Azn Badger's Blog

What About the Lysine Contingency…?

Remember When Hulk Hogan Got Raped By A Mummy?

Ah, The Dungeon of Doom.

Few other stables in wrestling have produced as many fail-tastic gimmicks, and absolutely horrid matches as The Dungeon of Doom.

Created in the pre-NWO era, The Dungeon was WCW gaggle of supervillain-esque heels that feuded with Hulk Hogan on and off for about 2 years.

While I’m guessing they were supposed to be a legitimate threat, they really came across as the Cobra to Hogan’s G.I. Joe.

Well actually, given the kind of magical/supernatural bent that they had for a lot of the characters, it’d probably be more accurate to call them the Skeletor to Hogan’s He-Man.

Despite this, it’s funny to look back on The Dungeon and think of some of the (decent) name wrestlers that passed through it’s toxic halls.

For example, Lex Luger, Jimmy Hart, The Giant and Meng the Merciless all did a tour with The Dungeon and look how they turned out.

Well, at least The Big Show went on to to greener pastures…

The point is, The Dungeon could’ve been better had their matches and storylines been booked better.

And if they didn’t let Brutus Beefcake do his whole “Zodiac” thing:

Jesus fuck that was some stupid-ass shit…

Anyway, let’s talk about the clip at the top of this post:

I can’t recall the actual context of it, but from what I can tell, The Giant had Hogan in a bearhug, and then “The Yeti” arrived and decided to join in and help out…

Oh boy, you know it’s bad when they have a guy clearly dressed as a mummy, that they decide to name The Yeti.

Or is that “Yeh-Tay?”

I honestly couldn’t tell based on how the announcer kept FUCKING UP the pronunciation.

Either due to his lack of in-ring ability, or due to his love for insta-tanned man-butt, The Yet then proceeded to embrace Hogan from behind, thereby sandwiching him between himself and The Giant; and then vigorously gyrate and thrust his hips in a suggestive manner.

To their credit, the announcing team continually make claims that “This could be the end of Hulkamania” to reassure the audience of the urgency of the situation, but even so; we all know what was goin’ on…

Filed under: Movies, Uncategorized, Wrestling, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Remember When Randy Savage Teamed Up With Deebo?

Remember how I said Randy Savage cut some of the best promos ever?

Well, this….. Isn’t one of them.

The promo in question saw Randy Savage teamed up with Sensational Sherri, and Zeus AKA Tommy Lister; the villain of No Holds Barred, an awesome  film starring Hulk Hogan.

Why was No Hold’s Barred awesome you ask?

“Dookie,” that’s why:

*ANYWAY* In a brilliant cross-promotional move, Zeus was brought off the silver-screen and into the real-life WWF ring to feud with Hogan.

Said feud eventually resulted in a tag-team match at Summerslam ’89 between the teams of Hogan and Brutus the Barber Beefcake, and Randy Savage and Zeus.

Despite this, the actual culmination of the feud, and the match that the promo above was for; was a steel cage rematch at an event titled No Holds Barred, once again in cross-promotion of the movie of the same name.

While I can’t speak for the quality of the matches, (I’ve heard they weren’t so great…) as I mentioned before, as and you can most likely plainly tell, the promo I posted above is pretty fuckin’ stupid.

Sure, Macho Man is his usual cool-ass self, constantly shouting “NOOOOUUUU HOLDS BARRRRRED!!!” at the top of his lungs and yanking on the cage like a mad-man; but in all honesty, the whole thing is about as organized as a soccer hooligan stampede.

I hate to lay the blame on him, ’cause let’s face it, Deebo’s the shit; but I feel that Mr. Lister really dropped the ball in this promo.

He does well enough to keep the intensity flowing, with his crazy eyes and sporadic yelling, but there’s just too many moments where you can tell Macho Man’s got something he’s trying to say, when out of nowhere big Deebo screams and completely drowns him out.

Hell, by the end, when Sherri joins in and everybody’s yelling at once, you really can’t make out a damn word of it.

Needless to say, timing is not one of Deebo’s strong suits.

Well, except for maybe “NOOOOUUUU HOLDS BARRRRRED!!!”

Anyway, I thought this was silly, so I figured I’d share it with you all.

Shut up.  I do not have writer’s block…

Aw shit, somebody done made Deebo bulletproof!

Filed under: Movies, Uncategorized, Wrestling, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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