Honestly… I think the context of this clip is better left unexplained.
All you need to know is:
Yes, they tried to sell this as the “Death of Stone Cold.”
And yes, I miss the Attitude Era just as much as you do.
November 26, 2011 • 6:18 PM 1
August 29, 2011 • 9:52 PM 0
This was a classic wrestling moment of the modern age that I’m very proud to say I got to see when it first aired.
Stone Cold was a pivotal, if not the pivotal figure in the birth and ascension of the Attitude Era of wrestling that I was raised on, however in all honesty; he was never really a favorite of mine.
I liked his swagger and I admired his wrestling ability, however my allegiance to The Rock, a man whom Austin frequently feuded with; has basically been unwavering since day one.
Like I said, Austin was great for the organization, and a terrific wrestler to boot; but for whatever reason he just never appealed to me as much as some of the other guys out there.
I suppose it didn’t help when the guy adopted “WHAT!?”, perhaps the single most annoying and persistent catch phrase I can recall in recent memory; as his calling card.
Despite whatever problems I might have with Austin, I still watch his shitty direct to video movies out of principle.
The clip at the top of this post represents perhaps the finest example of the WWF phenomena that was “Austin Stunning The McMahons.”
Vince McMahon and his family used to get Stunned pretty much twice a week, but the clip above represents perhaps the only instance when he managed to get each and every one of them consecutively in one segment.
I think the best part of this segment, was the use of Austin’s signature beer toss throughout.
Even if you couldn’t give 2 shits about wrestling, it’s hard not to laugh at the sight of Austin getting progressively more and more drunk as he Stuns his way through the McMahon clan.
Also, it needs to be said that Linda McMahon’s reaction to the Stunner is perhaps the single worst sell of it I’ve ever seen.
The best selling of the Stunner of course belongs to The Rock:
August 10, 2011 • 9:13 PM 0
The above clip was a moment of wrestling history that I was not fortunate to have seen live, but one that affected me in my youth nonetheless.
Actually, it wasn’t really this moment specifically, but rather the era in which it took place in as a whole.
It was the year 2000, and the modern generation of WCW had pretty much run it’s course.
All through the 90′s, my brother and I had spent our Monday evenings clicking back and forth between WCW and the WWF, but by 2000; it became increasingly apparent that WCW was rapidly losing it’s audience.
Many reasons have been cited as to the cause of WCW’s demise, though most would agree that poor management and booking were chief among them.
Despite boasting an immensely talented roster of wrestlers that were often capable of outperforming the WWF stable, the most visible reasons WCW failed; at least to me, were the fact that the writing was vastly inferior, and there were far too many older, big name wrestlers that were being paid too much to do too little.
Seriously man, as much publicity and brand recognition as guys like Hulk Hogan can bring you, at the end of the day if they take the biggest paycheck and only wrestle once a month; it’s probably not gonna’ be worth your while to rely on them to sell your program.
That being said, one of the other commonly known elements of FAIL that contributed to WCW’s downfall, was a booker named Vince Russo.
Despite bringing the same “edginess” of his WWF writing to WCW, for whatever reason; it just didn’t work.
Under Russo, character arcs moved uncomfortably fast, titles changed frequently to the point of making them irrelevant, and to top it all off; David Arquette was given the opportunity to own the world title, however briefly.
For those keeping score, that last part is regarded as one of the darker moments in wrestling history.
From what I understand, this whole operation was basically a sloppy means to remove Hogan from the company due to his excessive price tag.
It worked, but not without the instigation of a few FCC violations.
Apparently, Hogan refused to lose the aforementioned match against Jarrett, (I don’t blame him. Jeff Jarrett’s a piece of shit.) ordering a rewrite as per a creative control clause in his contract.
Anyway, after Hogan’s blow-up, Russo would surprise everyone by coming out and proceeding deliver his own profanity ridden, unscripted promo:
That’s what I call professionalism!
While Hulk Hogan did in fact get the boot from WCW, this silly wildly over-the-top gesture proved to be for naught, as WCW would end up folding within the next year.
Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.
Now, for something stupid:
July 13, 2011 • 5:42 PM 1
That being said, Mae Young giving birth to what many presume was some sort of malformed hand; fits into the timeline as being closer to a “WTF? Moment” than anything else.
Unlike many of the moments, I’ve compiled on this blog over the past several months, this was one that I actually got to see when it aired.
At the time, The Fabulous Moolah and her associate, Mae Young; a pair of female wrestlers from the 40′s and 50′s, had begun appearing in WWF storylines with surprising degree of regularity.
