… I know a certain someone who’d be able to fill the role just fine.
March 31, 2011 • 6:53 PM 7
March 30, 2011 • 4:41 PM 3
Well, apparently the bloggers/tweeters/comic book dorks won, ’cause it would appear that the producers of the new Wonder Woman TV show made an attempt to address a few of the innumerable complaints about the costume.
A few days I ago, I myself pounded out 1,000+ hating on the costume, so personally; it makes me happy to see some of the complaints I had addressed in some form.
While the costume does in fact still look like hot garbage, I must admit; the change of the boot color from blue to red does wonders to improve the cohesiveness of the costume, as well as better adhere to the history of the character.
Also, I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to see the high heels of the costume removed in favor of far more action-ready flats.
Seriously, the prospect of seeing an actress struggle to perform action scenes in 5-inch heels is a nightmare that I’d really prefer not to think about.
Not that I’m going to be wasting my time watching this show or anything.
Anyway, on the prototype costume; the boots bore the same color as the ugly as condom pants; making the arrangement of the costume look utterly ridiculous and poorly coordinated.
On the same note, the material of the pants has been (thankfully) altered from some sort of cheap raincoat-like material, to a more breathable; and more darkly shaded fabric.
Given, it still looks like ass; but the stars running along the seam lines add a little bit of character to the costume, and the material seems more practical; so I guess it’s a good thing.
In all, I’d say every change made to the costume is a positive.
A shit donut covered in a fresh new layer of powdered shit is still in fact shit, if you get my meaning though.
Personally, it’s hard for me to perceive a live-action Wonder Woman that could be considered anything less than laughable; but even so, I guess this is a decent attempt.
Decent, but nowhere near good.
March 28, 2011 • 9:47 PM 8
Fallout 2 is one of my favorite games of all time.
I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve stepped into the boots of the savior of Vault 13, but I’d figure the number would have to be close to triple digits.
For the most part I skipped Fallout 1, largely due to the absurd degree of enjoyment I experienced from my time with the sequel.
That being said, Fallout 2 had a charm to it that few other games, in my eyes; have managed to live up to.
There’s just something about the inherent minimalism of the first 2 Fallout games, and indeed most text heavy adventure games; that lends so much to the experience.
Reading a graphic description of how I just blew some poor shmuck’s eyeball out his ear, while watching the same shit different day stock death animation play out; was a primitive gameplay element that really worked for me.
Which brings me to my feelings on Fallout 3.
In short, I really didn’t care much for Fallout 3.
Being as it’s a Bethesda product, I came into the game fully expecting the game to play like “Oblivion With Guns,” (and equally shitty animations) and to be honest; I don’t think anyone could dispute the fact that it does.
There was a time in my life when I played a lot of Oblivion.
I missed out on Morrowind, but regardless; Oblivion was a neat game with a colorful world and an impressive breadth of content to uncover.
Sure, there were a shit ton of problems and issues that cropped up while you played it, but for the most part; my time with Oblivion was a positive experience.
Fallout 3 however, despite borrowing several ideas and gameplay systems from Oblivion; just didn’t do it for me.
The first major problem that I’d like to address in Fallout 3, was the fact that the dialogue system feels weak compared to Oblivion, or even previous Fallout games.
That’s right, I said “first.”
As stupid/pointless as the speechcraft system in Oblivion was, I kind of liked the idea of playing a brief mini-game to stand-in for the very real process of developing a rapport with someone.
In short, Oblivion gave one the option to improve their standing with a person through idle chit-chat, thusly expanding the number of subjects they could converse with them about; and the depths of which they could probe into said topics.
Fallout 3 ties it’s dialogue options directly to your character’s skill ratings, with speech skill centric options being listed with a percentage of success statistic.
In other words, if you have a high enough rating in appropriate areas; then a special speech option becomes available.
What I discovered, early on; was the fact that all of these special speech options, were the “right” thing to say.
In Fallout 2, the “right” thing to say wasn’t necessarily the appropriate thing to say.
I can recall an instance or 2, particularly in New Reno; wherein I said something that seemed lucid, that seemed like what needed to be said; only to have the character I was speaking to take offense to my logic and blow me off.
This wasn’t because I didn’t have a high enough speech rating, but rather because I failed to read the character of their personality properly, and simply said the “wrong” thing.
By my reckoning, there wasn’t a single person I wasn’t able to talk down in Fallout 3.
With all of the “right” dialogue choices clearly outlined for me, all of the guess work and intricacies of conversations faded away the moment my skill ratings got high enough.
Honestly, the “right” comments were so boldly outlined; that I’m pretty sure I managed to get through more than a few conversations without even reading what people were saying.
