over the top-ness.

And wouldn’t you know it, The Wicker Man was the first (and funniest) thing to pop into my head.

That’s why Nic Cage is on the poster.

Another thing mentioning about the poster, is that the badger wearing the samurai helmet is likely going to be the banner/mascot for this blog whenever I decide to start, y’know; paying for it.

My brother suggested that I take the time to make a personal stamp or mark for myself for promotional purposes, with his initial suggestion being something along the lines of a badger face on the M. Bison hat in place of the skull emblem.

Pictured: A shitty cosplay M. Bison hat.

While I was totally on board for the Bison Badger emblem idea, (after all, we are brothers) I ended up doing the samurai helmet thing instead ’cause I felt the “Azn” part of the blog title should be represented as much as the “badger” part.

Thanks for the suggestion bro’, got thinkin’ all big n’shit now.

Anyway, in case you are truly fuckin’ dense or something, the names and faces on the poster have been changed in the interest of preserving the subject’s privacy/modesty.

Hope everyone likes the poster as much as I do!

Filed under: Games, Movies, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

STILL Poster-ing… Take It Away, Farley.

Yup, still photoshop-ing the poster for my brother.

He suggested I make a banner/icon/logo, and being as he’s my older/wiser brother; I’m feel it’s in my best interest to follow his advice.

Doing so effectively doubles my workload at the moment, but I’m happy with how things are turning out so far.

Truth be told, all of this could’ve probably been done in a night had it not been for WORK getting in the way of my schedule.

Anyway, I’ll probably finish this stuff late tonight or sometime tomorrow, so in the meantime please enjoy this most awesome of Farley clips:

CLICK HERE

Filed under: Movies, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Poster-ing… Busy Yourself With Some Farley.

Sorry, no post for tonight.

My brother asked me to do (another) poster for him and his work buddies, so I’ll probably be busy photoshop-ing for the next couple of nights.

In place of my ramblings this evening, you will instead be treated to a clip of the comic genius that is Chris Farley

A clip that just happens to be taken from one of his worst films.

Anyway, please enjoy watching Chris Farley fight an eagle puppet while I bust my ass and burn my retinas toiling away in photoshop:

Filed under: Movies, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Hell At The Bell: An Epic Battle of Gluttonous Proportions!

Well, aside from finally updating the Robocop post of the Top 10 Best Overkills in Movies, you’re looking at how I spent my day.

I changed the faces and blacked out the last names for the purposes of maintaining the anonymity of the event participants.

Hey, they might be gluttons, but they’re people too…

My brother has been involved in competitive eating with some of his coworkers as of late, and this time around he requested that I make a promotional poster for the event.

I was more than happy to oblige.

Anyway, it ended up a little more “extreme” than I had originally intended, (my first impulse was to go with the 1930′s boxing poster look) but given the inherent goofiness of the event, I think it works.

I guess you could say it has a biker bar/UFC kind of aesthetic to it.

I know, “yuck.”

Either way, I think it works, and I certainly put enough time into to it, so I think I’m pleased with it.

Now, all I can do is hope and pray that my brother doesn’t bring shame to the family by losing!

Filed under: Boxing, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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