Much like seemingly every network sitcom every made, Moolah and Mae Young were cast as “hip” old ladies.
Moolah took on the role of the straight woman, while Mae was her perverted sidekick with a dirty mind.
On numerous occasions, Mae made passes at a number of the WWF wrestling crew; and even took it upon herself to crash a bikini expo at the Royal Rumble, taking off her top in the middle of the ring.
It was spectacle I would like to say I didn’t witness on live pay-per-view, but unfortunately; I did… And it wasn’t pretty.
Anyway, “The Hand Birthing” scene came as a result of a storyline involving Mae Young’s romantic affiliation with Mark Henry AKA Sexual Chocolate.
I honestly don’t remember how the relationship came about, but the point; in the storyline the 400 lbs. Mark Henry was supposedly fucking the very old, and very frail Mae Young.
Somehow, some way, this resulted in Ms. Young not breaking her hip or being snapped in half; but in becoming pregnant with Mark Henry’s chocolate love child.
After they milked the storyline for all it was worth, the whole thing came to a head when Mae Young was rushed backstage to delivery the “baby.”
Dirty whore that she was, I’ll never forget when Mae called a halt to the delivery process, demanding to light up one of the biggest cigars I’ve ever seen in my life.
Anyway, as you probably saw in the clip above; Mae Young ultimately gave birth to a rubber hand slathered in pink goo.
It was dumb, it was more than a little weird; but it was a product of a time when I could still proudly say I watched wrestling every week.
Considering how God awful wrestling has been in the past few years, I’d give a lot to go back to the days of Mae Young pooping out rubber hands.
May 20, 2011 • 3:30 PM 5
Awhile back I posted on this blog about a nickname I received at work.
That nickname was of course, Bonesaw; Macho Man Randy Savage’s character from the 2002 Spider-Man movie:
Said nickname was given to me on account of my tendency to randomly spout off various Savage-isms with alarming regularity.
Yes, I have practiced my Randy Savage in the mirror, and yes; I am quite adept at mimicking the awesomeness of his majesty.
That being said, being as the Macho Man was taken from us earlier today; I feel it’s my duty to use this blog post to pay homage to his memory.
While I would consider myself a fan of wrestling, the majority of Randy Savage’s more famous moments actually came before my time.
Growing up, I caught the tail end of the classic era, and kept up with the WWF and WCW stuff all the way through the Monday Night Wars/Attitude era; essentially giving up on the “sport” around the time The Rock transformed from The Rock to his lesser equivalent, the appropriately named, Dwayne.
Through all of this, Randy Savage didn’t really have much of a presence for me in wrestling.
Where he did have my attention though, was on Saturday mornings where he would frequently interrupt my cartoons by blowing through walls n’shit to preach the word of the Slim Jim:
To date, I have yet to consume a Slim Jim, though I’d be lying if the Savage didn’t make me feel like I was missing out on something awesome.
While I don’t remember seeing the Macho Man actually wrestle all that often, I feel fortunate to have grown up watching his mic performances; as they were, and still are; some of the best of all time.
When I was a kid, the WWF was largely in transition; foolishly trying to outmode characters like the Macho Man, and replace them with unworthy “badasses” like Diesel, or the Ultimate Warrior.
This resulted in Randy Savage being cast off to the side, acting more like a manager than an actual wrestler.
This would carry on well into his tenure in the WCW, though not without good reason.
Simply put, the Macho Man was a wizard when it came to pageantry and mic skills.
Not long ago I posted a promo video of the Macho Man doing a promo for the new WWF All-Stars (no force on this Earth can make me say the “E”) videogame, and while he may have aged a great deal since we last saw him; holy fuck did he still have it:
Seriously man, if wrestlers these days could do half of what Randy Savage did on the mic, at any stage in his career; I’d still be watching today’s so-called wrestling.
That being said, while I wasn’t really around to see any of it; there was a time when Randy Savage was one of the best wrestlers in the business.
A long time ago I remember looking up the “best wrestling matches of all time,” and one match that kept popping up was of course Randy Savage’s energetic match with Ricky Steamboat at Wrestlemania III:
For it’s time, and by any standards really; this match was a testament to the power of in-ring storytelling.
Randy Savage was an exceptional wrestler, and an icon of my youth.
It saddens me to know that he’s gone, though I’m happy he decided to appear in the WWF All-Stars game.
The game might not be that great, but at least it’ll give the youth of today a little window into what wrestling was like with the Macho Man Randy Savage:
Colorful, exciting, and just plain BETTER.