That’s enough about that, let’s move on; shall we?
I think a huge part of the problem for me, was the scrounger/pack rat mentality the game instills in you through scattering usable/pick-up-able items fuckin’ EVERYWHERE.
I understand that about 80% of what you find in the game is in fact junk, and not really all that useful; but the fact of the matter is, there’s simply too much shit to pick up/look at/jam up your ass.
Seriously, I don’t even want to think about how many minutes or hours of my life I spent dumping shit out of my inventory, picking up a busted-ass rifle, using said rifle to repair my slightly less busted-to-shit rifle, and re-picking up my previously dumped shit.
I hardly got anywhere in the main story of Fallout 3, quitting around the time I first got power armor; but rest assured, I did every fuckin’ fetch quest and sidequest up to that point.
I’m a completist, I do shit like that.
That’s why sandbox/open world games never work out for me, ’cause in trying to do everything, I end up accomplishing nothing.
*Ahem!* Let’s get back on topic, shall we?
Another gripe I had with Fallout 3 that was somewhat similar to the hoarding bid’ness of the gameplay, was the fact that items and equipment felt somewhat “cheaper.”
I use the word “cheaper” in the sense that, with so many items strewn about the environments; the frequency of quality items, or failing that; shitty items that can be pawned for profit, made most every item I ran across seem far less important or special.
In Fallout 2, good armor and guns were really fucking hard to get your hands on unless you were a really skilled thief, had a shit ton of money, or managed to kill someone equipped with said items.
All of the above methods required either high skill ratings, a little energon, or a lot of luck to enact.
Not only that, even if one were to have all of the above going for them; the number of items in any given environment was significantly lower than in Fallout 3, resulting in items being scarcer, and thusly more vital.
In Fallout 3, I can’t think of a single moment wherein I couldn’t afford to buy whatever the fuck I wanted, nor can I think of a time in which my inventory wasn’t full of decent shit that I was never going to use due to the extraordinary wealth of better shit I’d run across on a regular basis.
I think the worst example of this that I can think of, was at the very beginning of the game.
I just came out of the Vault, and the game told me to go to Megaton.
Given that I’m me, and I’m not one to go anywhere without looking for hidden goodies first; the first thing I did, was run up onto a collapsed highway.
To my surprise, I happened across a hoard of bandits that wanted my nuts.
Despite my being armed with little more than a baseball bat, using the power of circle strafing and bunny hopping; I beat the ever-loving shit out of about 20 bandits and took all of their shit.
That’s right, I fought 20 bandits, with a bat; and took all their good shit, thusly putting me ahead of the curve in terms of equipment and weaponry for, I don’t know; THE WHOLE FUCKING GAME.
Speaking of killing 20 bandits with a bat, that brings me to another gripe I had about Fallout 3: the “cheapness” of life within the game.
Killing someone, anyone; especially in the early portions of Fallout 2, was a fuckin’ EVENT.
Given the turn-based, purely statistic based structure of Fallout 2′s gameplay, it was very much appropriate that difficult battles; wherein your character or his party were severely outclassed or outnumbered, were really fuckin’ hard to win.
I’d never say Fallout 2′s combat was realistic, but it’s inherent difficulty made it seem appropriate given the nature of the game’s environment.
Fallout 2 was a mean game that often took it upon itself to dick-slap you across the face and remind you that, as cool as your character was; he was still just a man.
As opposed to a Batman, who is of course a symbol; and thusly cannot be killed or corrupted.
Fallout 3 seems to have tossed this concept out the motherfuckin’ window and into a 4-lane highway.
As mentioned above, I took out 20 bandits, with a bat; all within the first 5 minutes of the game.
Admittedly, that was kind of cool at the time, as I can recall humming the Conan theme at some point during all the mayhem and carnage; however after it started happening every 5 minutes, it started to bother me.
During my time with Fallout 3, I killed hundreds upon hundreds of raiders, robots and crab monsters.
I did that in Fallout 2 as well, (with the exception of the crab monsters, of course) but the only difference is; it took me the whole fucking game to achieve said kill stats, not the first half of the game.
You what’s really fucked up though?
Of all the things I killed, I’m pretty sure I ended up taking out Super Mutants more than anything else.
The LOU FUCKING FERRIGNO’S of the Fallout universe.
In Fallout 2, Super Mutants would utterly wreck your shit.
You could be decked out in power armor, and rockin’ a motherfuckin’ Bozar; but Super Mutants could still tear your ass up unless you came in with a plan.
In Fallout 3, I found myself killing Super Mutants with alarming regularity.
Not only that, I did so with leather armor and a fuckin’ hunting rifle.
To be fair, I could do that in Fallout 2 as well, but only because that game afforded you the option of scoring pinpoint shots to people’s eyes and radioactive packages; making it easier to disable or severely cripple your enemies.
*Sigh* Believe it or not, I’ve got more; so I’m just gonna’ dump these last few gripes in bullet point fashion.
Money is far too easy to acquire, given that anyone will buy anything from you for a decent price, even if you never put a single skill point into barter like I did.
Dungeon textures and layouts are cookie cutter at best. There wasn’t a Vault or cave I walked into that felt at all different or unique.
Karma is too easy to acquire, (through giving water to the unfortunate) nor is it seemingly all that important.
Perks are too frequent, and too powerful. Seriously, since when does Bloody Mess give you a damage bonus?
Weapons and enemies aren’t varied enough. Like the dungeon textures, everything kind of felt same shit different day.
Anyway, there’s probably other shit I can say about Fallout 3; but in all honesty, I think I’m running out of steam.
I bought Fallout 3 for $10 retail, knowing full well that I probably wasn’t going to like it.
From what I read and saw before picking it up, it seemed to me like a pretty good game; but in my heart, I knew from the get go that in my eyes; it just wasn’t Fallout.
In all, it’s still a neat game world; with some neat characters and places, but for me it all just seems like too much.
I think the first-person perspective and 3D engine hurt the game in the sense that it forced the game world to contain all the things that a real world would.
In the real world, cans probably would be fuckin’ everywhere following a nuclear holocaust.
In the world of Fallout 2, said cans indeed were apparent; however they served as static scenery and couldn’t be interacted with.
In Fallout 3, pointless interactive shit like this is fuckin’ EVERYWHERE, simply because; in order to maintain the illusion of a livable 3D world, it must.
Anyway, I ended up selling my copy of Fallout 3 to my brother; so for me, the nightmare is over.
Hopefully this marks the end of my days raging on Fallout 3.
Come to think of it, here’s hoping my brother doesn’t suffer the same fate…
March 27, 2011 • 6:20 PM 0
After months of indecision, I finally took the plunge and decided to pick myself up a copy of Heavy Rain.
I’ve thoroughly enjoyed every minute of the game thus far, so much so that I’ve been playing the game in long stretches; something that is atypical of my gaming habits these days.
Unfortunately, yesterday one of said protracted play sessions came to a grinding halt in the form of the game freezing on me.
In response, I waited a minute or 2 to see if things would pick up again; only to find that the game had indeed locked-up so severely that I was forced to turn off my PS3 via it’s embedded power button instead of the wireless button on the controller.
Following this, I ejected the disc, gave it a once over with some cleaning materials; and then popped it right back into the console.
As I did this, I found myself thinking of my days blowing on NES cartridges for minutes at a time to get them to work, or even worse; tilting my Playstation 1 at a perfect 45 degree angle to get it to read discs properly.
While those were happy memories, having Heavy Rain lock up was an experience utterly devoid of joy.
Upon reinserting the game, things would run smoothly for a time, only to crap out an lock up a few hours down the road; usually during the beginning of a new chapter.
Despite this minor annoyance, I had buckets of fun with Heavy Rain yesterday; making it unfortunate that it would refuse to allow me to play it today.
That’s right, after randomly locking up a handful of times yesterday; today I encountered a sequence that is seemingly unplayable.
I tried restarting the console numerous times, and after reading through a number of reports regarding a similar phenomenon; even took the time to reinstall the game and it’s obscenely massive patch, resulting in virtually zero forward progression.
I don’t know if it’s my disc, my console, or just the game itself; but for now, in the house of the Azn Badger; Heavy Rain has taken it’s ball and gone home.
To date, I believe this is the first time a current gen game has ever frozen on me.
As mentioned earlier, freezing or otherwise misbehaving games and consoles are nothing new to me; but for whatever reason, I find this instance to be particularly vexing.
We’ve come a long way since the days of blowing on carts, and in all honesty; I feel like shit like this just shouldn’t happen anymore, not with the amount of time and money invested in products of the gaming industry these days.
I know it sounds like I’m whining, but bear in mind; I’ve never been red-ringed before, so my experience with the current crop of consoles is both limited and mostly fortunate.
Anyway, I’ll likely be exchanging my copy of Heavy Rain for a different disc, though based on the fact that my current disc seems perfectly clean, and loads quickly to boot; I’m not so sure it’s going to help anything.
For what it’s worth, I do like the game; and sincerely hope I can get a chance to finish it, especially considering there have been a handful of decisions I’ve made during the course of the game that I’d really like a chance to approach from a different angle.
See yah’ tomorrow.
March 25, 2011 • 10:08 PM 0
Every once in awhile I feel the need to take a breather and do a lazy post, y’know; to keep me sane.
Consider tonight’s post one of those lazy posts.
When I was a little kid, I remember my mom and her sisters telling me stories about “The 8 Samurai” movies that they watched in the theater as children.
In all, it took 20 years of research and picking of my aunties’ brains to figure out exactly which version was the one they saw so many years ago; making this evening’s viewing particularly significant in terms of nostalgic value.
Truth be told, despite some truly bizarre and hokey effects; Satomi Hakkenden was actually pretty action-packed for it’s time, and definitely worth watching.
It was especially fun getting to hear my mom excitedly yell, “Hey! I remember that!” every so often.
I think that alone was worth the insanely long wait.
Anyway, here’s a link to a funny article about comic book movie douchebags that my friend sent to me the other day.
See you tomorrow, hopefully with a more legit post!
March 24, 2011 • 9:13 PM 0
To my knowledge, this marks something like the 30th time the game has been re-released.
From what I read over at IGN, it sounds like this version of the game will include all of the extra items and bonus content first introduced in the Playstation 2 port of the Gamecube original, while also updating the visuals to accommodate high definition technology ala the God of War HD Collection on the PS3.
While I do indeed already own a copy of the PS2 version of Resident Evil 4, ludicrous as it may seem; I’m very much tempted to pick up this new version of the game once it comes out.
I don’t feel I’m exaggerating when I say Resident Evil 4 was and is a terrific game of near unmatched quality; and one that I’m always looking for another excuse to pick up and play again.
Despite being a sequel in a hugely successful franchise, Resident Evil 4′s gameplay mechanics represented a brilliant departure from the norm; spawning a host of imitators and raising the bar sky high for gamer’s expectations of breadth of content, quality of visuals; and precision of controls.
To date, I’m still amazed by the sheer volume of content contained within Resident Evil 4, as well as the attention to detail and overall cohesiveness of the overall package.
In a series known for consistent excellence, Resident Evil 4 was the most boldly different and groundbreaking entry; ranking just behind Resident Evil 2 in terms of overall quality by my reckoning.
It’s funny though, despite all my praise for Resident Evil 4; I still kind of bear a grudge towards it for being as fucking amazing as it was.
You see, 4 was so fuckin’ successful that it seems to have had the effect of causing Capcom to subscribe to the belief that the Resident Evil series should continue working from the formula it established.
Take for instance Resident Evil 5, which was essentially a sub-par carbon copy 4 despite being several years removed from it’s predecessor.
Leave it to Capcom to throw their hands up and say “If it ain’t broke don’t fix it”…
Personally, I’m still longing for the day when we’ll see Resident Evil return to it’s clunky, fixed camera, survival-horror roots.
Anyway, this was me simultaneously reminiscing about and announcing the re-release of Resident Evil 4.
Now, all they need to do is remake Resident Evil 2 with current-gen graphics and the same tender loving care that they gave to the Gamecube remake of the first game…
March 23, 2011 • 10:51 PM 5
As outlined in my post yesterday, I’m not what you’d call a Wonder Woman fan.
Truth be told, I know close to nothing about the character outside of the very broadest of factoids.
In other words, I know what she does, I have an idea of what she stands for, and I guess I‘m kind of familiar with the A-listers in her rogues gallery.
Huh, now that I think of it; even without reading any of her stories, I guess I know a little more about Wonder Woman than the average 20-something male.
One thing I cannot claim to know a whole lot about, or even anything; when it comes to Wonder Woman, is the evolution of her costume.
In previous posts on this blog, I’ve voiced my opinions regarding the evolutions of numerous comic book characters, including the likes of Captain America, Spider-Man, Batman, and Venom, and while I’d love to do that for this post, unfortunately I feel unqualified to do so.
That being said, today there will be no history lesson; rather I’ll just be looking at the new TV Wonder Woman costume, and giving my honest opinion, not as a comic book reader, but as a dude with the bare minimum of fashion sense and eye for design.
Introductions aside, let’s get to an image of the costume in question:
Seriously man, it not only looks cheap, but the design of it is dangerously uninspired to the point that I’m tempted to say it looks worse than you’re average Halloween costume.
Wow, I guess I can really be an asshole when I set my mind to it.
Anyway, I suppose explain where I’m coming from with all this:
The golden pieces on the costume look plasticky and cheap.
The seams on the bustier are obnoxiously front-and-center in their size and placement, creating distracting lines that hurt the cohesiveness of the outfit as a whole.
Not only that, said seams also make the top seem very restrictive and corset-like; a garment that seems a little strange for a character so representative of powerful femininity.
On that note, this costume reeks of being a bitch to move around in, suggesting whatever action scenes it’s used in will likely suck meerkat-anus.
Moving downward, the element of this costume that catches my eye first; and in deed grinds my gears the most, is the pants.
Maybe it’s just me, but the Wonder Woman in my head doesn’t wear pants.
No, I don’t fantasize about Wonder Woman; what I mean to say, is that I’ve always pictured Wonder Woman wearing star covered spanks, y’know; those pantie lookin’ things cheerleaders wear.
That being said, I really fuckin’ hate the pants on this Wonder Woman costume.
It’s clear the producers likely threw them in there for the sake of decency in our sexually repressed culture, but unfortunately; said pants have absolutely no character to them, making for a boring design element that feels pointless at best.
Seriously, if anything on this costume looks straight off-the-rack, it’d have to be the pants.
Probably the worst part of this costume though, is definitely the boots.
Seriously, who in the holy blue fuck thought it would be a good idea to have Wonder Woman’s boots be the same color as her boring-ass pants?
Nevermind that, who the fuck figured it’d be wise to give her high fuckin’ heels?
I’m not a woman.
I don’t know what it’s like to wear high heels.
What I do know though, is that when it comes to doing action sequences; high heels are a big hurdle to leap.
I have no idea how tall the actress playing Wonder Woman is, so I’m hoping the heels were a design choice meant to allow her achieve a stature appropriate of an Amazonian princess.
More than likely though, the heels, and indeed the boob-highlighting bustier; were likely thrown in there because some genius figured:
“She’s a girl! Let’s make her all girly n’shit!”
Well, I think I hated virtually every element of the costume imaginable, to the point in which I’m pretty sure there’s not a single ornament or seam on it that I like about it.
In all, it’s an atrocious design that will probably do wonders to shit all over Wonder Woman’s reputation for years to come.
March 22, 2011 • 9:48 PM 0
I’ve never read a Wonder Woman comic in my life.
I watched the Lynda Carter TV show on Nick at Nite when I was a kid, and I her recent DC animated movie to be the cream of the animated crop; but for the most part, Wonder Woman is an unknown property to me.
Though she supposedly stands as an integral pillar to the “Trinity” of DC’s superhero pantheon, in all honesty I’ve always kind of viewed her as being a tier below Batman, and even Superman; in terms of prestige.
That’s not to say the character doesn’t have an incredible breadth of history behind it, or that the character seems lacking in terms of ability next to the aforementioned pair of ass-kickers; rather I’m just saying that Batman and Superman are like the good old fashioned American combo of ketchup and mustard, while Wonder Woman is more like hummus or some shit.
Batman and Superman are household names, whose most significant exploits are often known to those that have no interest in comic books, whereas Wonder Woman is known; but very likely an enigma to most.
*Whew!* That was one helluva’ simile!
I suppose if any value were to be extracted from the above mess of similes and bullshit, I’d say it’d have to be that:
I don’t do Wonder Woman.
I know the extent of her powers.
I have a rough understanding of her origins.
For the life of me though, I don’t know of a single significant event in her entire 70 year history.
Over the past decade or so, I’ve read review after glowing review praising Wonder Woman’s stories, due in no small part to Gail Simone’s impeccable writing talents.
Based on that statement, as well as numerous other complementary reviews I’ve read; clearly there’s quality entertainment to be found in some of Wonder Woman’s stories
Despite this, as well as my love for Gail Simone’s Secret Six series, I’ve yet to flip open a Wonder Woman trade.
I think part of the problem for me with Wonder Woman, is the inherent “ooginess” that comes from being a young man facing the prospect of reading a comic wherein a scantly clad woman runs around and beats the piss out of people.
I’m not a prude.
I have a cock just like every other boy down the block.
It’s just that when it comes to the idea of reading comics like this, no matter how well written or lavishly illustrated; I can’t help but feel just a little bit dirty.
I’d like to read a Wonder Woman trade at some point, as I’ve been largely impressed by Wonder Woman’s guest appearances in some of other DC trades I’ve read; but for now my bookshelf shall remain Wonder-less.
I know it’s silly, but for the most part; this “oogie” issue is the only thing holding me back from giving Wonder Woman a shot.
Well, that and the horrifying prospect of being made to look like a pervert as I purchase a Wonder Woman trade for the inevitably female register clerk at the bookstore.
Anyway, this whole post came about as a result of the recent announcement of the new Wonder Woman TV series.
I definitely won’t be watching the show, but tomorrow I think I’ll give my thoughts on the new Wonder Woman costume.
See yah’ tomorrow!